Saturday, March 26, 2005
The Dumb Things People Do
Dammit. I go and write a looong entry and what happens ?
My PC crashes. And now I forgot what I was saying. So, brand new entry. In retrospect, maybe it was good that I lost my last entry. It was a little too ranty, now that I think about it.
I went out last night and had a great time. As usual, great conversation, bizarre unintentional jokes and people getting hypered up from sugar and caffeine.
Which brings me to my point.
It's quite strange to see someone you know making the very same mistakes that you've made before. And yet at the same time, you know that there's not much you can do. Sometimes, people NEED to learn the hard way. No amount of help is going to, well....help. In fact, when you're talking about someone who is currently quite self centred, any amount of extra attention is going to make the problem worse.
In a way, it's naivety. You need help and you want to talk and yet somehow can't be straight with yourself about it. So you unconsciously do all these little things to draw attention to yourself. Like you go out with your friends and instead either being straight up and ask for help out loud or make an effort to enjoy yourself, all you do is pull a long face in public, secretly wishing that someone would ask you what's wrong.
Stuff like this is extremely annoying. No one likes an attention whore.
I've been through that before. I still don't get it. I still don't know why some people (myself included) who need help don't just go up to a friend and say,"Hey, I feel like crap today. I need to talk about it." Why this urge to do annoying things like hint that you're upset and expect people to read your mind ? It gets even more annoying when you see that it's not working, so you make an even bigger ass of yourself. In public and in front of strangers.
Personally, I think the straight up asking for help is less annoying and somehow seems more "professional". And yet.... I've done crap like this myself.
Is it pride ? Is it denial ? Maybe it's hard to admit that you want to talk about your feelings, especially when you're a guy. So you try to suppress it, but the crap feelings are so strong they bubble up to the surface and cause the irritating public displays of attention seeking.
Actually, that sounds about right. I could be wrong here. But that sounds logical doesn't it ?
Or maybe it's indecision. You want to talk, but you don't want to at the same time.
Of course, some people love to draw attention to themselves just because. That's another different story. Fortunately, I don't know too many people like that.
Another thing that I thought about is the overeagerness factor. See in social interactions, overeagerness = badness.
Overeagerness makes people scary. And annoying. It can result in things like inapproriate touching, lame attempts at making jokes and other annoying attention getting ploys that never work.
I should know. Don't ask me how I know. We human beings are so lame aren't we ?
Actually, being hyper happy and eager when you meet someone you know and equally hyper eager to see you is great. It only gets creepy when strangers are involved.
Tact is very important. Some people as usual, need to learn it the hard way. I know I did. You know what's scary ? Some people, never learn.
Ironic isn't it ? So eager to meet new people, make friends and possibly more than that, and yet that same eagerness is what is pushing people away.
Sometimes, not trying at all is the best policy. Especially when dealing with people.
Ok this post is quite long enough for now. I haven't started on people who are hyper intense yet. Like that one time, when my cousin's ex girlfriend went to a longhouse, met this guy and was quite friendly with him, only to be have the bejesus frightened out of her when the guy asked her to marry him.
After only 5 days.
Can you say presumptious ? This story as they say, is for another time.
People can be very strange.
at 10:42 am