Saturday, February 28, 2004

Geektastic !

I found that word 'geektastic' at the Blogroll website. I love that word ! It's Now I have to find new and ingenious ways to incorporate it into my speaking vocabulary. Yes, it's geektastic !!!

I looked up the word 'geek' at the online Merriam-Webster dictionary. According the Merriam-Webster:-

Main Entry: geek
Pronunciation: 'gEk
Function: noun
Etymology: probably from English dialect geek, geck fool, from Low German geck, from Middle Low German

1 : a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake

2 : a person often of an intellectual bent who is disapproved of

Interesting no ?

Now, while I'm sure many of us may have been/are classified as geeks, I'm pretty sure none of us have ever participated in a carnival, or have ever bitten the head off a chicken or snake, dead or alive.

The other thing I want to know, if people stop disapproving a geek for whatever reason, does that mean that the geek person stops being a geek by definition ? Food for thought.

Yes I am bored and no I don't have anything significant to write about.

Two More

Once again I have found some superbly done blogs.

Check out Absolutely Fuzzy & Felicitious.

Very impressive. These blogs are what my blog want to be when it grows up.

Friday, February 27, 2004

Longhouse & the Sixth Seal

What do you do when you go to a blog and the first thing you see is a bottle of Longhouse liquor ?

You add a link to it of course !!

Here's The Sixth Seal and the bottle of Longhouse.

Enjoy !

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Storm Warning ?

It's very calm and quiet nowadays. My life. Mostly filled with routine and other regular stuff. Music, DVDs, games, hanging out with mates. Nothing exciting at all.

It wasn't always like this. I remembered broken hearts and dreams dashed against the cruel rocks of reality. I remember being lost at sea, tossed by waves of uncertainty while I cling to what hope I had left, my only way to stay afloat while the deep dark sea of life threaten to drag me under. I remember betrayal from trusted friends & family, cutting and ripping like sharp, sharp knives. I remember living in a world so dark I could not see my hand in front of me, never knowing whether I would live to see the first rays of dawn, or would I die, either by own hand or devoured by the cold, cruel world, left an empty shell, neither dead nor truly alive.

How's that for imagery ? Did it work ? Was it compelling ? Hehehe.. No, actually all of the above is true. I once felt like all that.

What's the point then ? If I no longer feel bad then why the nostalgia ? After all the worse is over right ? That's exactly the point. My life has been better lately. But I nearly forgot. Before the storm, there is calm. This is just to remind me of what I might have to go through again, to be ready.

Nothing lasts. Not bad times, not good times. I have to remember that I cannot take things for granted, all those things, material or otherwise, that I enjoy now. Lest they be taken away. Lest they dissapear into thin air. Life being what it is, can do that to me. Must remember.

I guess what I'm trying to remind myself off is that no matter how good things are now, it can go horribly wrong. The night could come back and all those things that I left behind can return to haunt me.

I also have to remember that whatever happens, no matter how bad things get, no matter how pointless life becomes, I still have myself. And that is enough for me to see it through.

After all in life, nothing is permanent.

Here endeth the rambly and rather pointless thought.

Ooh I feel a Buffy quote coming ! :-
Angelus: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends... No

*Buffy closes her eyes and steels herself for whatever's coming.

Angelus: Take all that away... and what's left?

*He draws the sword back and thrusts it directly at her face. With
lightning-fast reflexes she swings up with both arms and catches the
blade between the palms of her hands. She opens her eyes and meets his.

Buffy: Me.
- Becoming Part 2, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Good night.

The New Proton

Went out to check out the new Proton Gen2 just now in the afternoon.

Pretty impressive. I heard lots & lots of people bitch & whine about this car, about how much it sucks and how crappy the workmanship is etc. But it didn't look to shabby actually.

But first, I do want to tell about what I do worry about this car. It's a Proton after all, and as with all Proton cars, the quality control might not be very tight. Buy a Proton, you either get a gem of a car which will faithfully travel thousands of kilometers without so much as a squeek or you could get a buggy dud which would require more remedial attention than a 90-year-old Alzheimer's patient (in other words it would be plagued with bizarre, annoying problems and break-down a lot). I'm especially worried about the car's electronics. Just now at the show-room I heard this guy whine about his spanking brand new Perdana having problems with the electronics that control the car's automatic gearbox. And my cousin drives a Waja that sometimes would lose the lights of one of the instruments in the dashboard. Very annoying.

Having said that, the car is quick sweet looking. I particular like the lights (especially the rear lights, radical !!), the 15" wheels (suuweeet !) and the new-agey instrument panel. The car was a bit cramped on the inside, especially the back seat, so if you have kids or fat relatives/friends you might have some trouble stuffing them in. The front was fine. The seats were comfy and very adjustable. The dash is smartly arrange with a very nicely designed instrument panel. The built-in CD-player (Blaupunkt) is very nice too. On the whole the inside of the car has a nice rounded feel to it. If only it were bigger in the back...

The outside of the car appeared to be quite solid. None of that Milo tin material Proton used with the Saga & Iswara. The doors could use with a little extra damping. When you slam it, it doesn't have the satisfying dull 'thump' sound that I like. The suspension look alright. If this car has the same quality shocks that the Waja have, then its handling would be very very nice. The engine looks very complex. At 110hp, it should be powerful enough for most people.

On the whole, pretty decent, although I reserve final judgment until I put this car through it's paces by driving it. The odds of me buying this car is now 75%. I just hope it's reliable and troublefree.

Check it out here.

*update : -

I'm browsing the Proton UK website right now and that reminds me of something that I'm quite unhappy about Proton. Anybody who bothers to do research would know that the UK Protons and the local ones are streets apart. Just check out the user testimonials.

Okay to be fair Proton doesn't make crappy cars. I'm just unhappy that the local models and the export ones are so different qualitywise. Proton should stop ripping off Malaysians. The only way for Proton to compete after AFTA kicks in next year is to sell the same model locally and outside (namely UK & Australia). The export models are so far superior quality. You'd say the same thing if you saw a UK edition 1.6 Proton Persona (Wira Aeroback) up close. I want the export models dammit !!! And how come the Gen2 manual version doesn't come with airbags !!!???

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

MyDoom !!!!!!!

Dammit !!! Dammit to hell !!!!

I knew it ! I knew it was too good to be true for me to go through the last day shift before break without anything disastrous happening. [ and right before going home time too ;( ]

I got a call. We have MyDoom virus in our network and now I have to help shut the virus down. Already got the latest definition and the removal program tool (which doesn't work ! &^$(*&%$%$# :( ]

It's a good thing I'm not working tomorrow...

Gotta run. Got a virus to kill.

Monday, February 23, 2004

Jam !!

Had a great jam session on Sunday.

It was great to get together with the guys again and mangle our favourites hehe. No, actually we were quite tight but I managed to forget a few chords and progressions to some songs on our regular set list. Also, we jammed for two hours and by the last ten minutes, we could barely stand. It actually hurt physically to play guitar by then. It's been too long since we last jammed.

Still it was a lot of fun. The highlight was our attempt at covering "Sweet Child O'Mine". It was a bit rough and the solo bits need some work but on the whole, pretty good considering we just learnt that song that afternoon. Our version of Skid Row's "In a Darkened Room" was okay too. Sheldon (our vocalist) decided to turn off the lights in the jamming room to create an ambience (the song was called In a Darkened Room, geddit..) So there we were, playing this rather heavy rock ballad, in a room lit only by the glow of our Compaq laptop's LCD screen, which we used to record the whole session (the resulting mp3 file was 70mbs !!). It was awesome. I felt like we were making a video.

I noticed in the comments that some of you were kinda interested in the band. Okay I'll tell you about us. There's five of us. I play rhythm (2nd) guitar. We're what you might call a hobby band. We just jam for fun and to improve our playing. So, sorry no gigs (yet..). We play all kinds of stuff. A lot of nineties-era rock music, but occasionally we (try to) play things like reggae & ska.

Right now, we're not really good just yet. I certainly wouldn't mind playing public, but we have a lot of practising to do if we want to achieve that standard. Actually, having said that, I have seen bands who play live and are actually worse than us....

I'm hoping to introduce more current stuff to our playlist. Stuff from Audioslave, Silverchair and other bands that are newish. I feel that it would make us better musicians if we had more variety. In fact, for our next jam session I want to pitch New Order's "Regret" to the band. And also we need to work on our electric, pianoless version of "November Rain". That would make a fun song to play.

It's nice to be in a band.

William the Bloody Awful Singer

I came across this article when browsing around the net this morning.

Interesting. It seems that in order to gain recognition from a competition, you either do it the old fashioned way and win, or you fail spectacularly. On national TV preferably.

For the uninformed, the subject of the above article is William Hung, the Chinese-American fellow who entered American Idol and failed spectacularly in the early rounds. I saw that episode and yes, he was that bad. It was awful.

Still, kudos to the little guy for trying and for handling Simon Cowell's excessively harsh criticism very well. I can't diss him cause at least he didn't cry and whine about the judges being blind and what not. As bad as he was, at least he wasn't deluded. It's nice to see him get some positive recognition for his effort, although I'm pretty sure some people are just doing it to take the mickey out of him.

Malaysia's own Akademi Fantasia is starting up now too. That means my mom will start hogging the TV again. Of course it won't have a Simon Cowell-like judge involved (last time I checked) so it won't be as much fun to watch.

I wonder if we'll get our very own William Hung....

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Riffage !!

Not much going on here.

At work, feeling a little fidgety and not a little sleepy. Last night was terrible, tossing & turning. I think I got like two hours sleep, tops.

Fortunately, I'll be going to a barbecue later so that should be fun. All my *RPG-playing, sci-fi loving, Buffy-hating (but not all of them *smirk*) buddies will be there.

I went out yesterday and blew most of my February entertainment budget on stuff such as American Wedding (Unrated), How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (hey, I was bored) and best of all, Hoobastank's new CD, The Reason.

I love rock music. If you love rock music, then check out the new Hoobastank CD. Can you say "riffage" ? Got some mind-blowing riffs in the CD. The slower stuff ain't bad either. Pretty soon, I'll get cracking and (try to) learn some of their songs. I might want to recommend to the band some of it, although that would take some doing since our lead guitarist is kinda old-skool and not really into the new stuff.

Funny thing happened when I picked up guitar playing for the first time long long ago. I was 16 and at the time, I hated rock/metal/any sort of guitar music. Particularly rock/metal. But after I started playing, I began to appreciate it more, especially rock/metal. And until now, I can't get enough of it. Other instruments are fine too, but the thing about guitar that I most identify with is it's rawness and power. Plus, it's pretty easy to pick up. Try it !

Also, I love girls who play guitar. Yeah, like Michelle Branch and Jewel and Sheryl Crow and Charlotte Hatherley (her solo album will come out in the December, can't wait) etc etc.

Also, yesterday I went to the Project Petaling Street website. Browsed some blogs and I'm stunned at how many quality blogs are out there, all written by regular people like us. Awesome. Once again, I say it's great to be part of such a community. Especially one that doesn't require anyone to travel great distances and/or spend large amounts of cash. All it takes is just a PC with a Net connection and something to write about. How easy is that !

Also, I noticed that the more pissed off someone is, the better the blog entry (or it is just me). Maybe I should get pissed off more often...(just kidding..)

Gosh, I'm bored. Here endeth babble.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Ash on TV

Last night, I watched Ash Live in Tokyo on Channel V.

Wow. I forgot how much I like this band. It was awesome to hear them tear through some of their classics like "Burn Baby Burn", "Wild Surf" and other stuff. They also did a really cool cover of Weezer's "Only in Dreams". It sounded like Tim's voice was a bit off especially early on, but the band was awesome throughout. The one thing they could improve is their interaction with the crowd.

It was still a good gig though. I was quite excited, this was the first Ash gig I've watched with Charlotte Hatherley (their "new" guitarist) playing. She rocked !! Awesome !!! I would so love to play along side her. Sometimes, a band can go through a line-up change and have it go completely go wrong. But not Ash. Ever since Charlotte joined them, their sound got fatter and more complex, while still retaining the distinct Ash sound. Can't wait for the next album, it's been so long...

After watching that, I straight away took out my guitar and practised. Mostly Ash stuff. It was hard. See I play guitar, but I'm not very good. The thing I have the most trouble with is speed and precision. I tend to play "dirty" and miss notes at high speed, especially when I'm riffing. Most annoying. I've been practising and trying play "clean" for years & years literally, but I still got a long way to go. Not clean and not fast enough.

I'm going jamming on Sunday !! Me and my mates ! It's been so long since our last session. The last time we jammed was in early January. It's great to be in a band. There's nothing like picking up your guitar and rocking out to your favourite music. The next step would be to do that out in the open, in front of people. Yeah, putting yourself out there and letting people listen to you. Unfortunately, we're not very good yet, so that won't happen any time soon.

Gotta run. Get guitar strings and practise for Sunday jam session.

Also, American Idol will be on tonight. I won't be home until late, so I think I'll catch the 2.00am repeat. Wonder who those judges will insult tonight....

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Do Nothing

I've just had a very busy day.

In my work as a technician, I've discovered that on every three/four day/night stint, it's always the first day or the last day that will be busy as hell.

I'm relieved though. It's the last day for this round and I get to hang for the next two days. This break, I'm going to absolutely nothing useful at all. I'm not going to read or anything that could "improve" my mind or my knowledge. In other words, I'm going to be a slob.

It's good for the mind, goofing off is (eee Yoda-speak..!) Our elders, they mean well. They keep telling us, we should not waste our time. We should be continually improving ourselves. We should have interests that are educational or meaningful. No disagreement there.

However having said that, if we don't make time to be a couch potato and be totally useless for a few hours, we'll end up being wound-up tight-asses with no sense of fun. And what happens after that ? Our friends mysteriously dissapear and we get lonely. And we all know how much that would suck.

So, go ahead. Had busy day ? Stressed out from all that work at the office ? Forget about it ! Lock the door and do abosultely nothing useful for a few hours.

It works.

Here endeth the random thought.


Tuesday, February 17, 2004

People are Brain Dead Pt 2

Class Conscious Elitists

I came across an article in The Star (15th February) that once again, proves that some people are brain dead stupid. The article is here.

In case you won't/can't read the article, basically it was about an internet chatroom debate caused by this girl from an elite school in Singapore who's got this relationship with male student from a not-so-elite school. What started out as a boy-girl thing ended up being about a social class thing and apparently lasted for 4 months.

Apparently, in Singapore schools, it's not acceptable for a student of a "lower class" to "try & climb the social ladder" by dating another student from an "elite" school. Also, this is not acceptable because "The one weaker in academics will not be able to provide nourishment for the mind and cannot engage in intelligent discussion on politics, for example. And the more intelligent one will probably have to lower his/her standards and eventually will degenerate to the same level. We are afraid of genetic dilution."

There are more choice comments in the article. Here's my favourite:-

*Sgstvoy, who admits he came from a top school, argues that students with limited capacity, or the lower class, “exist for the service of the upper class.” [This guy actually used the term "upper class". Who the hell does he think he is ??]

To the lesser students, he advised: “Know your limits and develop your other niche abilities for I do believe an academically inept person will have other abilities that may not be valued by the current system.” *

Eh ? Are these things happening in Singapore or some European fiefdom in the Dark Ages ?

With things like these being said all over the internet, how are Singaporeans ever going to shed their ARROGANT, SELF-INVOLVED & KIASU stereotype. Don't get me wrong, I've known a few Singaporeans and they were decent enough. I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING against Singapore or its inhabitants.

But you have to think about it, if these little bitches can be THAT snobby in high school, imagine what they'll be like when they get older. Certainly not someone I'd hang out with.

The thing that shocks the heck out of me is that in this touchy-feelly, politically correct day & age, some people still act like this. Goes to prove some people are idiots. I hope these arrogant bastards get sucky jobs and get anally raped by their bosses.


New Kid

Just got a message that a very dear friend gave birth on Valentine's Day. She's still in hospital.

I'm pleased.

Also I've just discovered Andrealism. Very Nice.

Monday, February 16, 2004

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithful
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments

~Oriah Mountain Dreamer~

Angel Dust

Angel out at 5

I'm disappointed to find out that the WB has decided to drop Angel The Series at it's 5th Season.

TV will be that much poorer when Angel bites the dust. It (and it's now defunct parent show Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is without a shadow of a doubt, one of the best acted & best written TV series ever to grace my television (and occasionally my computer) screen. A show full of awesome characters played by awesomely talented people. A show with story arcs so compelling that I couldn't help but ask for more.

I didn't always like Angel to be honest. At first I thought it was a little too dark and broody for my taste, since at the time I was more used to Buffy's lighter style. Also, I didn't like David Boreanaz that much. But slowly slowly I watched more, until Season 4 last year where I really got into it.

I'd like to thank Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt for bringing us some of the best TV moments we've ever had. I only hope that the season finale will do justice to the show.

Angel, Wes, Cordy, Doyle, Gunn, Lorne, Fred, Spike and the rest of the crew.... We'll miss you & godspeed.

On a lighter note, a statement from WB indicated that there are plans to keep the Angel/Buffy universe alive with a movie length feature in the near future. An Angel/Buffy movie ? I'll be keeping my fingers crossed and my schedule open for that....

And Joss ? How about that Faith spin-off eh...?

Saturday, February 14, 2004


Hey Valentine's Day. I nearly forgot. I also forgot that yesterday was Friday the 13th. I have a question. What if the bad things that are supposed to happen on Friday the 13th really could happen, would it still happen to you if you forgot that it was Friday the 13th ?

I was out last night. Nothing special, just hanging out with my buds at the old Open Air Market, drinking tea and talking trash till late. Ah the joy of local eating places. And coffee shops !

Kuching coffee shops. Without coffee shops, life in Kuching would suck. I mean if I don't hang at a *coffee shop or kopitiam as we call it here, what would I do ? It's not like there's that many choices here anyway.

When bored and needing to unwind, there's nothing quite like a visit to a kopitiam to meet up with friends. Sure, sure I could go other places like a karaoke bar or something similar, but really, has anyone ever been to a karaoke or a bar with more atmosphere than a kopitiam ? Of course not.

The Kopitiam is a very, very important place. It's not only where food and drink are consumed, it's also where thoughts and ideas are exchanged. It's a vital cog in the machinery of socialness that we take for granted. Imagine, how many business deals are discussed and settled at a lowly kopitiam. How many relationships have started/ended at the very same place. And how many insane ideas have been conjured up while drinking coke (medium size) at said place. And countless other stuff have been derived from many a heated discussion held at at the kopitiam I'm sure. Without it, Kuching would be as dour and as dull as a tablelamp.

In Malaysia in general and Kuching in particular, hanging out at a kopitiam is essential. It is a social engagement not to be taken lightly :).

Props to kopitiam operators ! Without you people, we would be even more bored than we are now.

Happy Valentine's Day. I'm off to get some teh-o peng at the kopitiam downstairs.

*I'm using the term kopitiam to also include food courts and other similar places.

Technical Stupidity

Are you a computer technician ? Computer savvy ? I got two links here that proves no matter how smart some people are, technology will turn their brains to jelly.

Check out this and this.

You won't regret it.

Thursday, February 12, 2004

The Ninja Covenant

I watched Last Samurai (damned good movie) a while ago, and for some reason the following came to mind. It's got nothing to do with samurais or bushido, obviously. I think it's really cool though.

The Ninja Covenant

I will vanish into the night,
change my body to wood or stone.

I will sink deep into the earth,
walk through walls and locked doors.

I will fly like a bird or become a fish and live underwater.

I will be killed many times,
Yet I will not die.

I can change my face and become invisible,
and I'll walk among you, without being noticed.

I am a Ninja and my way is Ninjutsu

Funny Pictures

Hey guys !

Found this site that's got some really funny pictures in it. Some of these pictures are explicit, so don't open these at work (unless your job really sucks and you're just too lazy to resign)

Enjoy !

Blog Therapy

It's 6.00am and I'm going off for three days. Yay for me !! Damn, I'm so exhausted, I've been working nights for three consecutive weeks now. Believe me it's hard. Looking forward to returning to land of the living (i.e day shift) next week.

I suddenly had a thought.

Why on earth did I start blogging ? Me, writing (typing actually) on a regular basis about stuff that I sometimes don't even want to talk about. Me, procrastinator extraodinaire, the laziest asshole on the planet, especially when it comes to using my brain and writing down thoughts.

I don't know why I started blogging, but I can definitely tell you what it's done to me. Before this, I wouldn't be able to write anything at all without it sounding like a foreword for a Physics textbook. Nowadays, I just free-associate. It's so liberating. Writing without any structure or framework or any of those technical things that my college English lecturer harped about. And you know what ? I think it's more expresive that way. It's more "live" someways, like talking.

Another thing, it's therapeutic. At the end of shift (like right now), I'd log in and just tap away. A lot of times, I feel a bit gloomy or upset or disgruntled. I log in, I write whatever, I preview, I post and voila ! The bad feelings are gone !! I should've done something like this when I was getting dumped why all those women all those years ago.

It's great that something so simple and so straightforward as writing nonsense can have such a calming effect. Also, being a part of a community helps a lot too. And of course, the possiblity that somewhere someone is reading your blog entry for the day and finding it useful. I can tell you right now I have read some killer blog posts about stuff that really matter or stuff that I can relate to personally. Makes you realize that there are like-minded people in the world and we're not absolutely alone. There are some pretty good writers out there.

Thanks to all those bloggers out there for making the net an interesting (& sane) place again.

Gotta Run. See ya !

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Best New Artist

I'm quite pleased to note that Evanescence won the Best New Artist award at this year's Grammies.

I think this band is awesome, what with they're unique sound and Gothic vibe, even if they say they're not Gothic. It's too bad that Ben Moody left. I wonder how that would affect the Evanescence's overall sound. The replacement guitarist is pretty good though (used to play fo Cold) so I'm not too worried.

I also just got My Immortal (Band Version) of the Evanescence website. Excellent re-recording. The guitar solo towards the end of the song really makes it that much more melancholic.

I love music. All kinds, although I have quite a bit of trouble getting used to contemporary R n B & Hip Hop. I mean sure, some of Beyonce's stuff is good and Hey Ya is a really cool track (love the video, it's just hilarious) but for the most part, hip hop & r n b just doesn't do anything to me.

Nowadays I usually just listen to music with lots of guitar work in it like John Mayer, Michelle Branch (she rocks !!; hope she wins an award at this year's MTV Asia Awards, though I seriously doubt it) and of course, Evanescence. I also love a good dose of hard rock, alternative rock and punk/pop punk. I feel that guitar based music is more honest and more relatable to me, also since I'm a (mediocre) guitarist myself.

It's a damned shame I had to work last night. I had wanted to watch the Grammies. Award shows are fun, provided that they don't cut too much out of it. The next one is the MTV Asia Awards on Valentine's Day. I really hope Michelle Branch wins her category. I think the kid's got a bright future and I would dearly love it if I could sit with her by a burger stall, pull out my acoustic and jam with her. That would be so much fun.

I'm also wondering who won the MTV Screen The School of Rock competition. Usually I don't bother with those comps but last week the prize was so compelling I had to try. The grand prize is a Gibson SG guitar signed by Jack Black. A real-for-deal Gibson SG. What sickens me about this is with my luck, that guitar would probably be won by some kid in his teens who doesn't play guitar. Picture it, a Gibson SG (which is worth thousands of ringgit) sitting in a corner of a room not being played.

What a waste !! I really hope I win. That would so make my day/week/month.

Have a nice day. Ciao.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004


I'm completely stumped. I've been staring at this PC for a while now and apart for the Buffycentric post below, I haven't figured out what to write about.

Is writing about not knowing what to write about a valid topic to write about ? Was that a sentence ?

Usually, it's not hard to come up with an idea. I'll just recall what I read in the paper, or a movie/tv program I saw, or a book I've read and just extrapolate from there. Even vague childhood memories usually works. But this morning I delved into the nether regions of my brain in the hope that I would find a suitably enlightening/interesting and found absolutely nothing.

Ever had one of those days when you feel like your brain is in sleep mode and you can't form any coherent thoughts. Well, this morning I'm having one of those moments.

Just about the only thing I can think of is that now it's February. Boy, where did January go. Not that I miss it, after all what is January but a month full of Mondays. Now I'm thinking funny how fast time flies when we get older. I used to remember back in primary school when a day seemed to last forever and I had all the time in the world to do stuff. Wait, that's the childhood memory thing kicking in. I'm not stumped !

Valentine's Day is coming. It used to bug the hell out of me, what with the mushy overtones and couples over-imbibing in Public Displays of Affection (yecchhh....). It sucked because it reminded me of how loveless and lonely I was. Of course that kind of emotion will lead to the silly questions about why am i lonely and what is wrong with me and what not.

I'm not bugged anymore. I can even watch people get mushy and not gag anymore (well okay sometimes I still do get a bit nauseted). I guess it's a perspective thing. We only feel rotten on Valentine's Day when we feel that we need someone to complete us and that if we're alone we're some kind of freak.

I won't lie. I'd probably feel a bit bluish come the day, but I'm not bitter about it anymore. So what if I'm by myself. It's fine. If you're in a relationship, then all well and good but if not ? So what right. It's not that important.

Besides, Valentine's Day is just a gimmick to sell flowers and candy and listen to sappy songs on the radio (boy that's sounds bitter).

I saw a comment on one of my posts, saying that if we're willing to risk injury in opening up to other people we won't be so alone. I think that's correct, even though it's easier said than done. I thinking maybe one cause of loneliness is our own defense mechanism. What do you guys think ?

Nearly seven. Have to go now. Have a good day.

Buffyesque - Restlessly Hushed

What a weekend.

Fixed a bunch of computers (extra money !), learnt how to convert mpeg, AVI & DivX video files to VCD 2.0 compatible format (so that you can watch all your downloaded videos using your regular DVD/VCD player, thanks to Marty for the tip !) and bought the Buffy Season 4 DVD Boxed Set. What fun !!

I got the boxed set on Saturday afternoon. I popped in Disc 1 at about 4.00pm while I finished with the computer repairs and stopped at 11.00pm. Would have continued if my dad didn't insist on watching TV. I finished off the rest of the set the next day (I started at 4.00. In the morning). One & the half days to watch 22 episodes plus special features. Yes, I'm a Buffyholic and I need help.

Actually I wanted to talk about why that show is so compelling, but that's such a long story (also, i'm feeling really lazy right now). Anyways, I'll just make a list of all the good stuff from Season Four.

A lot of people don't like season 4. Many say that this season was weak. I disagree. This was a season of change for all the major players. Buffy's in college and feeling completely lost. Willow is suddenly cool and looks much hotter. Giles is jobless and drifting around aimlessly. Xander lives in his mom's basement and gets sucky jobs. Spike gets a chip planted in his head and can't hurt humans anymore. All this and what do we have ? That's right, more hijinks and hilarious dialogue (the show's strongest point). This whole season was about change and adjustment.

Top 5 Season 4 Episodes
(in no particular order)

Hush (Episode 10) -
A new evil comes to Sunnydale and steals everyone's voices. This episode has no dialogue for more than 30 minutes. If you want to see acting skills and effective use of score, watch this.

Restless (Episode 22) -
Best. Dream Sequence. Ever made for TV. Surreal and trippy. Clever use of music also evident here. Watch out for the Apocalyse Now scene with Xander and Principal Snyder. Awesome !!

This Year's Girl/Who Are You (Episode 15 & 16 Two-parter).
Faith wakes up from her coma and seeks revenge. The second episode features a body swap with Sarah Michelle Gellar playing Faith & Eliza Dushku playing Buffy. Watch these two episodes for more stellar acting and the most vicious fight sequence of season 4 (and possibly of the entire show).

Wild at Heart (Episode 6) -
Oz meets Veruca and discovers that she is also a werewolf. This episode features the most emotional moment of Season 4. Honestly it just tears me up to see Willow cry (*sob*).

Something Blue (Episode 9) -
Wanting to cure her broken heart, Willow casts a spell so that her will be done. Of course, the spell goes horribly wrong. This episode's just hilarious. Just go and watch it.

My personal favourite of the bunch is Wild at Heart. It's just so sad (*sniffle*).

I also wanted to make a list of the top 10 most newbie friendly episodes of Buffy so that non-fans can see why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is such a cool show. But I guess that's for another post :). I'm just too lazy at the moment.

Happy viewing.

Friday, February 06, 2004


Chap Go Meh was yesterday, therefore many shops were closed including the cybercafe that I always go to. Since I'm not at work until Sunday, had no net access yesterday. And yes, that was dull.

Last night I watched American Idol. I don't normally watch it, but I was bored and I had little to do. It was rather interesting actually.

What struck me about it was how bad some of the "contestants" were. Okay, while I'm not star material, I can carry a tune and sing okay enough (especially when I'm slightly drunk, hey it's all part of the karaoke scene). Some of these people couldn't sing to save their lives. Even worse than that, when the judges (esp. that Simon Cowell guy, I thought he was unnecessarily harsh at times) tell them that they suck, they act all upset and shocked and insist that the judges are tone deaf or something like that. I mean, surely they've heard themselves sing right ?

Okay to be fair, you can't fault them for their guts. The whole point is, while it is admirable to try and reach for your goals, you gotta be realistic.

Heres the lowdown.

People, American Idol (and all it's franchises and similar things) is a SINGING competition. Therefore, the necessary prerequisites are a) One must be able to sing in tune and b)One must do it well. If one can't do neither then what business does one have entering a competition like that. I mean, that's like entering a shooting competiton when you haven't even touched a gun, never mind shoot one. Or entering one of those cooking competitons when you can't even boil water. If you can't do it well and people mock and laugh, it's your own fault.

This brings me to something I'd like to call the Self-Help Myth. Anyone ever read one of those self-help books? You know the ones that say, confidence is the key to success bla bla bla. Funny how many of the books don't really highlight ability/talent. Not much mention of graft and hard work. The most important determinator of success is confidence. Guess what, no it aint.

Sure we have to be confident in our abilities. Without it, we'll just sit at home and hide in a corner, because we're too afraid to try anything. But what I saw last night, was a whole bunch of people trying to replace lack of ability with confidence. I'm confident therefore the judges will see that confidence and be impressed, they say. I'm confident so I'll be successful and blow the judges away. After all, all the newspaper columns and the self-help books say confidence is the key, they think. Once again, dudes, it's a SINGING competition. Also, get real.

The world can be really harsh. Even if someone has talent/ability and is confident, there's still a chance they would fail (I know this first hand). And not just in singing competitions. Applies to all the situations we go through, like job hunting. If you can't fly a plane, obviously you can't be a pilot no matter how confident you are.

The point of my entry today, confidence is not enough. I think, in order to make it in whatever, first prerequisite is ablity. Second is confidence. Third is graft. And the final thing is the X factor, Luck. And not being deluded also helps :).

Nothing guarantees success. Nothing. All we can do is try within the best of our abilities.

Ain't life grand....

Have a good weekend.


Thursday, February 05, 2004

Cool Song Ep.2

In keeping with the "I don't give a damn" vibe of recent entries, I present to you a song ironically entitled... "I Don't Give a Damn". It's got great lyrics and a killer hook in the middle. I listened to it before I left for work yesterday evening. I love it ! Enjoy..

I Don't Give A Damn
Avril Lavigne

Everytime you go away

It actually kinda makes my day
Everytime you leave
You slam the door

You pick your words so carefully
You hate to think you're hurting me
You leave me laughing on
The floor

Cause I don't give it up, I don't give a damn
What you say about that
You know I don't give it up, I don't give a damn
What you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry, about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

I thought we were just hanging out
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth
You thought the way you taste
Would get me high

You went to all your friends to brag
Guys are always such a drag
Don't you know the reason that I kissed you was to
Say goodbye

Cause I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging so why'd you kiss me on the mouth?

Don't you know that I...

I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that

I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that

People are Brain Dead Pt 1

People just don’t get it.

I’ve been reading the papers and there’s this major controversy about a couple of rape/murder cases involving underaged victims.

Obviously, the crimes are heinous. And people have been talking about what to do to prevent such a thing from happening. There’s people arguing about the death penalty & whether that would work as a deterrent, then there’s people who argue about the human rights of the convicted offenders. Well, here’s what I think.

Josef Stalin once said, “Peasants know how to deal with vermin. They exterminate them.” To me, if a person rapes a child (or anyone for that matter) and then murders them later to cover up their tracks, they’ve given up their so-called “human” rights. If someone can do such a thing, do you think they deserve any leniency ? I mean they obviously didn’t think about the ethical treatment of their victims now did they. If convicted, then they should be shot. By a firing squad. Without the blindfold. You know, like vermin. That’s what they are after all. You get what you give. You kill, you die.

The harsh truth is that whatever we do, stuff like this will always happen. They will be crime as long as there are people. That’s not the point of this entry. I don’t know why things like this happens. However some people seem to think they know.

Everytime this kind of thing happens, there’ll always be idiots who blame pop-culture. Yeah, some guy axe-murders somebody for fun ? It must be because of all the slasher flicks he watched. Some idiot kid drinks paraquat & kills himself ? It’s because of all the loud, devil music kids listen to nowadays. Some psycho rapes and kills a ten year old girl ? It’s because of all the porn that he’s been watching. Yeah, we humans are so weak in the head that we become mindless automatons, completely unable to filter all info that we get from watching TV/surfing the Net/reading the paper. Well guess what I think ?


Consider me for instance. I’ve watch movies so violent they never should have seen the light of day (Cannibal Holocaust anyone ?). I’ve watched hard-core porn. I listen to stuff like Napalm Death & King Diamond and other various black/death/thrash metal outfits. I’ve played Doom 2 & Grand Theft Auto. Guess what ? I’m neither a violent person nor am I a sex fiend nor a criminal and I don’t worship the Devil. And everyone I know aren’t any of these things either.

I remember a case where some kid shot a few people in a theatre back in the early nineties. When the cops got to him, he said he was trying to reenact a level in Duke Nukem 2. Lame excuse right ? Guess what, people bought the excuse and there was all this uproar about the violent games kids play. The kid played a violent computer game, so that must be why he did what he did. Oh yeah? what about the other 2 million people that played Duke Nukem, did they go to a theatre and shoot people randomly ? Didn’t think so. Goes to show that some people are brain dead.

Think about it, if you watch a movie about a serial killer and then you go and axe-murder some random person and say that the movie made you do it, who’s fault is it ? That’s right. It’s your fault. How can people believe that the movie had anything to do with it ?

What’s the whole point of this rant ? Stupidity. Things happen and “well-meaning” but out-of-touch, stupid, old people blame things that have nothing to do with anything like Ozzy or trashy novels or something or other. Worse, people in power buy their stupid argument and start banning & censoring MY favorite TV shows. My favorite music. My favorite PC games. I have to GIVE UP things that I LIKE. What the HELL did I do, I didn’t hurt anybody ??!!!!

There’s more stuff like this that piss me off (stuff like the lepak “problem” and how all of our social problems are caused by young people). That’s right, it’s always our fault. It’s absolutely boggles my mind how people can be so stupid.

The point is, if anyone wants to be blame anyone for anything, at least be smart about it. Pop Culture has little to do with the bad shit that goes around, ok. Don't waste your time.

People just don’t get it.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

One More Night


It's early in the morning, I'm tired and I have absolutely nothing useful to write about.

Still at work. Just one more hour before my shift ends and then I'll be on my merry way. Back to my DVDs and my guitar. I'll sleep my head off today, I'm so exhausted. One more night and I'll be on my break.

That's the good part about working shifts. I work three/four days/nights and then I'll be off for the next three/four days. Lots of time for me to do stuff. Like figure out how to work my blog template.

I'm very lucky. I got me a job that I think is perfect for my personality. It involves computers, which I'm quite good at, I work solo, which is good cause I'd rather do stuff by myself anyways, and my supervisor hardly ever bothers me. It's tiring but at least my job doesn't suck. It pays pretty good too.

I gotta get me a new wardrobe. Yesterday evening, before I left home, I noticed that my "wardrobe" consists of maybe three pairs of pants and half a dozen shirts. I don't really care about this kind of thing, but in all fairness I do need to get more clothes. My old ones are beginning to look a bit ratty. And no, there was no point intended in the last paragraph.

I'd like to thank all those people who dropped by and left comments here. It feels great to be part of an online community again. I used to chat, but there are so many weirdos out there now that chatting's a bit retarded nowadays. All they want to do is "cyber". Dudes, get a life already !

Earlier I was browing through Boils & Blinding Torment. Man that place is laugh riot. It's a Buffy website but it's so funny you should go, even if you've never heard of Buffy/Angel. Damned I wish I could write that those guys. I talk about Buffy a lot don't I ? Yes I'm a big fan. I love Buffy. One of these days I'm gonna write a long rambly post about her, so brace yourself.

I'm so bored I wanna go home. I think I'll kill the rest of the hour by looking at other people's blogs. And Buffy website.

Have a Good Day.


Tuesday, February 03, 2004

It's Official. I Exist.

Holy crap. There are comments on my blog. Real people actually spend their precious time reading my blog !!!

I can’t tell you how happy I am that I got some comments. (Thanks Sarah those comments mean a lot). Heck I’d be happy if people flamed me and called me names, as long as they put it here on my blog for the whole planet to see

It means a lot doesn’t it ? Being noticed. I guess that’s how people are built. Humans are pack animals as the saying goes (I forgot by whom). Without our “pack”, we would slowly wither and die. Life would gradually slip way and lose it’s meaning. Without our families, friends and acquaintances, life would suck worse than it already does.

I’m a loner by nature. I used to spend a lot of time by myself. Back in school, I didn’t have that many friends. At most at any one time, I’d have one, maybe two very close friends. It was hard for me to make friends (still hard actually, but not as bad as before), what with me being introverted and having a rather low-opinion of myself (the result of many hours of brow-beating by the so-called cool kids, among other things). Most kids back then thought I was “weird” and those big-ass glasses my parents kept buying for me did not help one little bit.

So I know more than most, how it was like to be outside looking in. Wishing I was “cooler” or taller or better looking. People can be cruel and it’s most evident when we’re alone. In short, during school and college, life truly sucked. Truly. I felt truly, truly isolated despite my small group of friends.

How do we deal with being alone ? I got no answers. I don’t even remember when it stopped bothering me. Being alone I mean. One day I woke up and just didn’t care anymore (please refer to earlier post, it carries the same “I don’t care theme”). Maybe that’s the key. Maybe we have to fight our pack mentality and teach ourselves to be more self-reliant. Who knows, maybe the key to overcoming emotional hunger is to deny it.

The only thing that I do know is that there are no easy answers. In a perfect world, noone should be by themselves. But since we live here on Earth, we see otherwise cool, interesting people being thrown to the fringes just because of the way they look, or their religion or their skin color or even the idea that they are somehow “weird”.

And what if you are one of them ? What else can you do but spank your inner muppet and move forward.

“The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live” – Buffy Anne Summers “The Gift”

Good night

Monday, February 02, 2004

Cool Song

This song has been stuck in my head the entire evening. Here it is. Enjoy.
By the way, it's an awesome song.

Where will you go - Evanescence

You’re too important for anyone
There’s something wrong with everything you see
But I, I know who you really are
You’re the one who cries when you’re alone

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can’t escape
You can’t escape

You think that I can’t see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You’re left to face yourself alone


I realize you’re afraid
But you can’t abandon everyone
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape

I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can’t even hear me screaming


I realize you’re afraid
But you can’t reject the whole world
You can’t escape
You won’t escape
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape

Bitterness Doesn't Make You Evil (Does it ?)

For the last couple of hours I've been drafting a post. A relationship based one. My relationships to be exact. And how they would be of some good to anyone who might be interested in reading it.

It's not finished yet. It's kinda hard to organize thoughts this early in the morning. It'll be posted when it's done, but while doing it I thought up a few other things.

There was a time when I was depressed all the time. I mean ALL the time. That was the time when I fancied one girl after another. Of course, I also got rejected by one girl after another. It didn't help. It went on and on until one day, I woke up and stopped caring about whether I had girlfriend or not. My depression and desperation got so bad, I think it reached its saturation point. Bizarrely, from then on, I felt a lot better. I felt free and more in touch with reality. I was able to do stuff by myself and not ask any stupid questions like,"Why is it that no girl would fall for me ?". (Actually not too long ago someone did get interested but it didn't work out. Reason ? My lack of interest, but this is a whole different story). What caused the change ? I stopped caring about being alone.

I've been reading a lot of entries in other people's blogs about relationships. Most of them very bitter and cynical posts. I could identify with a lot of these. I also felt the same way and in many cases still feel a bit bitter. Here's a story.

Recently, one of my close friends got married. Now this friend had been going out with the same guy for ELEVEN years (don't adjust your monitor and it's not a typo). To me they had the perfect relationship. They had some trouble but they were never in any danger of breaking up throughout the whole time. When they got married, I was happy for her of course. But I'll be honest here. When I look at her and think about what I had to go through, about the amount of effort that I put into finding a girl who would be with me, I felt bitter about it.

I know I shouldn't. Does it make me a bad person to feel like that ? Is it wrong for me to be envious and to think that it's not fair ? I felt bad but then I decided why should I deny my own feelings. Yes it's not fair and yes I'm envious that my friend's relationship worked while I couldn't even start one. But I've simpled things by thinking that, yes I'm bitter. Yes I should entertain the feeling and wallow in my self-pity for while. And of course, to remember that bitterness, like so many feelings we feel, is just that. A feeling. And feelings wil go away. Always.

It don't matter in the end. She's happy and I'm happy too. It's what she wanted. I thought I wanted to be "involved" so to speak, but lately I'm not so sure. I mean relationships are complicated aren't they. If they weren't then soap operas would be so boring to watch. And I've gotten used to being single. It's actually a lot of fun. Also I got a whole lot of stuff I want to do. Right now I want to concentrate on fixing up a few things in my life first, like getting a car. Not having a car around here sucks, because the public transport net is really crap. However having said that, if I did meet someone I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the notion. The best relationships are the unexpected ones after all right ?

Wish me luck

*this post has been subjected to a rewrite. The one I did earlier sucked balls.


Too Much Talent Can Actually Ruin Your Career

Not much to write about now. It’s 1.00am and I’m sitting at my desk at the factory. All the backups have run and now I just have to do some housekeeping.

I have a story. Last night I was hanging with my buds and I told them again about something that happened to a friend of mine.

Now, this friend and me, we both follow Buffy the Vampire Slayer and both of us are big Sarah Michele Gellar fans. We kept this up for a while when he suddenly stopped. In fact he refused to watch anything that had SMG in it. That was back in 1998-99 I think.

I went drinking with him a couple of months ago and he actually asked me what’s been going on in the Buffyverse. He caught a glimpse of one of the episodes where Tara and Willow were in bed (that was a Season 6 episode) and was genuinely surprised. I thought he was kidding. So I got to explaining what had been happening in the last 5 years or so in the Buffyverse and later I asked him why he stopped watching Buffy. He said two words.

Cruel Intentions.

Now that was a great movie and I thought SMG rocked in it. My friend thought so too. In fact SMG’s performance affected him so much, he ended up hating her because she was “a bitch” (his words, not mine). And he was serious about this too. I found that so amusing.

Poor Sarah. Talk about being a victim of your own success. I’m really looking forward to Scooby-Doo 2. And Juo..err The Grudge I mean. I saw the Japanese one and yeah it was a creep fest. A bit confusing though. But creepy. It’ll be interesting to see if the English version of the movie will be as effective. And of course whether Sarah’s character dies (again).

Funny how on TV Buffy never gets killed (okay she died twice, but she came back..) and her characters in her horror movies end up dead. Maybe she’s trying to do a balance thing, you know like how some people, if they bump their right foot into something they have to kick it with their left foot, just for balance (I saw this on a Channel V interview, I don’t do this).

To be honest I’ve got a case of writer’s block right now, thinking up witty stuff to write is kicking my ass. Hmmm.. maybe I should step out for a smoke…