Monday, March 28, 2005
Tomorrow ! Tomorrow will be an excellent day. Any day where I don't have to turn up at the office is a good day....
There are a whole multitude of things that I need to do. First, I need to finally do something to my Blogrolling account. Which I signed up for eight months ago. Yes, despite all the improvement I can still be horribly unmotivated.
And then I have to check out my Meetup.com groups. Yes, I was at work for five days through the weekend and unbelievably enough actually had things to do. Actual work related things.
After that, I need to go out and turn in my green card at the finance company. I paid my auto insurance and road tax last week. What did I learn from that ? I may not be as poor as I used to be, but it still stings like hell to have to fork out four figures worth of cold hard cash. It hurts, but I bet it hurts less than jail, which is where I'd end up in if I get busted driving car with no insurance.
But I did think about the thousand bucks worth of gadgets I could buy....
I need to spruce up my LJ. I need to add some kickass blogs which I've discovered recently.
I bought the Sepet VCD today. Also bought Blade Trinity.
I need to take pictures of The Cat. Actually The Kitten, but she's not going to be small forever. Which is too bad.
I'm actually thinking about calling her Ms Kitty Fantastico. Buffy fans would know what I'm talking about.
I'm in a strange place right now. Which brings me to my point for today. Which is inertia.
As I remember it, inertia is the law of physics which states that a mass or object will tend to stay in its current state of motion. A moving object tends to want to keep moving, and a stationary object wants to remain stationary.
Before anyone bites my head off for my lame ass layman's explanation of inertia gimme a break okay. It's been a long time since I sat in Physics class plus I'm too lazy to look it up. Of course if anyone wants to correct me, please feel free to use the comment function.
This applies to humans too. Only sometimes it's called Fear of Change.
It's a strange place I'm in. It's not as dark as it before and I can see slivers of sunlight in the east (this is a metaphor by the way).
I'm not feeling bad, depressed or upset. I'm not involved in any doomed relationship nor am I attracted to some strange woman who either doesn't know I exist or thinks I'm creepy or is "just not that into me and never will be". I'm not in any trouble with the law or at work and I'm not dirt poor.
In fact, I dare say that everything's looking pretty ok at the moment (dammit, I just jinxed myself by saying that didn't I ?)
This is a good thing isn't it ? But no. Apparently I'm feeling kinda restless that I don't feel like I felt. Which is really stupid.
I think there's a part of me that thrives on pain and darkness. It's probably the same part that is thinking "Angst free blogging is boring. Now nobody is going to read your pathetic blog ! You're doomed buddy ! Doomed !!!! Muahahahahaah !!!!!"
I know none of that is true. But there you go. Negative thoughts and paranoia, albeit in manageable doses this time.
This is inertia. The fact that I'm feeling unsettled by being relatively content can only be explained by inertia. Or was that Fear of Change ?
Have I mentioned before that human beings are stupid and irrational ? I did ? Good. I still think so.
It's not actually surprising. I read many blogs and it's the same story mostly. People rave and rant about wanting a change and when it happens, they dither and wonder if it's what they really want. Some chicken out for no other reason that fear. Or is that security ?
I guess sometimes the security of familiar things can sometimes be more of a comfort. Even as we envy others who are on the side with the apparently greener grass.
Even if that familiar surrounding is dark and dank like Xander's basement.
Inertia = Fear of Change.
Being a human being with feelings can be so perplexing sometimes....
at 11:24 pm