Sunday, October 24, 2004

Between One Thing and the Other Thing

It's real quiet here.

I'm real tired. It's my last night of work for the week. Then off for three days. Or rather, two & a half because I'll be asleep most of day tomorrow.

Next two weeks will be tough. I have to work the next eight out of nine days because a colleague is getting married and I agreed to replace him. We gave him a good hazing on Friday night. Which reminds me, if I ever marry I'm not telling any of these clowns here at the office until AFTER.

I looked at the calendar and again it struck me how fast time flies now. Especially in the final quarter. It's as if time herself can't wait to get this year done with. Due to my coming tight schedule, November is going to come & go in a flash. By the time I get my first looong four day break, it'll be mid November already. Which reminds me, I need to apply for leave for the 26th & 27th of December.

I feel like I'm in some kind of hiatus right now. From life. I feel like I'm in suspended animation, pausing until something else happens in my life. Right now, I feel like being just an observer. Nothing is happening to me, but many things are happening to others. I just watch.

I feel like I'm in a "in-between" stage, just coming out of something and and waiting for whatever next thing that happens. You know ? Like half-time during a football game.

It's nice to watch. It's nice once in a while to not be caught up with the things that go on in life. Like the angst and the agony that comes with relationships. Like the frustations of looking for new employment. Like the stress and fear of having major changes in your life.

It's nice to be able to rest. It's nice to able to laze around the house doing not much and thinking even less. It's nice to hang with friends and have nothing seriously important to discuss.

Everything is routine at present. Calm and ordinary, with just enough highlights to prevent it from being monotonous and dull.

I want to revel in the relative tranquility that is now. I want to bask in my ordinary state of being. I know with my luck, it won't last. There will be upheaval and change soon enough, as it always will be. But not right now.

And for once, I hope that whatever thing is supposed to happen next let it be a thing that I can deal with. Let it be a thing that I've learnt lessons about. And may I not forget these lessons.

Maybe, next time the Fates will favour me ? Maybe.

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