Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Waste of Time?

I have something like 10 minutes to post, so I think I'll just talk out of my ass today.

There's this thing that a couple of pretty well known bloggers are doing. Some kind of contest involving perfume and based on comments people write about relations between men and women.

I laughed when I read some of the entries. Topics comparing men and women in relationships can be funny and exasperating at the same time. I had quite a good time reading. I'm not really surprised at how defensive some people are and how so many people are actually quite bitter about their lack of success. Some others are quite naive and still believe the boilerplate cop-out answers their parents gave them when they were teenagers.

Obviously my laughing doesn't mean that I'm some kind of expert in relationships. On the contrary, you won't find many men who are as inept as I am in it. Particular that part where I get fatally attracted to women who inevitably can't see me as their partner.

Yes, it still happens.

I was going out a lot with a particular girl recently. As interested as I was in her, I couldn't help but feel this sense of dread when I wanted to talk to her about... something. You know the feeling, like you're the watchman on board a ship about to hit a very, very large iceberg in the middle of a very, very cold night.

I wasn't at all surprised when she turned me down. I sort of knew it was coming. At least she was polite about it.

We still hang out and for both our sakes I try to turn off some of my feelings when I'm with her. It's doable but rather difficult.

I knew what was about to happen and yet why do I still go and do it? Beats the hell out of me. You'd think that I know better and the fact is I do know better, but I went ahead anyway.

Anyway, I helped her get a new job recently. I plan to slowly drift out of her life once she's settled. It's a hard decision but I think in the long run it's for the best I think. Hopefully she'll find happiness with the guy that she's currently really into.

As for me, I think I still need to fix my radar so to speak. I need to do something about it so I'll stop feeling things for people who can't feel the same way about me. It's a most frustrating thing. I'm not even sure if it's worth the effort. Despite all the things many well meaning friends tell me and despite my efforts to better myself, I still have this nagging feeling that I'll never get into an actual successful relationship. Sometimes I feel like I left it a little too late.

Like some people say, perhaps my path doesn't lie that way.

I don't really feel sad about it anymore. Occasionally, I get pissed off when I think about it but mostly I just feel unsurprised.

What does make me feel kinda sad is the stuff that one colleague keeps asking.

He's always asking whether I've slept with so and so. I haven't, so I say no. He then says that I'm wasting my time and money going out with her. Obviously, this guy is extremely successful with women. Extremely. On average, it takes him about 4 days/nights to convince a woman to sleep with him if he really puts his mind to it. Not just the desperate ones either.

I have no idea how he does it. While I have no intention of turning into a womanising jerk, I do wish it were that easy for me. I wish I knew what works.

Every time he accuses me of wasting my time and money going out with people who won't sleep with me, I feel very, very small. I shouldn't feel like that but I do.

I guess some people are built for it and some others aren't...

Friday, October 26, 2007


.... I was so exhausted over the last week, I went to see a doctor about it. See, I was experiencing some brain shocks (for lack of a better term) where I would feel like blacking out for a split second. According to the doc, that was a symptom of fatigue.

I don't have those shocks anymore after a few days rest. Ok one day rest. Yes, I'm at work again. Next month I'll have another 3 days of overtime to replace a colleague who's leaving while we train his replacement.

Thankfully enough, I have this weekend off so that's nice.

My original copy of FM2008 arrived in the mail yesterday. I was surprised at how fast it arrived..

Which is a good thing. I downloaded the game to try it out the other day and apparently, cracked versions of the game have quite a weird bug involving the European Championships. Hmm.

Unfortunately, that's not the only bug. The biggest, game killing-est one of all is the closing down bug which makes your players not want to take the ball of opponents. It sucks frankly. Especially now that I actually paid money to buy the original game...

Well, that's what happens when your publishing company wants a product to be out and such and such date, regardless of bugs and unresolved issues.

Despite all this, FM is still a fine game however. Especially now that the beta patch is out.

I also installed back Sims 2 again. And I'm also still playing Gran Turismo 4.

Considering how grueling October and November are, I'm glad I have this distractions...

Monday, October 22, 2007

FM Bebeh

I couldn't wait.

I ordered my copy of FM2008 from tsb.com recently. But last night I thought what the hell. So I went and downloaded it.

How is it? Apart from one annoying bug (that fortunately has a simple workaround) it's bloody awesome. It's definitely much better than FM2007. It's much faster too in terms of running speed.

I now manage Northwich Victoria FC. It's a steep learning curve. The team is quite poor and the board expectations are a little.... ambitious shall we say, given the resources available. The match engine has changed and I have to relearn the whole thing again.

Despite the difficulties and the initial confusion I'm loving all the little details. For the first time, my assistant manager, coaches and scouts are actually helpful. This time around they actually provide me with feedback about my players.

In short, it's great. I'll be playing this for awhile for sure.

In other news, please check out Releaselog for your... errr... warez requirements.

I'm at home now and I'm tired. I intend to sleep my brains off after posting this.

Good night.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Morons!\Gaming Quarter

I'm am bored. Therefore I will post.

I don't get it. I've been reading stuff on the net recently and there is something I don't quite get. As we all know, there's been a lot of negative talk lately about our cosmonaut or whatever it is they call him these days.

Quite a number of people think that the whole thing is a waste of money. While I don't quite agree I do understand where they are coming from with that argument. Other people are bringing up the usual race/religion issue when the doc got picked for the mission. While I sincerely hope that the doc was picked because of his potential as a cosmonaut and not due to political convenience, it's hard to totally dismiss that kind of argument. As long as our system stays the same, this kind of suspicion will always be around.

My opinion? He got picked because of qualification and potential. I could be wrong though I hope not.

Now, what I don't get is how some people are blaming our doc cum cosmonaut for the whole thing, as if it was his idea in the first place. Some people are actually saying that he should have rejected the offer on principle.

In my opinion, the people who blame the doc and expect him to do that are morons, frankly speaking.

There are many, many morons in this country. Many, many morons.

Yes, obviously a lot of people are rather unhappy with the way things are being run by the BN government. I'm rather critical myself actually. But some people take this dislike very, very far. Usually, these very same people also like to potray left wing opposition figures as saviours of our country. Are they?

In my opinion, no. In more ways than one, some of them are exactly the same as some of their BN counterparts i.e icons of raging insincerity. Especially near election. Like right now.

The resentment that I have for some BN reps is also the same resentment I have for some opposition reps. Maybe it's just me. I've always had this thing against authority.

But can you blame me, considering some of the crazy things that BN reps have said. Oh sorry, I meant UMNO reps. No I don't like them and no I don't trust UMNO. Sorry. But seriously, it feels like most of the crazy, cringe worthy shit have come from UMNO. I wonder why. It would be nice to have an UMNO member explain.

Opposition reps are not much different. Some of them take this check & balance thing a little too far by arguing about every damned little thing just because. They also like to say insane shit that don't make sense.

To be fair, I do know of many parliamentarians and state reps who try their damndest to Make Things Work(TM). You may find them on both sides of the fence. The don't make the papers
because they don't say crazy shit like some of the idiots from THAT organization.

They can say whatever they like so long as they don't accidentally cause riots and civil war by mouthing like they do. So long as my friends, family and I get to live the way we want they can do whatever the hell they want.

Election is near and I sincerely hope certain government parties take a battering. Some of them have become too arrogant and have been taking their constituents for granted. I'm not anti government by any means but I think it's time to teach them a lesson.

So, are you a registered voter? If not what are you waiting for? Do It.

That's enough for my rant today thanks.

I will now talk about happier things namely computer games. The final quarter of every year is always a good time for avid gamers because that is when most of the really good stuff comes out.

Already we have Company of Heroes: Opposing Force, which I don't have yet. I loved the first one and this 2nd one is more of the same awesome-ness I would think. I'm going to be looking for this next week.

Coming soon is Call of Duty 4. It's like all the other CODs, except it's not set in WW2. I love the Call of Duty series and I'm really looking forward to this one too.

Then there is Football Manager 2008 which apparently is already out. I just found out today actually. It's been out since the 18th. I've already placed my order with tsb.com. Hee hee.

Unfortunately, it's on back order so it could take awhile to arrive.

And then there is Need for Speed: Prostreet. Out in November. I've just noticed that I've mentioned four games from four different genres. Yes, I do like my games thank you very much.

I'm going to be quite busy during this final quarter. Sometimes, I feel relieved that I don't have a girlfriend to hog my precious quality gaming time.

Then again come to think of it, a girlfriend who is also an avid gamer would be great. After all there are a few games that I could think of that need at least two players. Preferably of different genders...

*wink wink*

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


I normally don't drink much coffee but recently I've taken a liking for the Nescafe White Coffee they have here at the office coffee machine. It's great.

Especially on a night like this.

One week no update. There is nothing to update about really. Nothing interesting happened over the last week. Apart from the neighbour's cat getting stolen. Now they want to buy another cat...

I had to work over the Raya hols so I didn't do much. Went to Fariah's house on Sunday night and Zack's house the next night to fix his PC.

Half month gone and I'm still ok even with all the extra work. The money will come in handy. I've decided not to buy a new handphone. Yet.

These days I spend most of my time in front of the TV in the kitchen playing Gran Turismo 4. Needless to say, it's fun.

Also fun was Mortal Kombat: Armageddon. It was much more fun than I thought at first.

I went out last night too. I was supposed to go to Seattle but ended up at Barzing instead. It was ok. Just ok. I'm beginning to tire of going there actually. If it weren't for the company I would've stayed at home and finished my German Touring Car event in GT4.

Got some more overtime to do this week. Hopefully I'll have a good enough time and nothing disastrous happens in the office.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

To Infinity and Beyond?

I was on the way to work earlier this evening and I saw a huge rainbow while I was driving through the toll plaza near Bintawa. It was like a multicolored column of light hanging in the sky.

It was nice.

Well, this month's crazed overtime schedule has started in earnest. I hope it will be over quick so I can devote more time to more important things. Like Gran Turismo 4. It's freaking brilliant. Words fail to describe how brilliant it is.

I'm apparently 17% into the game. I've gotten all the racing licences. I've gotten the hang of tuning and am actually taking the time to use the test tracks to tweak performance.

The game is bloody awesome I tell you. So yeah, my PS2 is very well used at the moment.


Our man in space is now in.... well, space. Obviously it's a huge deal for us Malaysians to have a qualified cosmonaut on duty at the International Space Station.

Lots of people think it's a waste of money. Lots of people think that the angkasawan is just a "tourist".

Well I guess it's not a surprise some people in this country have this kind of opinion. It's part of our very own cultural cringe. Still, people are entitled to their own opinion no?

My opinion? I think it's great that we have someone up there. It's always a dream for all of mankind to go forth and explore the reaches of space. It's great to finally participate in that dream. I think it'll be good for us as a nation and good for science too.

No, I don't think the good angkasawan is mere space tourist. He is a fully trained cosmonaut and he will be doing some tests while he is at the ISS.

He may not be a long term crew of the ISS but he's not just there for the ride either. Hopefully his experiments will be helpful to those UKM boffins who thought them up.

The other guy will be staying on in Russia and might go up next year or the year after that. It'll be good if he were to be accepted to become part of the ISS crew.

All in all, a good achievement we can all be proud of. My only concern is that this angkasawan programme will become a political toy during elections...

And that is what I think.

Yesterday evening, I went along with some friends to check out this handphone shop here in Tabuan Laru. Apparently they have a nice selection of refurbished phones. I thought "refurbished" meant "ancient" and "obsolete".

Ok, some of the phones on offer were in fact obsolete. At least they were cheap, something like 50 - 80 bucks a piece.

The think that caught my attention was the whole bunch of current phones available including Nokia N series and new model Sony Ericsons. Mostly going for 30% to 60% off their brand new price.

My friend picked up a nice Nokia 7390 for a mere RM810. Including 1Gb memory card. Now that's a good deal.

I'm actually thinking about changing phones now. I'm having doubts about the iPhone now. The cost is a bit prohibitive and I probably won't be using all its features so it might actually be a waste of money.

So now I'm looking for something a little simpler (and a LOT cheaper). I don't mind if it's used. A good camera would be nice. 2 mpx would be ok but more is always better. I also need something that can support at least 1Gb of external memory. Preferred form factor is candybar though I won't mind a clamshell phone if the price/features ratio is right. And of course, it must have all the basic phone and clock/calendar functions since I don't wear a watch anymore.

I don't need all the fancy stuff like PDA functions, apps, 3G stuff etc.

I think a phone like that should be easy to find these days for a fair price right?

Well, time to go and make a phone budget...

Monday, October 08, 2007

Busy Busy Busy

No time to blog lately. Gran Turismo 4. It was a very, very good thing I bought that PS2. A very useful distraction.

This whole month I will be working a lot of overtime. It's going to be tight.

I did a very good thing this week. I helped someone get a job.

Have a nice week then.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007


I received some groan inducing news last week. One of our colleagues is quiting. While we look for his replacement, the rest of us will have to work extra days/nights to cover his shift. After that we'll have to start training the replacement which will probably mean even more work.

At least I get overtime. I expect to get lots. I suppose that's a good thing even though I still cringe at the thought of all the extra work.

And so, to console myself I went ahead and bought a..err...console. On Sunday, I went and got me a PS2. Yes, after a hiatus of 16 years I finally bought a gaming console.

It was damn cheap too. Full set, plus extra controller and memory card, RM610/-

So far as is obvious, I'm having a blast playing GT4. No doubt about it, the Gran Turismo series is still the most authentic driving sim ever. I expect to be playing it a good long while. The game features 700+ cars from over 80 manufacturers.

Ace Combat Zero is a lot of fun too. I also have Tekken 5, Mortal Combat Armageddon and 2 Winning Elevens. And Tiger Woods' PGA Tour 08. I've been playing GT4 and Ace Combat most of the time.

It's quite nice to finally have a console again. I really like the idea of not having to install your game before playing it.

Life's been pretty good.

To ensure that my quality of life remains good, this afternoon I went and transfer nearly all my savings into my ASB account.

Excuse me, I have visitors. Continue later.