Wednesday, August 29, 2007


I've been trying to link to an article I read in The Borneo Post, but I keep getting a proxy error for some reason.

Anyway, it's got something to do with my previous post.

The state government is planning our own little bash for the 45th Malaysia day next year. This news pleases me. Even better if they can make it a nationwide thing. Who knows the thing might snowball and become regular.

It's good to know that the government wants to do something like this.

In other news, I've had a decent few days.

I went to Mojo last night. I met some people I haven't met in a long, long time. There was a little bit of drama involving someone else in our group. Fortunately a little level headedness helped a lot and crisis averted.

I'm playing Football Manager again for some strange reason. Now managing a crap team in the Russian First Division. We haven't won in 10 league games. Why Russia?

Blame this.

Can't wait for FM2008 to come out.

A lot of other stuff happened in the last few days. None of which involved me. Except one.

How would you define an open relationship? Is it a good idea to be in one?

I'm wondering because I think I'm in one right now. I haven't gotten a chance to talk to her about it yet. What I do know is that we're almost too close to be just friends. She probably knows this too.

I wonder if she ever wonders...

I love it though. I haven't felt this satisfied in aeons. It's the ultimate proof that I'm not dead inside.

PS. Completely off topic but I simply must share these spectacular pictures from an airshow in Moscow. Fantastic!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Remember, Remember '63

Usually, I would write this kind of entry on National Day but I better put this up before it disappears.

The Sunday Post came out with this article today.

Here it is in full:-

"Malaysia 44 or 50?

Come Aug 31 our beloved nation will celebrate her 50th birthday, as designated by the federal government. But until today certain quarters are still fervently debating the age of our country.

EVERY year as we celebrate National Day on Aug 31, the debate on the actual age of our nation surfaces and it seems to rage with greater intensity than ever.

The federal government designated this year’s National Day celebration as the 50th anniversary of our independence based on Aug 31, 1957 when Malaya gained independence.

However, for certain quarters in Sarawak and Sabah, it is inconceivable that Malaysia could be 50 years old this year as the formation of our nation took place on Sept 16, 1963.

The real bone of contention in this argument over the age of Malaysia is the question of whether Sarawak, Sabah and Singapore joined the Federation of Malaya or formed Malaysia, a new nation, with Malaya on Sept 16, 1963.

Those who advocate that Malaysia as a nation was actually born on Aug 31, 1957 cited the formation and expansion of the United States of America as a parallel to the formation of Federation of Malaya and its subsequent expansion when Sarawak, Sabah and Singapore joined the federation on Sept 16, 1963.

This is a classic case of comparing an orange with an apple because USA was formed by 13 former colonies of the British Empire on July 5, 1776 after a bloody war of independence and remained as the United States of America despite its expansion through the addition of other states to its federation.

This is not the case with the Federation of Malaya or Malaya as it ceased to exist as a nation when it joined Sarawak, Sabah and Singapore to form Malaysia on Sept 16, 1963.

It must be noted that Malaysia was formed through an equal partnership between Federation of Malaya, Sarawak, Sabah and Singapore (which withdrew from Malaysia after two years) it was never a formation of the sovereign nation of Malaya and the three states.

Bearing testimony to this partnership is Sarawak’s autonomous authority on land and immigration as part of the list of special rights of the State would retain in the Federation of Malaysia.

An even more ludicrous argument put forward was the claim that Malaysia is actually the alternative name for Malaya citing references of the region around the Malay Peninsular as Malaysia by British Colonial writers in the 1800s and that the concept of the Federation of Malaya when it gained independence was not confined to the Malayan mainland but also the Malaysian regions still under British rule then.

The flaw in this argument is firstly the confusion of Malaysia as a reference to a geographical region with Malaysia as a nation which came into being only Sept 16, 1963.

As for the claim that the Federation of Malaya was formed with the plan of including Sarawak, Sabah and Singapore, there is no documentary proof and even if there was it had nothing to do with the three states as they never planned to join the federation.

During the formation of Malaysia, there was never any mention of the three states joining the Federation of Malaya in any of the historical documents signed by all parties.

To put to an end this polemic on the actual age of our nation and how it was formed thesundaypost traces the birth of Malaysia through the documents pertaining to its formation signed by all parties and interviewed Datuk Amar James Wong, the only surviving member of the Sarawak delegation of the Malaysia Solidarity Consultative Committee which paved the way for the birth of our nation.

The Malaysian nation was the brainchild of Tunku Abdul Rahman when he was the Prime Minister of the Federation of Malaya. On May 27, 1961 he brought up the subject at a luncheon meeting of Foreign Correspondents Association of South East Asia in Singapore Adelphi Hotel saying “Malaya today as a nation realises that she cannot stand alone and in isolation. Sooner or later she should have an understanding with Britain and the peoples of the territories of Singapore, North Borneo, Brunei and Sarawak.”

That speech set into motion a rapid succession of events that culminated with the birth of Malaysia on Sept 16, 1963.

The book ‘Formation of Malaysia’ published by the Federal Information Department soon after Malaysia was formed stated in the last paragraph of the section Milestones to Malaysia, ‘So in less than 28 months from the time he put forward his proposal, Tunku Abdul Rahman’s Malaysia plan is realised, uniting 10,000,000 diverse peoples — Malays, Ibans, Land Dayaks, Melanaus, Dusuns and Kadazans, Muruts and Bajaus, Chinese and Indians — in a new nation dedicated to justice, peace and prosperity, in pursuit of freedom and happiness for all.’

In his report for the Commission of Enquiry to visit Sarawak and Sabah and setting out Terms of Reference for the formation of Malaysia Lord Cobbold stated in article 10 of his findings that the name of the Federation shall be Malaysia.

No one is in a better position to talk about the formation of Malaysia from the Sarawak perspective than Datuk Amar James Wong, the former Deputy Chief Minister of the State.

When thesundaypost interviewed him at his office, Wong was adamant that Malaysia is 44 years old as he involved personally in the negotiations and consultations leading to the birth of Malaysia.

“I remember Sept 16, 1963 very well. I was in Kuala Lumpur when the agreement on the formation of Malaysia was signed. After the signing I flew straight to New York with Rajaratnam, one of the Singapore representatives, to attend the 18th session of the United Nations as representative of Malaysia.’

Referring himself jokingly as ‘the last of the Mohicans’ Wong said he is the only surviving member of the Sarawak delegation to the Malaysia Solidarity Consultative Committee.

“I was directly involved in the negotiations on the rights of the State and you can quote me in stating that we never joined Malaysia, we formed Malaysia.”

Wong who wrote several books on diverse subjects also published a book ‘The Birth of Malaysia’ in 1993 in which he reprinted historical documents pertaining to the formation of Malaysia.

In the first two paragraphs of his introduction he wrote: “Our 30th year of Independence within Malaysia would be a fitting time and occasion to remind all Sarawakians of our great heritage and as to why and how Malaysia came about.

“This is particularly true of the younger generation, especially those in their mid-forties and below, who were then too young when Malaysia was formed, to grasp and understand the implications. But what all Malaysians in Sarawak must know and understand is that — We did not enter Malaysia, but we formed Malaysia together with North Borneo, (now Sabah) Singapore and Malaya.”

Anyone wishing to find out more about the positions of Sarawak and Sabah within the federation should read this book as it contains reprinted historical documents and reports and a chronology of events that led to the formation of Malaysia.

There should never have been any debate on the age of Malaysia as there are ample irrefutable documents that prove that the birth of our nation is Sept 16, 1963.

While Sarawakians and Sabahans rejoice with our fellow citizens in Semenanjung Malaysia in celebrating the Federation of Malaya’s 50th anniversary of independence from British rule, we cannot distort history by confusing it with the birth of Malaysia.

There is more at stake than the quibble over the dates of the birth of our nation for Sarawakians and Sabahans as accepting Sept 16, 1963 as the birthday of Malaysia means the two states formed Malaysia as equal partners with the Federation of Malaya while accepting Aug 31, 1957 implies we joined the Federation of Malaya.

The latter date could mean the rights of the State were temporary conditions granted by the Federation of Malaya while recognising Sept 16, 1963 clearly states that the two states joined as equal partners in the formation of Malaysia and their special rights are entrenched in the agreement on her formation.

Happy Birthday Malaysia, but is it 44 or 50?"

I wonder, who is the patriot and who is not? The person who asks for the truth or the person who wants to bury it?

Remember, remember 16th September 1963.

Happy 44th Malaysia. May her people live long and prosper.

Friday, August 24, 2007


I was bored so I decided to bring our 1501 notebook to the office. I'm using it right now.

Anyway, I finally did it. I cut my hair. It's short now. I no longer look like a girl (hopefully). I'm going to do more to it later on. I was kind of worried at first but as it turns out having short hair is quite a refreshing change after 4 years.

Hmm, suddenly I've taken more interest in my physical appearance. Does that make me shallow(er)?

Perhaps more importantly, does it even matter whether I'm shallow or not?

Shallow or not, this changing of physical appearance is rather interesting considering I've never really cared before. Perhaps it will complement my more active social life.


I went to have dinner at Minoru on Wednesday night. The food was brilliant, even better than Tomoe. It was slightly more expensive however. But the food was soo good it was worth it. I'm beginning to develop a real taste for Japanese food although I haven't really gotten used to eating raw fish yet.

I'm going back there soon.

I start work today and will be at work until Sunday night. It's going to be tiring. Hopefully nothing bad happens. And payday is a week away!

Damn I need some overtime. Fast.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Today was a nice day. I went to Rayu again. It was just the bunch of us. No one else.

And now I'm at the airport with my laptop. It's very nice here at night.

Tomorrow evening, I'm getting a haircut.

Nothing significant happened in the last few days.

I guess I'm posting just for the hell of it.

Oh yes! Manchester City beat Man United last weekend. That was brilliant. Sven is really doing well and I hope that this isn't just a flash in the pan.

Man Utd will probably recover from their bad start to the season but hopefully they will trail the whole season. It would be brilliant if Man City finish above them. I will laugh so hard if that happens.

I also watched an MLS highlight show this afternoon. It was very interesting. I really like how American commentators describe matches.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Inside Looking Out


Two hours more before I get out of here. I can't wait to go to sleep.

Neither can I wait for September. September will reveal my future jobwise. I will keep my job for sure but as for future direction, I'm not so sure. Do I stay or do I go? Is there anything better in store, considering that good employment is so hard to come by these days. I'd love to start my own thing but as of now, it's not the best idea.

At least I got the experience, the ability and the papers to prove it. Worse comes to worst, I can look elsewhere. Which is more than I can say for some people.

I know a few people who are desperately looking for work. I feel sorry for them, some of them are good. But alas no luck yet. For me, looking for work was not such a big problem. I was lucky I guess. It's a blessing these days.

There are many blessings I could count.

Despite my somewhat disastrous youth I came out ok. I earn a decent enough living, have many friends and have a good social life. I'm pretty good at what I do. Even my home life is better. I can enjoy the finer things and can afford to do stuff. If I was less disciplined, I could literally buy anything I want.

There are people who can't do that.

I used to think that my life was really, really bad and that I was good for nothing. For a while, it was true. Then I did what I had to do and that has enabled my to change my perception.

That is what I'm most grateful for now.

Lately I've seen and heard things that has made me realize that as bad as things were, it could've been worse. For some people, it is worse.

Some of these people are people I know. I hope they are strong, never let life beat them and come out ok. I would like to see them prosper. They certainly deserve it, maybe more than me.

Hopefully, I can to help out a little.

In other news, I'm listening to Major Lodge Victory these days. It's Gin Blossoms' come back album. I'm glad they reformed. They haven't changed much which is great.

I'm getting off work in a few hours and I hope to have a nice break. Here's to another good week.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Car Post

The new Proton Persona looks very, very, very sweet. In fact, it is so sweet even some Proton basher forum trolls are being nice about it.

I hope the QC is up to standard.

I'm actually contemplating changing my car.

As usual, the Persona is well priced. Plus, it's a 1.6 and a full size sedan, not a fastback like my current car. I've made some calculations and if I get rid of my current car I'll be able to afford this one quite easily.

But, I actually like my current car. I put a lot of work and money into it. Hmm.

Damn, if I was earning a little more I'd keep both cars. In fact, I have enough saved up for a substantial, monthly payment reducing deposit.

Nah, I'd better stop thinking about this. Having said that, I'm going to visit a showroom next week...

I work this weekend and I hope time goes by quickly.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Heart 2 Heart

Facebook is so much fun. On Sunday, I was bored and I went nuts reviewing movies. And wrote stuff on other people's walls. Tons of stuff to do and explore.

Yes, it's way more fun than Friendster ever was.

I finally went to Starbucks yesterday. It's quite nice. I'm coming back there soon. Probably during the early evening.

Talking about fun, I had the best time ever on Sunday night.

It started out innocently enough. We were at my house downloading music (using Ares, highly recommended!). I was supposed to send her home after burning CDs and stuff but we started talking and laughing so we decided to go somewhere else first.

Mojo was closed by the time we got to town. Next, it was either Barzing or Zen. We decided on Zen. Nice place. It doesn't have walls. Open air places are very nice. We drank chardonnay. The place was closing so we brought the wine in the car and finished it off there.

We were quite tipsy by this time so we decided to get some food and more drinks and drive to the barrage.

Alcohol does help one tell the truth yes?

We talked about a lot of stuff. Stuff that we normally wouldn't say out loud. About our feelings and the future and stuff like that.

She told me why she can't go move forward with me. She's in love with someone else. It's been like that for awhile now. She told me she knows how I feel about her. She said she was sorry and wants to remain friends.

I told her I knew that something was in the way. It wasn't her fault. Being friends is fine with me. I'm not very keen on a steady relationship anyway. What I have with her now is exactly what I want.

Are we friends? Sometimes I'm inclined to think that we are a little more than friends. Just about the only thing we haven't done is get physically intimate..ehem ehem. She'll probably insist that we are just friends, but I know she thinks this too. She isn't stupid and she isn't blind...

After more heart to heart stuff, gross out fart jokes and other jokes about piss and lesbians, we finally ran out of chicken wings and beer. It was 4 in the morning.

Her parents were not very pleased. But she told me the next morning that it was so worth it...

It is. This is the most fun I've had in a while. In many ways, it's perfect. I like her and she is almost like a girlfriend but without the commitment. We no longer have any secrets between us and things are very comfortable.

Honestly, it doesn't really matter if things become serious or not. It's fine the way it is and anything else is a bonus.

Times sure have changed. A year ago, this kind of thing would plunge me into serious bouts of anxiety and depression. It's a good thing I went to see a shrink...

It's going to be a nice week.

Excuse me, I must feed cat and play with Facebook. Have a nice day.

Saturday, August 11, 2007



I've got this sudden urge to cut my hair short and change my image. Yeah, the heat has something to do with the hair. The image? I have no idea where that came from.

But I feel like it's a good time for another change. As usual, I'm nervous about it. Change always causes anxiety.

So yeah, I'll probably look a little different by September.

There was a post I wrote about not liking someone as much as I thought I did. Well, I've changed my mind again. It turns out that I do in fact like this person. A LOT.

And even better, I'm getting the impression that this person also likes me. A LOT.

Unfortunately, not quite enough to take it to "the next level" so to speak.

I'm not sad about it though. I'm pragmatic enough to know this kind of things happen.

I'll just have fun along the way and enjoy it while it's still here. No worries.

I have to work this weekend. It's very boring. The days are hazy and the nights are very warm. It's hard to sleep.

I hope it rains soon.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Morning Thoughts

Well, the haze is back. Along with that, the incredible heat. Last night I got home and turned on the shower. The water was warm. At 10.00pm.

It's a good thing I work indoors in an air conditioned office.

Haze. Ugh.

Talking about ugh, sometimes it just pisses me of when I read news and stuff on the net and in the papers. I'm grateful I live here instead of in some other part of country. Some parts of this country are full of zealots, bigots and assholes with their own dystopian vision of society. I wonder sometimes, is it a cultural thing? Because where I'm from, people aren't so hell bent on dividing and oppressing people who are "different" from them.

These people must never, ever be given power. Never never ever. The whole country will go to hell if they do.

I have another thought this morning.

You know how many people (particularly clueless moral guardians) like to blame all kinds of things for social "ills" right? All kinds of things. Music, TV, books, lack of religious knowledge, pop culture, inter gender relations and other shit that in fact doesn't really mean jack squat.

These people are dumb.

It's rather obvious, if only certain people get out of their ivory towers and hit the slums and poor neighbourhoods around them. The root of most social problems is poverty.

It's really bloody obvious. Poverty is a sticky problem, messy and uncomfortable to deal with. No one has any answers and it's hard to score cheap moral brownie points to make one look good when dealing with this rather chronic, age old problem.

I sound cynical? Perhaps. But lately, that's what I see. Do I have answers? Not really. But at least I'm honest about that, unlike some people...

Cynical or not, I'm actually in a very, very good mood lately. Life is being very good and interesting at the moment.

Have a nice week and God I hope it rains...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


On Sunday, on a whim, I went to Rayu for a bit of a picnic.

With FIVE women. Five young women wearing swimwear on a hot, hot afternoon by an ice cool river. One of them actually forgot to bring a spare bra so she went in the water braless in her swimsuit...

Needless to say, I had a great time despite the looooong drive. It's a good thing that I actually like drives into the countryside...

It's been a wonderful few days. Really, really great. I kind of overspent but it's so worth it. I might talk about this some more in later posts.

Another thing that cost a bit of money was the car. I had it checked and it turns out the brake fluid needed changing. Not only that, I have to schedule a time for a full brake system bleed and cleaning. That's going to take at least half a day according to the mechanic.

It also sounds kind of expensive.

Must look for overtime next week...

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Closing The Gates Of Hell

Yesterday morning, I went to see the Doc as scheduled. Things are going swimmingly well. No more random inexplicable migraines, no more side effects, no more morbid gloomy thoughts about death, no more feeling sorry for myself.

When compared to the first time I entered the Doc's office, I feel approximately 4,000,000 times better. That's not an exaggeration.

To me, during the last 3 months the entire world changed into a place that is actually quite liveable, despite all the morons that live in it if you know what I mean. The light at the end of the tunnel is no longer a train and the future no longer looks like the inside of an abandoned coal mine.

It feels quite nice now.

It's not over yet though.

After consulting with the Doc, he decided that now would be a good time to start tapering off. One does not go off anti-depressants cold turkey. Bad things can happen.

One more appointment in September and after that we'll know for sure. So far, I feel quite good about it. Whatever happens, at least I have options now and I know what to watch out for.

Hopefully after September, the gates remain shut.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Confide In Me

"It's hard. My life is hard. I'm in a difficult place right now...", she said, staring into her drink.

"It gets better. As you get older, the way becomes clearer", I said rather too calmly.

"I was in your place too once. Things are confusing, you don't feel so confident and you don't know your place in the world."

"But it gets better", I said after a pause.


...That's a good question actually. Does it? I know that it's hard to be sure. We've all seen friends fall by the wayside. I nearly fell myself. The truth is, no one really knows. One can only hope. I know that, she knows that, we all know that.

"Yes really. But it all depends on you", I said as a manner of insurance.

"You're a bright person and time is on your side. You can make a lot of difference. The opportunity will come. You need to see when it does."

That's kind of ambiguous and cliched, I know. I also know that this is true. Good and bad things, they all come and go in their own time.

"I promise I'll do whatever I can to encourage you and to help you."

"Thank you. That means a lot."

She smiled.