Boxed In

Ever notice how when you're friends have problems (especially emotional ones) you're right there fixing and guiding while when you have the exact same problem later you can'tdo jack ? Or don't know what to do ? Or know what you need to do and do the exact opposite thing anyway ?

I noticed.

Think outside the box the mantra goes. Externalise the problem. See the big picture. Don't get mired in the details and imaginary potential consequences.

Simple concept but one that is nearly impossible to remember. Even when remembered, nearly impossible to practise.

At least I found it impossible.

Actually it's easy enough to practise provided you're not involved directly. Provided that you have no emotions invested in your situation. That's why it's easy enough to do at work.

Being detached is part of the practise. I can do this easy at work. Sitting at the always eventful IT Helpdesk at work, you can't afford to get too involved. Or your abilities to think clearly will get compromised. What does that mean ? Crap performance review.

That's the key isn't it ? Clarity. And emotions, they cloud.

Recently, as all regular readers know (yes, all four of you) I've had to deal with some problems involving emotions. Now, I've seen all these things happen before. I've had the same things happen to me. I've given advice to people with the same problems. In hindsight, I knew what I had to do and knew what was going on.

And yet, for the life of me I couldn't handle it without losing my head. Damned emotions are too powerful. I go through the motions everytime I get involved with problems like this. When there's a woman there.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to forget everything again and do and feel exactly the same things all over again. How many people can claim to have handle attraction rationaly ? Tell me. Probably none. Bleak ? Yeah, but true enough.

I've messed up every aspect of my life and fixed nearly all of it. But when it comes to relationships with women, I've tried so hard and yet...I'm afraid I'll never get it right.

At my current rate, I'm afraid it might be too late anyway...Maybe I should just stop.