Friday, December 31, 2010


Last entry for this year. So how was it?

It was better than last year. No huge disasters. Nothing to complain about. Hence the inactive blog. Maybe I should think about changing it's purpose from a toxic waste dump to a happier place? I could if I cared enough. I guess.

I took up guitar playing again. I'm really doing it now and in 2 months have progressed more than the other 20 years that I've been playing. I still have a long way to go though before I'm satisfied. There are many things I still can't do.

What about next year? More games and music to look forward to!

I also think that there will be another fork in the road just ahead. I hope so anyway. I still want to change a few things. I hope the moment hasn't passed me yet.

Well, there you go. Happy New Year then.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Almost Over


I thought I'd post an update before the month is out. Which is in about 1hr and 5 minutes. Then December will be upon us.

Shock horror. I've almost stopped gaming completely. Despite having games, somehow something happened and I've not been playing.

Sometime earlier this month, I've decided to play guitar again. Lots of guitars in the house now. And I've also decided to really, really get into it. Which means I'm learning theory as well.

I've been playing the damn instrument for 21 years and I still suck at it. I would like to get much, much better at it. My actual target is pretty high. I give myself one year to do it.

I'm also contemplating buying another electric guitar but to be honest it's hard to justify that right now. I'm not in a band and as much as I'd love to be in one again, it's not likely to happen.

Anyway, life is pretty good because of all the music related stuff. I've discovered new and excellent music (and musicians) from a scene I hardly cared about before and it's been very interesting.

Music has awaken other interests as well. I hope this is a sign, a good sign of things.

The year is almost gone and it's turning out better than last year. I hope it ends on a high.

Monday, November 01, 2010

November Already?

Quite a few things happened recently. I've been meaning to update this blog but there's just too many things occupying my time.

I opened a Twitter account. Originally for work but it turned out to be more useful than I thought it would be.

I discovered new music. A very, very good Jpop/Rock outfit. I've not been this excited about a band since the early 90s. Makes one feel young again.

I've decided to music again. I discovered my brother's gotten hold of an acoustic bass. So now, we have 1 bass guitar, 1 electric guitar and 3 acoustic guitars. It's fun again. I'm rusty as hell but it's all coming back. Maybe I'll even get better than I ever was.

I'm even contemplating buying a new electric guitar again.

All of a sudden I have a lot of things to do. This doesn't include gaming even. Fallout New Vegas came out. So did Medal of Honor. Soon, Call of Duty Black Ops and FM2011 will come out.

I don't know if I have any time to play any of these.

I played Uncharted Waters online recently. But I don't have time to play it anymore.

It's been a pretty good month. New activity breathes new life. It's been quite a contrast from last year.

I feel pretty good suddenly. I hope the year will end well.

Friday, October 08, 2010

Dreams and No Dreams

Yes, I live. I haven't been swallowed up by the earth. Or other things on the internet. I came very close though.

I recently opened a Twitter account. I don't use it much. It's for research for work. I've also been researching stuff on Facebook.

The main thing that happened recently that's threatening to engulf my free time is this.

Many, many, many years ago while we were in college and playing games such as this, we talked about how awesome it would be if there was a version of it which would allow multiplayer. Of course, this was during the days before the internet so we had no idea what an MMO would be.

Well, fast forward more than a decade later and lo and behold, one of my favourite games of all time has evolved into an MMO. A free to play one at that.

Now whenever I log in and sail out of port memory still strikes me and I marvel at how far the game has changed. It's like reliving a childhood memory but with improved graphics, multiplayer and better gameplay.

So there, I have become a victim of another MMO. An MMO that until recently was in the realm of wishful thinking.

Speaking of dreams, a few weeks ago I was driving when a thought struck me.

Everyone has ambitions right? I remember I had some. Then while I was driving, I wondered what is mine now. That become a very vexing question for awhile. What IS my current ambition and aim in life?

I have come to accept the fact that perhaps, I have none at the moment. All the things I want to do currently are all short term or trivial or routine.

Having no ambition isn't so bad actually. It makes me sound like I'm drifting aimlessly through life like so much flotsam tossed about by the waves. Maybe I am sort of aimless.

Funny how that doesn't bother me at all. I'm happy enough and that is good enough for now.

I guess if people push me for a so-called ambition it would be to be contented and satisfied at my life.

So far, I have no complaints. Hence the near total lack of blog posts.

In yet more news, notice I didn't post anything on or around the 16th. That is because Malaysia Day is finally a public holiday and people are finally wondering what the big fuss was all about (especially people in the Peninsula).

I'm pleased with this new development. It's not everything but it's a start and it's as good a start as any.

Well, that's it for now. Perhaps in a months time there will be more to write about. Or I could write about sailing the ocean in my virtual caravel.

Until then.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010



Only 1 post in August. Well yeah.

Anyway, around this time I usually write something pithy about National Day and how it should be 47 instead of 53. Then I go on and on about the reasons why it should be so.

I'm not going to bother this year.

The people who know me already know how I feel about this and people who don't know can look up my older posts.

I'm not going to annoy myself by explaining why. Besides, a soapbox is only good when you have readers. And why wouldn't that be true. No one wants to follow a blog that's updated once a month anyway.


I went shopping the last few days. Finding good footwear is incredibly difficult when you're looking for something specific. I did end up buying something but it wasn't exactly what I really wanted.

At least it was cheap.

I cleared one credit card this month. I used a loan which uses my insurance policies as collateral. Low interest, flexible payment schedule, easy approval. Too bad the amount I qualified for wasn't very big.

But it helps anyhow and I should be feeling a bit more comfortable the next few months.

Comfort. One of the small things to be grateful for. As deathly quiet and lonely things get, I've been in worse places. I try to keep the perspective even as I read status updates and look at pictures of people doing and having things I failed to get.

Life is a sport. Unfortunately not everyone can turn pro.

It's hard to accept this sometimes. But I must remember that perspective.

Till next post.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Return To Azeroth?

While hanging out this week, one topic that kept creeping up was MMOs. World of Warcraft in particular. I used to play WoW. A few days ago, I checked and my last log in was July 2007. A little over 3 years ago.

One of our friends recently started the 10-day trial.

I was please to discover that my account was still alive albeit suspended pending renewal of subscription. I'm actually contemplating going back. Not so soon though, still have some loose ends to handle.

Speaking of which, today I cleared a credit card. Luckily I managed to secure a small loan and much lower interest to pay off the balance. This will help a lot.

Feels kinda good to do something about that.

In other news, life is still like that. It seems that one of the jobs i applied for is a no go and to be honest, things don't look good elsewhere too. I guess I'll have to be content.

I do have some small graces to be thankful for. But still, there's that realization that these too will pass. People grow older and grow apart and each of us will move on. Some will succeed and some others will not.


Is there an end to that? Experience tells me that there is no happily ever after even though this is what we yearn for.

Sometimes, I look at the future and it looks really... empty. As in I"ll be alone there.

It's not good to be so negative but I have to ready myself for that eventuality. To be honest, the more time passes the less likely things will turn out differently. I remember myself being 17 and being so optimistic about life. It was so simple and I was such a good student. There was no way I could fail.

Funny how that worked out in the end.

I do ask myself where did it all go wrong? I'd like to know if it's at all possible, where in the past was the turning point? Were there many or was there one big decision that changed everything? Did I make a wrong turn somewhere and ended up here? Turn a different corner and who knows who I might have met.

I guess I'll never really know.

Until my next post, that is all I have. Perhaps there will be some sort of answer then.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

2nd Post for July

I ran across an article the other day, something about if Twitter and Facebook are blog killers. I think they are.

I notice that my blog isn't the only one that doesn't get updated much. I used to blog to express things at a moments notice. I never plan any posts. All of it was spontaneous.

Then I opened a Facebook account. The status updates covered the need for mind vomit microposting and the friends list covered the need for an audience.

I currently don't have the need to open a Twitter account yet. Maybe I should, if only to book some cyber real estate using my preffered username.

Anyway, this blog is not getting shut down. Who knows, I might need to write something really long winded and I can't write them on Facebook because people know who I am there.

I guess the one thing this blog still provides one thing that Facebook can't. Anonymity. I could bitch about work here. I haven't had the need for it yet though.

I also keep my favourite links here so it's still useful like that.

I've been watching How I Met Your Mother lately. What an awesome show. I love it. Many reasons. I also like how it makes me think about my own life.

Maybe that's one possible subject for a long winded post?

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

A Nice Weekend

We went to Rambungan last weekend. It was great. I think going away from town every now and then is a great idea. A nice way to break the monotony.

Monotony. That's a good word to describe what life is currently.

There's still a lot of football playing on TV. And still very little drama to write about.

No news on job hunt. I hope I hear something soon.

Other than this, nothing worth writing about.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Football Month

There is no time to blog at all. Even less than usual.

I signed up for the Astro Sports Package just to watch the World Cup. It's been great so far. I've watched more games on TV than I've watched the rest of the year.

Actually, there's a lot of football related stuff to talk about. About how the French and English are sucking. And how USA, ROK and Japan are getting better. And how some managers have gotten their tactics wrong. And the heroics of New Zealand! And DPR Korea! And Switzerland!

Maybe some other time?

I recently applied for another job. A govt one. Here is another opportunity for my past to creep up and haunt me again. It's sort of disappointing to think that it would get in the way. But that's the reality of things.

It could happen.

I hope it doesn't though.

Now why would I be looking for work when I already have a perfectly good job? I'm getting old here. I need some job security and something with big longterm benefits. I thought about it long and hard. I'd even take a pay cut.

I hope it works out. Too many things haven't in the recent one or two years.

I hope it does. I have plans that revolve around this.

Ok, that's one post for June. Another one coming before the end of the month.

Monday, May 31, 2010


This post is just so this month's post count will be more than 1.

What can I say, there's nothing going on to report. My computer sort of died, so I had to replace some parts.

Work is just like that. Life in general is just like that. Sort of boring.

What would I blog about if there's no personal matter to discuss? I could talk about current issues again but those things just annoy me. Politics? Same thing.

Anyway, it's Gawai tomorrow. I'm at home and probably will stay home tomorrow too. Not feeling particularly festive to be honest.

Still, the quiet is something to be grateful for. I just wish I could enjoy it a bit more.

It's sort of boring.

Happy Gawai to you all and hopefully your year was alright. It's ok for me so far.

Sunday, May 09, 2010


It's a Sunday. I'm at work. There's this big event going on here. It's pretty cool actually. Big crowd these last few days.
Anyway, that screencap above is of this really, really cool website. Urban exploration is quite awesome. I was thinking about something. I know of some abandoned structures here in Kuching and how cool would it be to buy out land that has a colonial era structure on it and have that structure refurbished. It'd be awesome and a change from building a house from scratch or buying a prebuilt one.
I'd love to be able to live in a hundred year old house.
I've always been fascinated by old things. History fascinates me. Objects and other things connected to the past fascinate me. It's hard to explain why. Even stranger considering that I was never that good at History when I was studying it in secondary school.
I recently applied for another job. A very high paying one at a local campus of an international university. I don't think I'll get it. No matter, all I want is to go to the interview. I feel that if I got a shot at an interview I have a small chance. The pay is very, very good. I really, really need money this year.
I watched some movies lately. Iron Man 2 was pretty good. But strangely, I enjoyed Kick Ass more.
I upgraded to Windows 7 Pro at home recently just so I could play Just Cause 2. I don't regret it. Just Cause 2 is awesomely fun. The game is so very big. So many places to go and so many things to see. And to blow up.
Even more excellent is Win 7 actually. I should've changed over sooner. It is very good. The thing I appreciate the most is the very much improved memory management. No issue with memory leaks at all. I appreciate the quick boot up and shut down too. It took a while to get used to especially since the XP classic desktop is not available anymore. But once past that, Win 7 is really good.
Not much else is happening. It's May already. Almost half a year gone. I really hope I get that job.

Monday, April 26, 2010


I really had no time this month, to say nothing of motivation.

Had a long, long week. There was a major conference at work and I had to work through the weekend. Good thing I'm off work tomorrow. Had some extra leave to clear.

I applied for another job. I sent in my application late last week. Same thing I'm doing but with some extra stuff on top. Much, much more pay. It's a long shot though. The potential employer states that having a degree and/or professional certification is "highly desirable". I have none of these.

Seriously though, I can do this job if I get it. If. No matter though, if I don't get it then I'm not worried.

I stayed at Tune hotel a few weeks back. Just needed to get away from things. Nice, clean hotel. Cheap too. Cheaper still if you book way in advance. I'm going back there should I feel like going away again.

I got a raise today. 5%. Not too bad.

Tomorrow, I need to pay some bills and fix the car.

Hopefully, I'll be motivated to post my next entry quicker than this one.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


I watched Clash of The Titans last week. It was great! Although I do think they should’ve kept the way the original movie ended with the narration about stars and the constellations etc.

I also watched Blood The Last Vampire. Better than I thought. Koyuki is so nice to look at. Something very elegant about her.

And I watched Zombieland. It was great. One of the best zombie movies I’ve ever watched. I hear they’re making a sequel. I’d watch that for sure.

I just noticed the massive gap between the last post and this one. I feel sort of sorry about that. I wish I have more stories to tell. These days, I’m actually amazed at how prolific I used to be as a blogger.

If I were to write more often, a lot of it would be about games. Not many people want to read about that. I could write about them intellectually, ala Kotaku or those other gaming websites. Unfortunately, I’m not much of a writer especially when I’m not unhappy or wracked with anxiety or other things like that.

Which brings me to something that I thought about last week. I was driving in heavy traffic and was looking around. I suddenly had a question. Of all these people around me, how many of them would be able to say for certain that they are happy?
I do wonder. How many people are happy and how many are miserable? I don’t know about happy but somehow I can imagine quite a number of them are not so happy. Why? Just a hunch I was getting.

Am I happy? I don’t know to be honest. I feel many things. Relief would be one of them. Especially when I remember things that I used to get involved in. I had a less than ideal past.

Boredom would be one of the things I feel too. I am kind of bored. Not very bored. Just sort of. But again when I remember things, I’d take boredom over any number of bad emotions.

I guess I’m just going through the motions at the moment.

Strange thing happiness. So simple an idea, yet it causes so much misery during the pursuit of it. It’s the greatest irony.

So how happy are you then?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Regular Stuff

Between work, hanging out, gaming and Facebook there isn't time to blog much. To think I used to be so wordy. This is one drawback of figuring things out. I could write about what I figure out but I don't want to be preachy.

Things are a lot quieter nowadays. Even in my head.

Anyway, I've been playing Dragon Age: Awakening. It's great. I kinda wish it was longer. Not much to say here. Not much changed except things like new enemies, new companions, new items and of course the new story which was pretty good. In a nutshell, Awakening is simply more Dragon Age. Definitely a good thing.

I'm also playing Dawn of War 2 Chaos Rising. This expansion changed a lot of the game. I played the original campaign after finishing the expansion one and a lot of things change. It really feels different. More enemies attack you in the missions even the ones from the original game. Some maps have respawning enemies until there are so many you fight none stop and it feels like you get overrun. And more wargear. And Chaos Marines are pretty cool. Really looking forward to another expansion.

In other news, I'm thinking about buying a PS3 at the end of the year. Its cost is almost reasonable now. Almost. RM1280 for the 120Gb slim one is still a liiitle too much at the moment. Maybe I should get a used one?

Apart from this game talk, things are just like that. A little blah.

I replaced a tire yesterday. Thank goodness for used tires. If not, I would've had to fork out 180 bucks for a new one.

And talking about money, I'm going to be broke still for awhile longer. I hope things clear up soon enough. Lots of clearing needs to be done.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Black Powder

Ever since Facebook appeared, blogging as a whole as gone down hasn't it? Some ways social networking sites provide that instant gratification that blogging once provided. I definitely feel that way regarding my own blog.

Earlier this month, I had a pretty busy time at work. I'm relieved it's all over. I'm hoping for things to remain slow. For awhile anyway.

Been playing Napoleon Total War. It's great. The Total War series keeps getting better and better as it goes on.

I finally got a new hard drive last week. A 500Gb WD one costing a mere 180 bucks. So I no longer have to worry about space. For awhile It also means our other computer at home has more space too since I moved my 200Gb IDE hard disk there. All my music is in one place again.

There is not much to say at the moment. Things are pretty calm. I suppose life could be better in some areas but overall things are ok.

I'm still thinking about making some changes. One or two weeks will decide that.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Time Pt 2

It's March already. Hmm.

In my last post I put up Pink Floyd lyrics and there's this bit that goes:-

"Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines"

The years do seem to get shorter and shorter don't they. And despite all the talk about playing things safe, there are a few I want to do with the time that I have. But somehow, there are things here that hold me back. Plans come to naught or remain just plans.

It doesn't bother me much though. I don't mind if I don't do anything major again in my life. As long as I can be happy. To be free and happy is everything I want. That is all.

There is one thought that scares me.

When I turned 30 I didn't mind it so much. It didn't seem like a big deal. Then recently I realized that that was 7 years ago. Then it suddenly became a big deal.

Turning 40 scares me. It's frightening because of how unready I am. What has the average 40 year old achieved. And where am I compared to that median.

I look at my parents. My former classmates from school and uni. What have I done with all the time? I supposed I shouldn't feel so bad. It's not as if I didn't try to get ahead. But most things didn't work out. Half a page of scribbled lines.

I suppose I fear because when you are young and make mistakes, there's still time. I feel that if I make a mistake now, there won't be anymore time to try to make up for it.

I have a lot to make up for. A lot of favours to repay and a lot of wrongs to correct. A lot I need to do to become the average that I imagine. I don't even know where to start. What does the future hold in it?

And how much time do I have before it's all gone and the song ends?

Monday, February 22, 2010


So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

- Time, Pink Floyd, Dark Side of The Moon

Friday, February 19, 2010

Not Feeling so Good

I’m not feeling so good. Tired. And it’s about to get very, very busy around here. I do in fact want to elaborate on my last post but I’m not really up to it and the moment.

Going out to Bing later. Haven’t gone to Bing in forever.

Chinese New Year break was pretty good. Quiet. Only went to one house. I did have a really good time on the eve of CNY. Went to hang out at a friend’s house to watch fireworks. I was thinking the impromptu fireworks we have in all the towns in Sarawak could be a useful tourist attraction. I think it’d be a good idea to use it that way.

No Valentine’s day blues. Hadn’t had that for a while actually. No desire to whine or ruminate over relationships and women etc. I think I’ve pretty much written down everything I’ve got to say about that. I guess that’s a good thing even though it makes this blog less fun to read. Not that anyone reads it anymore anyway, apart from myself.

I think Twitter and Facebook are more immediate and gratifying as a means of self expression. Hence the reduction in blogging interest.

Felt very lethargic last week and this week too. Tomorrow I’m planning to sleep in.

It’s nearly the end of February and this is only my 2nd post.

There is one other thing I want to write down. About work. I’m feeling kinda angsty again. But no adventure this time. Only security. I get this feeling that this job isn’t secure enough.
Something to think about the next few weeks.

I would feel worse if not for the games on my PC. Had to reinstall Windows recently. The first time I’ve done that to my PC in at least 3 years.

I’ll post again within the next 2 weeks or when something noteworthy happens whichever comes first.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Bits and Pieces

What do Martin Sheen, Michael Dorn, Carrie-Anne Moss, Yvonne Strahovski, Tricia Helfer, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Adam Baldwin and Seth Green have in common? They all do voices for Mass Effect 2!

I've been too busy playing Mass Effect 2. It's brilliant. Every bit as good as its sister Dragon Age. I've just finished the game but I'm starting another one. I also started another Dragon Age file recently too.

Anyway, Mass Effect 2. It's so good it's.... so good. It's an action RPG. And also a sandbox type game. There's a story. A really good story. And many smaller stories on the side. Star charts. Planets to explore. People to chat with. And a final act worthy of any action movie. Or mini series.

If someone mashed together this game and Privateer it would be mind blowingly awesome.

Actually, games like these have grown big enough to warrant its own mini series. One movie won't be enough to include everything in the game, should a movie adaptation be made of course.

And there's the graphics. Beautiful.

Anyway, March will be more fun. There's a Dragon Age expansion to look forward to. An DLCs for Mass Effect. And patch 10.1.3 plus January transfer updates for FM2010. And movies!

Unfotunately, February is a busy month. There's a huge do coming up towards the end of the month and it's going to be quite mad. I just hope nothing bad happens.

So far nothing bad has happened. I do wish it would be more peaceful though. It's not like I'm in trouble or anything. But I got nostalgic recently and I suddenly remembered a time when things felt... different. Warm.

I used to go out with friends and we'd hang out the whole day talking about fanciful stuff like life and jobs and what we wanted to do. We talked about feelings and relationships. And deep meaningful stuff.

That was before real life struck of course. Then I got busy, friends got busy, people grew up and drifted apart. Then there's the depression and the fluoxetine. I still think about that. How differently things would've worked out had I took the pills earlier.

Life is pretty cruel when you think about it. I have more to write. Perhaps later?

Sunday, January 31, 2010

The End of Mondays

It's the end of January already.

As usual, there's not much to write about. Things are just as they are. I'm looking forward to February. A short, quick month with public holidays in it. And March will come and new movies are due out then. Like Clash of The Titans.

I'm very excited about that. I watched the original back in the day with the parents if I'm not mistaken. I was 8 years old. I remember the original story and characters very, very clearly. It'll be like a reunion of sorts when that movie comes out on 26 March.
Another reason why this movie was significant is due to the fact that it sparked my interest in Greek mythology. Which led to interest in Roman mythology. Which led to interest to Egyptian mythology. Which led to... Well, the general idea is there.
That is how I ended up being a history and archeology buff that I am today.
I can't help but think that maybe when the new Titans movie comes out in March there will be a kid in the audience who would feel compelled to read by the story.
I certainly hope so.
In other news, I'm learning Linux. Forced to by things happening at work. It's hard. But I'm going to keep at it. It's essentially DOS on steroids after all. I know DOS so I should be able to figure Linux out in time. And who knows, Linux knowledge might lead to other, better... opportunities in the future.
I'm also pleased to note that so far there is no major inconvenience yet to report in 2010. Neither is there any drama. Or disappointment. Here's to hoping February would be the same.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Slowing Down

Well that took a long, long time didn't it.. There is even less time these days to even update my Facebook status nevermind post in blogs.

I had a long, long week last week. There was a big do here over the week and I was on duty. Tiring. But quite satisfactory. On Sunday, I went out to buy some more computer stuff for this friend of mine who is going on a PC upgrading spree. Over the last few months, I helped him change everything from DVD writer to CPU to RAM to motherboard. Even got a pretty good graphics card. We changed everything and yesterday we went out to buy a new hard disk. 500Gbs for RM175. That's ridiculously cheap.

If it weren't for the fact that I need to pay insurance at the end of March I would buy one myself. It's still on though. I really, really need the extra space. After all the bills are paid I'm getting one as soon as I can afford it.

So yeah, now this friend has what amounts to a brand new PC covered by three year warrantee. We are both very pleased. The only things we haven't changed are the monitor and the casing. This "new" PC should last him quite a while. His old PC stayed more or less the same for something like 8 years.

It was fun doing this. I wish I could build more computers more often.

Other than that, things are pretty routine so far. Time has floated by at a good enough rate so this January doesn't actually feel like the dreary month it usually is. It's been raining very heavily a hell of a lot. People have been complaining about it and for good reason I guess. But I actually like the rain apart from the fact that it makes it inconvenient to go out.

There's been a little bit of drama at work but thankfully it doesn't really involve me. Some people live of this office politics stuff. I'm not one of them. As if like isn't already complicated enough like I often say.

Hopefully this week will be less busy and I can slow down a bit.

Friday, January 08, 2010


You know what some people say about how the year end brings nothing new, that the so-called New Year's Day is just an arbitrary placeholder for the end of a calendar. Nothing changes.

I agree with that.

But this time oddly enough, it feels like something HAS changed somewhere.

I've been at work for a week now and life in general is a little different. It's probably just a change in perception. What I don't know is what brought that on. Especially considering how awful last year was. By right I should be traumatized. True to form last year was filled with crap right up till the last day.

But I'm not traumatized. I could say that I'm numbed but I'm sure it's not that. Maybe it's the weather? Or the new music I put in the car? It's hard to describe exactly what I'm feeling. It's something like feeling easier, like a burden has lifted with the coming of a new year. It feels like I could consign all that awfulness to the past where it belongs? I'm not sure I'm saying this right.

Basically, it's almost as if 2009 didn't really happen.

One not so good thing so far is how busy I am this first week of January. Tomorrow I have to come work again. And next week I might have to work until 10.00pm until Saturday.

Good timing though, after fixing my aircond compressor I'm flat broke. At the end of March, it will be road tax paying time...

I've so knackered I haven't even gone out yet this year. Perhaps I'll do that tonight. I have this craving for a Prosperity Burger...

So there it is, the 1st post for a new decade. Here's to a peaceful, safe, drama free 2010 and may the past stay there and not haunt me like it usually does.