Cry Wolf

Boy. I took so many photos today, I couldn't decide which ones I want to put up. So, I've decided to put them all up, gradually.

Today was a very very good day. In fact, today was one of the best days I've ever had.

Picture the situation. You have a car. It's been making funny noises. You get annoyed so one day you decide,"Ok, tomorrow I'm going to get it fixed". But....

....on the day itself, you start your car up and lo and behold, the noise is gone. So you wait and wait. No noise the whole day.

Today was one of those days. I woke up. I did my usual lounging around. I played my games. Not once did I feel any negative feelings at all.

I didn't feel bad at all today. Not even a twinge. It was great.

And now I feel silly for raising all the houha about being sad. Having said that, I would be keeping myself under surveilance for the next few days, see whether this is just today or am I really clearing up.

If I am clearing up, it would be great. No medication needed. I had the best time driving about and listening to Greenday in the car the whole afternoon. It was actually fun.

Also the next thing I realize is that the next time I feel down, I should make the effort, rise above the depression induced lethargy, pick up my tiny cell phone and CALL MY FRIENDS. It's really that simple, since I actually have a lot of friends in many different groups.

Not to confide or to whine, just to hang out. Like today. Today was our first RPG (Role Playing Games NOT Rocket Propelled Grenade) fans meet up at Coffee Bean. It was great seeing everyone again, especially those people whom I've not seen in ages.



It was so much fun. We even stayed on topic for a whole twenty minutes ! One of my friends even took the trouble to bring handbooks and RPG paraphernalia like dice !

As usual with our gatherings, the topics meandered in and out of scope. But that's the beauty of it.

Anyway, back to being a shepherd boy and crying wolf.

I recall advice I heard from a colleague many moons ago. During times of depression, you shouldn't be alone. I forgot that.

I should go out more and meet more people. It's not so complicated after all.

So I write this down and hope I don't forget it. I have many friends. I don't have to be alone. I have issues, sure. I have doubts about life and where am I headed and bla bla bla. But I don't have to cut the whole world off because of that.

I should quit the paranoid thinking and stop assuming that I'm some kind of burden to people. If I was, then why are my friends still my friends ? I wrack my brain and I can recall only ONE person who said that I was a burden. Actually, if I was troublesome and annoying, I hope my friends would tell me. I want to know.

Yes, that is also a big issue. Paranoia and negative thinking. It's a bad habit acquired from childhood. I should stop that. It can't possibly be true. Tough habit to break, even now as I write this paragraph my mind is wondering whether I'm being too presumptious.

Also, I should learn to be straight with myself and ask for help when I need it. If I need to whine and bitch and moan about everything, I should look for someone and not disappear into my room.

I'll post more about our gatherings next time. I've got another gathering on Wednesday to attend. It should be another good one and I hope we can do this regularly.

This is not over by a long shot. I will get depressed again. The difference is now I might have a counter for it. We'll see how this works.

And to all those people who were concerned about my last few posts, all I can say now is....

.....ooops. Sorry about that. My bad.

We'll see how this goes. I know the demon's name and the demon's face now. Let's see how fast I kill it.

Update:-

Arrgh ! I trying SO hard right now to NOT post the following picture on the RPG meet up site. Dammit. I'm so evil sometimes.



Seriously, I like this picture. I admit, I play too many shooty games. Maybe I need to see a doctor about THIS instead.