More Links I Found (and some stuff about Rome:Total War)

Firstly, let me share a few links.

I thought this article was hilarious. I got it off some friends.

"Tell a man that he's not "man enough" and he tends to overcompensate by acting macho."

I'm quite familiar with this concept of overcompensation. It's hilarious to watch. Am I prone to this too? Of late, no (I hope). But when I was a lot younger, I might have. Actually, I know I have.

What's up with boys and the strange reaction to not being "man enough"? I guess boys and men get insecure far more easily than they would care to admit. Don't ask me why it is so. But suddenly I smell a good opportunity for some militant feminist male bashing right here.

Anyway..

I would like to see in writing, what constitutes being "man enough" and "acting macho"? And if the stereotype holds, why do so many men behave in such a way despite the fact that so many women hate it?

Then again, what man has never been guilty of trying to "attract" a woman by doing and being the very thing that she detests?

Another thing I picked up recently is this NY Times article about "mercenaries" in Iraq. Or rather, "private security contractors". Very interesting.

And then, yesterday I downloaded a Rome:Total War mod called Rome:Total Realism. It's brilliant. More in depth, with an earlier start date and more than 200 new units, including new 3D models for each one. It even includes a new intro. RTR's got enough changes in it to make the game feel very,very different. Meaning to say, it's not just a cosmetic rehash of the original Rome:Total War.

I like the revamped playable factions which includes new ones like the Sarmatians, Bactrians, Illyrians and more. I like the fact that the number of cities have been boosted and the map pushed eastwards into Central Asia.

The battle engine's been changed too. Missiles (arrows, javelins, rocks) do quite a bit of damage now. I managed to kill war elephants in a test battle just now by using massed ranks of peltasts (javelineers) and concentrating their fire. I used to hate elephants in the original RTW because of their apparent invulnerability. I also noticed some improvement in battle AI and the overall pace of a battle's been reduced slightly.

The best new thing I noticed? New models. Troops are more historically accurate and the models for the new troop types look really good.

There's more changes in the mod. I'll write about them as I find them. Currently, I'm running two test campaigns, one Roman and the other Bactrian, just to see how the Hellenic-Eastern warfare model is handled in the game.

According to the lead modders, Rome:Total Realism strives to be closer to history instead of using the simplified (and inaccurate) historical timeline used in Rome:Total War. Whatever their aims were, I salute the modders. Considering the fact that they did all that work for free and considering the very high quality of that work, I congratulate them on a job well done.

I recommend it highly to all RTW fans out there. Please go and download it.

And talking about that, I can't wait for the RTW expansion, Rome:Barbarian Invasion. Oh yeah!

EDIT: Hey! Look what we have here!

Da Island

I wonder. Has blogging lost its allure? Yes it has.

At least this week. Or was it two weeks.

I have been too busy. I barely have any time for myself. In a way, its a good thing. Being busy means not having any time to get depressed or sentimental or anything like that.

So to make up for that, I've taken an extra day off next week. That means I work for two days only. It's time to spoil myself. I wonder what I should buy....

Despite being too busy and too exhausted, I did find some time to go out with Bernard, Ivan and Rin last night to watch The Island. Last night was quite funny. Initially, Rin told me that the plan was to watch Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. Apparently they didn't tell me that there was a change of plans. So there I was in the theatre expecting to see Johny Depp's mug in a funny hat. I got Ewan McGregor instead.

I thought, ok maybe this is a trailer or something. I sat there 10 minutes before I realized that we were indeed watching The Island. Then I thought, maybe we went to the wrong theatre. I looked at the others and they looked pretty calm, so I just kicked back. I didn't really mind what movie was playing. The important thing was that I was out of the house and away from work.

It was the end of the show when I finally asked,"I thought we were supposed to watch Willy Wonka?" Apparently, Willy Wonka was showing a bit late so they decided to watch The Island instead.

Ahh...

Anyway, about the show. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.

Many, many years ago I watched a nearly identical movie about clones who didn't know that they were clones. In that one, the winner of the "lucky" draw got to go to "America" instead of The Island. And the ending was very sad. Apparently, that movie was called Parts: The Clonus Horror. Ya, very B-like title.

One reason why I liked The Island was the more positive ending. I liked the story and the cast was pretty good, featuring Ewan McGregor (who spoke in a Scottish accent at one point. I liked that), Sean Bean in his regular bad guy role and Scarlett Johansson. She was good in Lost in Translation and good here too. I think she looked reaaally hot.

Overall, the movie is quite good with a fair amount of action, all done without taking itself too seriously and without too much CGI to detract from the story. I recommend it.

After watching this, I have very high hopes for the live action Transformers movie if Michael Bay really ends up directing that one.

Aside from movies, the weather today is beautiful, courtesy of the rain from the last two nights. No haze at all. Which is good. I remember the 1997 haze all too well. I remember the API being 800 and visibility being less than 30ft in broad daylight. It was bad.

Of course being the stubborn bastard I am, that night I went out with friends while the rest of the city cowered in terror in their homes

I don't miss the haze at all.

For those non-Malaysian people who read AFP's over excited coverage, the current haze isn't that bad and it didn't shut down the entire country, contrary to what some news articles have been saying. We're all fine here.

It's almost time to go home. I'm going to enjoy my break. Next week, we'll see whether blogging will be alluring again. And I need to bring my camera out. Hopefully the clear weather holds.

Have a good Sunday.

Have Not Done

Two things I haven't done lately.

1. Have not changed blog template despite wanting to for the last two months.
2. Have not uploaded any new pictures. Or any old pictures for that matter. In fact, I haven't taken any new pictures recently.

What I have been doing is entertaining myself with things like:-
1. Bad Star Wars captions. Courtesy of Raven.
2. Engrish!! One night me and Rin were at the computer when we decided to check out what's new at Engrish.com. We laughed so hard, we had trouble breathing.
3. Darwin Awards. If at any time you feel stupid, read stories from here and realize that they are more people stupider than you.

I've also started to play old games again. I'm currently playing Rome:Total War. I might reinstall Mechwarrior Mercenaries and Ghost Recon next.

Last night, me, Rin, Jerome and Gette went to Dennis' Place. For once, I didn't order something with chocolate in it.

Apart from work, things have been quiet lately. After this week, I hope things will get back to normal. I'm seriously rest deprived right now.

Regular picture taking and blog posting should resume by next week. Hopefully. Now I need to think of something exciting/interesting to write about.

Current Music - Nervously, Pet Shop Boys, Behaviour

Away Away

I'm just too busy right now to do anything at all.

I'll be staying off the blog at least until Tuesday. Too much work and too tired when I get home to think of what to write.

I hardly have to time to read other people's blogs. Or anything other online thing.

I hope weeks like this one aren't too common. It's hard.

I can't wait for Tuesday. Then I'll have some time to catch up with what's happening around here.

Until then, take care now.

More Shorts

Since my brain is still mush, I will refrain from writing long, long entries where I will get confused by the second paragraph.

Instead, I will write short things like the last time.

Actually, I do have many things I feel like I could comment on. Stuff like politics and religion and the like. But these things just piss me off. Suffice to say that regardless of what politicians say, I won't believe it until I see some kind of physical manifestion of their rhetoric. Especially around here.

I still believe that many local politicians don't know what's really happening in real life, otherwise they wouldn't keep talking about things that don't matter. Also, some of our politicians are well meaning and believe in things like fair play for all and meritocratic practises, but are being hamstrung by their grassroots supporters. That's the thing about democracy. It's a popularity contest. That means that if they are enough dumbasses in one political party, they will eventually vote for a dumbass and a sensible politician will be forced to pander to them lest he be voted out. Even if those dumbasses want to promote agendas that are dangerously racist....

Anyway, to the fun stuff.

I was doing my blogrounds just now and found some very cool sites, courtesy of Lainie. Who is always so cool like that.

Please go and check out Starship Dimensions. Very cool.

And Laws of Japanese Animation. Very, very funny. Having friends who are huge anime fans, I'm sure they have other rules they can come up with.

Do you have friends who drive like maniacs and think they are invulnerable or immortal. After visiting Ogrish (Warning: Extremely Gory and potentially disturbing) and Wrecked Exotics, they will not think so anymore. After all those pictures, I guarantee a speed reduction of at least 10km/h of their average speeds.

Also, Ogrish contains images from things other than car accidents. Like pictures of what happens when someone gets shot in the head by a .50 calibre rifle. Can you say eeeewww? Guaranteed to make wannabe terrorist assholes think twice about signing up.

And in some military news, the M1 Abrams main battle thing is undergoing a modernisation programme known as TUSK (Tank Urban Survival Kit). The funny thing about this "modernisation" is that some of the things have been done before. Like during the 1940s. Things like skirting and the external phone box? All been done before. I guess everyone just forgot how useful skirts are against things like man portable anti tank rounds. And the phone? I took it for granted that all tanks and armoured vehicle are supposed to have it. I read somewhere that part of TUSK is also the re-introduction of the CASE round. It's like shotgun cartridge, only bigger. It's a good idea, since shooting a man using a HEAT (High Explosive Anti Tank) round is kind of excessive. Kinda reminds me of Mechwarriors LBX cannon.

Anyone who knows military history will know that things get forgotten like that.

And in yet more mil news, I think the XM-8 looks fascinating. The XM-8 is the rifle that is slated to replace the good ole M-16 in the US armed forces. Check out the pic, looks very sci-fi eh?

That's for today's shorts. I'll dig up more interesting things next time.

A Fast One

I will leave for work in about 30 minutes so I'll make this quick.

I downloaded T'Pau's Greatest Hits a few days ago. That's very, very hard to find now. I'm enjoying it immensely. I wonder what Carol Decker's doing nowadays. Is she still alive?

I'm still not sure if my DVD writer can do double layer recordings. I have no time to explore. If it can, then I can start making copies of my Buffy stuff to back it up. I also need to start backing up my music before anything bad happens.

Work is killing me. I have no free time at all for the next week. Luckily, a colleague of mine has graciously offered to cover for me tomorrow if I cover him on Tuesday. At least I don't have to work so many days in a row. That also means I can chill out tomorrow.

The extra money from all the extra work had better be worth it. Actually it would, since my decades-old bed broke on me just now and I need to buy a new one.

My previous blog entry was very boring. Also, you may notice that my unkymood cartoon thingy has been stuck at "Just Here" for months now. I haven't been lazy, it's just the way I feel. It's a reflection of my current state, which is also very boring. I notice that lately, most of my entries have been rather dry.

Life at the moment is like that. Nothing exciting is happening. Nor is there any amount of distress or angst. No emotional highs or lows. I'm not sure, I may be dead inside at the moment. I can't say that I'm doing well, but things aren't getting worse. It's just.... like that, you know?

It's like dreamless sleep, it's just...blah.

One of my friends got married yesterday. Congratulations for the both of them. One less thing to worry about.

I can't wait till the middle of August, where hopefully things will quiet down at work and I can have my long breaks again.

Seven Swords and Such

Last night we went to see Seven Swords. It was a very long movie but quite good.

There's this thing about Chineses movies that I just noticed, especially those kung-fu epics. Mood shots. Long, slow mood shots of scenery, brooding people etc that are quite nice if done properly but get really old if overdone. They should cut back on that. It doesn't help with the story.

Like in Seven Swords. There were lots of scenes they could have just left out. It would've made the movie shorter.

That's my only complaint actually. It was a good movie. Kung-Fu movies rarely suck. Ok, sometimes they don't have much story but the action is always top knotch.

If you go to the website, it actually has more information than the movie itself, especially about the swords and main characters.

Earlier we went to this new eatery called Sri Shan Curry and Such. It serves South Indian dishes aka your typical mamak stall stuff plus some extras. Also very good. And very authentic. I will be back there soon.

The owner came by to our table and urged us to try their fish head curry, which was a very large serving for something that she considered "small". I hate to see the extra large one.

This week, I'm getting extra money. This is always good.

And I bought a new DVD writer.

Movies That Used to Be Other Things

I found something!

Transformers!!!!! A live action one!!!! Produced by Steven Spielberg!!! Who claims to be a big fan!!! Possibly directed by Michael Bay!!!!

Oh My God.

Click on the link and watch Steven Spielberg talk about it. If he's a fan like he claims, they'd better not make any "changes" to it. So far as I can tell, the movie will be Generation 1, when Optimus Prime was a big red truck, Megatron was a Luger, Bumblebee was a yellow Beetle and Soundwave was a walkman!

Please, please, please don't change anything! I'd faint if they turned Soundwave into an I-Pod.

I wonder who the cast will be. There's not much info yet. I'll be anticipating this movie and will be there when it comes out in 2007.

I can't wait to hear Optimus say,"Autobots, roll out!" Oh yeah. And of course, to hear Starscream say,"Decepticons, retreeeeeeeeat!!".

Heh.

Ok, now that I'm done with the fanboy stuff (for now..) there are quite a few more cartoon/comics/video game adaptions I want to watch on big screen actually.

Like Battletech:Mechwarrior for example. It has everything; giant robot action, conflict, politics, intrigue. Pass this to a good writer and it'll make one hell of a movie. Or better, a mini-series ala Band of Brothers. Ten episodes of Mechwarrior from the different perspectives of mechwarrior pilots, tank crews, politicians, civilians, Elementals and ground troops from all sides, Clan and Inner Sphere. It'd be awesome!

I'm not alone in wanting to see more crossover stuff like this done. Go on IMDB and somewhere (I think it was on the Doom forum) you will find discussions about Half Life and Half Life 2 movies. It would make a nice movie too.

But the problem with Hollywood is the "changes" they like to make, ostensibly to appeal to non-fans.

Witness that horrible Wing Commander movie. I'd like to see this movie remade. The original was aweful. It had so many changes, it was unrecognisable.

They'd better not touch my Transformers! But I have faith in Spielberg. Changes or not, at least the quality of the film will be good, at least. And if Michael Bay is directing, I expect lots and lots of explosions.

Another series of games that would make a good movie/miniseries would be the Baldur's Gate series. Ahh, Baldur's gate. I still say it's the best ever role-playing game I've ever played on PC. Great epic story. It might be as good as Lord of The Rings and miles ahead of that crapo Dungeons and Dragons thing they tried. It was very poor and as an ex Dungeons and Dragons player, I was horribly disappointed.

I also think it's about time someone made a Warhammer 40K movie. A live action one would be nice but a CG one would do as well. As long as the story is "canon" and well written. Fans of Warhammer would never settle for something not canon, that much I can say.

There's a hell of a lot of stuff I want to see made into movies and miniseries. If I were to make a list, it would be endless. No matter what it is, the nicest part of all this speculation is the topic of casting. Like nights when we talk about stuff like a GI Joe and Sabre Rider. Who'll play who?

I wish I could remember those conversations, then maybe I'll be able to put the cast list here. It's fun. Try it. Pick a favourite cartoon/comic/game and try and cast it. Hours of fun guaranteed.

I Don't Know What To Call This Post

I'm having some trouble writing. I think this is what people call writer's block. It's a bitch. I've written some drafts but I'm having trouble being focussed and lucid. Everything I write just seems to ramble all over the place.

Because of that, I should stay away from current issues right now. I could misquote someone and that's bad you know.

So instead I will write about what I've been doing as opposed to what I've been thinking, which isn't much at all. I haven't been introspective in a while.

I'm quite pleased to find a rare album on one of the torrent sites I frequent. I found Warrant's 1990 album Cherry Pie! Most people nowadays probably don't know who the hell Warrant are. They're glam rock so I'm not so surprised. I'm not really a big fan, but that album has songs that mean a lot to me. So I'm pleased.

Also quite pleasing was something I did on Thursday night. I went to hang with some friends at their house and ended up jamming the whole night. Right now, the fingers on my left hand are killing me. I'm haven't played guitar that long for a long, long time.

As usual with our impromptu acoustic jams, a lot of the songs come from school days. Stuff like Bon Jovi and a whole lot of other rock bands from that time. Lots of mid nineties music too, like Gin Blossoms. And of course, some old school Malay rock ballads. They don't write stuff like that anymore.

I would like to do this a lot more often, if I can. Music is such a relief.

Another interesting thing happened that night. I received SMSes from someone whom I used to fancy quite a bit last year. Apparently she's bored and unemployed and wants to hang out.

I've decided not to. I didn't tell her that though. It would be awkward and quite possibly end up dredging up painful memories. I guess it's my turn to do something other women have done with me. I'm going to play the drifting away game. I feel bad about it, really. In the past, I used to believe that I was "better" than that and above rejecting others. I guess I'm not that high up.

Idealism is so annoying in it's naivete isn't it?

But let's face it, we're just too different to ever be anything more than acquaintances. I don't want to disappoint myself and at the same time I don't want to disappoint others. I got quite distressed the last time I was with her but that wasn't her fault. I'm not taking revenge or anything like that.

Last night for the first time in a while I actually wondered about getting into a relationship again. I thought about it and put a quick stop to the thoughts. I still think I'm in no shape to attempt such a potentially damaging thing. It's not I need it that badly anyway.

But I still have hopes that it might happen in the distant future, maybe. A solid relationship is nice I hear. I wouldn't know, I've never been in one.

Anyway, that is on the back burner for now. I still have other things to do.

And now, please excuse me while I download Cherry Pie.

Current Music - Ender will Save Us All - Dashboard Confessional , The Swiss Army Romance

Anonymous

I remember a conversation a while ago about publicity and blogging. This was in the wake of the Sarong Party Girl controversy and those bloggers who made the Star article.

I wouldn't reveal my name or my url. I'll be totally anonymous, if I ever make the paper. Actually, I have made the paper a few times in the last few months, but nothing related to blogging. I didn't reveal my real name either.

Last year, I'd probably reveal my name and url with glee. How things change eh?

When it comes to mainstream media, I'd rather avoid the publicity because inevitably, it brings some negative attention. Sure, I should stand firm and ignore the trolls and brickbats who try to bring me down and accuse me of all kinds of attention seeking.

And people should learn to forge ahead and ignore cynical criticism. The question is, is all that crap worth it? Is the juice worth the squeeze?

I like my blog, but I'd rather not make it cause any unnecessary stress. Unnecessary, that's the point. For a worthy cause or a good reason, I can take quite a bit of shit. Entertaining other people's petty jealousies and narrow mindedness is not a good enough reason.

And there's so many people who are still too conservative and too narrow minded in this country. Too many. And for that reason, I honestly think that unfortunately, Malaysia is not ready for full blown free speech. Too many people still too busybody. Too many people still can't leave well enough alone. Too many people can't respect other people's opinions. Too many people can't agree to disagree and live and let live.

But when blogging's concerned, let's not let that stop us from doing it. I know I won't. I think as the older generation dies out and the youth take over, society will gradually open up. That is, if the youth don't let their older mentors poison them with ultra conservatism. Or for that matter, ultra liberalism.

I don't like it either way. I don't like extreme views. I took a political compass test once. The result says, I'm a left centrist. I'm liberal, but I'd be comfortable with some measure of control. I want freedom of expression, use it and endorse it, but not when it becomes an instrument of hate and division. To incite hatred on religious or racial grounds or any other lame excuse is not an acceptable use of freedom of expression. And I think the government should ease up on censorship, which borders on silliness right now. At the same time, excessive violence and porn has no place on primetime.

I think I may have gone astray topicwise. But this kind of thing makes a good topic for discussion actually, I think.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, no thank you to negative publicity. So, I'll stay happily anonymous. No need for me to worry about that actually, it's not as if this blog is good enough for the papers and other mainstream media. It's just me being myself. No controversy (I hope). Nothing to see here.

Fame is one of those things that look good on paper. And like all things good on paper, it ain't all that good most of the time.

Fantastic Four

This month is quite irritating in the way that I have to work on Sundays until the middle of the next month at least.

This morning was one of those mornings when my head is filled is ideas of what to write about. Unfortunately, I always seem to get really good posting ideas while I'm driving. When I'm not driving, I forget what I want to say.

It's irritating.

Also I had another long, long day at work. Doesn't help with blogging, when you're mind is a little fractured due to the fatigue.

Like on Sunday. I went to watch Fantastic Four with Rin and Soph. I had to concentrate really hard to keep up with the conversation over dinner.

Lucky for me, the movie was great. It's a good adaptation. Of course, like all comics based movie there will be those who moan. But it's good. Trust me on that. Go and watch it. And I didn't snicker at Jessica Alba for a change. Actually, there was a time when I actually liked Jessica Alba, circa Dark Angel.

And then she did that horrendous Sleeping Dictionary. The very next day, I saw a Dark Angel episode trailer. I giggled. And have giggled ever since then, everytime I see her.

She's quite good as Sue Storm. I didn't think she could pull it off. And Chris Evans was hilarious as The Human Torch. Anyone who saw Not Another Teen Movie would know that he's quite good at being funny. I liked that movie.

The rest of the cast was pretty good too. My only gripe is that Dr. Doom didn't look threatening enough.

All in all, a fun movie that I actually wouldn't mind watching again.

In other news, there is no other news really. There's still not much happening with all the work I have to do.

I may have some comments to make on some things I read in the paper, but I'll do that when I'm less tired.

Have a good night.

Anniversary Thoughts

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 32.

Earlier this year I had expected to have a hell lot of things to write about on my birthday. I had expected to have a hell of a lot of things to rant about, my life et al.

Apparently not.

I haven't been posting as much as I used to lately. I'm not in any kind of discomfort, that's one reason. Tis true that pain helps create, that much I can say.

I'm in a strange place. Definitely, I've gotten too used to being unhappy about things, to the point that I'm not really sure what to do when I'm not unhappy.

Why was it so bad before? Where did all that angst go? To think, nothing's really changed, except maybe how I see things and how I feel about them. I guess that's enough. Maybe it's enough to change how you see and not necessary to change the world just to make things a little better for yourself? Looks like it so far.

So what's the what for the rest of the year, until I'm 33? Who knows? And it doesn't bother me at all, finally. There really is nothing that I should worry about. I need to get used to that.

I had a good year. And this blog, so influential in almost everything I do. I met a lot of good people through it. It helped solve a lot of internal problems. It helped me see things, see myself and my surroundings in a different way. I think if I didn't blog, I would still be sad. I'm certain that would be the case.

I look forward to what's to come, big or small. The future doesn't scare me as it used to. It could bring wholesale changes or no changes at all. Either way, it's fine by me.

I think this is what it means to cross the line.

To all my friends who came for dinner last night, thank you so much. I had a great time.

Current Music - Wow, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

A Comment About Music

Just got back from an evening with some old friends at The Crib. Reminiscing can be fun. We talked about school days and the times we had in the school choir.

That was a great time then. Music was a big thing back then. We organised concerts and played in bands. Me with my ho-hum abilities managed to get in two bands simultaneously. I played drums. And occasionally second guitar. And sometimes bass. I sang back up vocals too. I can sing decently enough but I never had the balls to actually front a band. That takes a hell of a lot of confidence.

I miss those days. I miss them even more now when I was browsing through Jacob Sagan's daughter's website. Shal's got something here. Check the "Message in the Bottle" video clip. I love how Kuching makes an appearance in it. The video is pretty decently made too.

She's Kenyah. That makes her very unique.

I might actually be intrigued enough to get her CD.

My brother's band have cut their album and it should be out soon. It's quite interesting. It's in Iban with a contemporary feel. Some of the songs are in English. That's unique too. No one else have ever had the same song in Iban and in English. They have three, I think.

I hope they do well. I know the guys (and girl) in the band and I hope they do well. They are nice people.

I got some things to say about the local (by that, I mean in Sarawak) music scene. The underground appears to be doing alright, with many indie artists coming out with some really good stuff. The Iban music scene, I'm really not into. In my opinion, a lot of Ibans still can't stomach listening to their own language in a different genre like R n B, pop and alternative. A few people have tried but not much joy there.

I don't really get why. Maybe they can relate to that more than I can. Having said that, there are some that I sometimes listen to, like Jerry Kamit. He's a sape player and he's good. Unfortunately, I missed his appearances at the just concluded Rainforest World Music Festival.

Anyway, about Iban music.

We're still stuck in time, all the stuff is the same old dangdut, joget stuff. Good for parties, but not much else. There's just too much of the same stuff recycled over and over again. I especially hate it when people take a song, sing it in a local language and rerelease it. It's just embarassing.

So far with my brothers band, I know a lot of college students dig them, I think mainly because they're more familiar with the newer genres.

One day, I hope to see an Iban lass pick up a guitar and write music that speaks to a more modern part of Iban society, the younger urban one whose struggles are different from their rural parents. I think our music should reflect more on our continuing evolution.

Some purists hate newer Iban music because it's too "western" and they accuse those people who try something new of having forgotten their roots. That's utter bullshit and smacks of closed mindedness.

When the ETB album comes out officially, I'll be plugging it here. ETB is my brother's band by the way.

And if one day, an Iban girl comes out with an alternative genre album with music about urban life, I'll plug her too.

Meanwhile back at home, I've gotten a little better at playing lately. I haven't played all that much but at least now I'm trying to play more by ear rather than reading and memorizing tabs. I gotta make it a point to play more. If only I had the discipline to do it.

And talking about music, I'm going to resume with the updating of my music collection. A lot of CDs have to be ripped and a lot of the tracks in my collection have no ID3 tags.

Excuse me, now I must go and test some of Shal Sagan's sample tracks.

Current Music - Sidewalks, Story of the Year, Page Avenue

Back from the Jungle.

I slept the entire day. I enjoyed it, even though usually I don't like it when that happens usually. I just came back from an exhausting weekend.

We went to Camp Permai for the weekend, ostensibly to watch the World Rainforest Music Festival. In reality, I wanted to get away from town and just relax. In fact, I think in our group of six, I can say for certain that relaxation and getting away was for the point.

Since we did say that we wanted to watch the show, we did get tickets for Saturday. It was fine. It was brilliant, but it didn't suck either. The only thing that sucked was the venue I guess. For something as big scale as RWMF, the Sarawak Cultural Village and it's surrounding accommodations is just to small for it. Especially parking. Aside from music of many varieties, I managed to experience the longest 2 km drive I've ever had. That wasn't fun.

Unfortunately, aside from recommending the construction of a giant multistory parking lot that would be mostly empty the other 362 days of the year, I don't have any suggestions.

The bigger point of the weekend was us doing nothing at all and not having any kind of itinerary to follow. And the place where we stayed in, had nothing in the way of facilities, which didn't bother us one bit.

We talked about how some people go to the beach, book a hotel room and stay in that room to watch TV for the duration of their stay. Seems quite wasteful to me actually.

If anyone wants to watch TV at a resort, don't come to Permai. If anyone wants tranquility and peaceful surroundings, Permai is perfect. I love the way the it was built. Minimal modern conveniences. And it's cheap too.

We didn't do much at all while we were there. We talked, drank a little. We went to the Jungle Pool and sat in the cold water. We played Monopoly and blackjack.

One more good thing about Permai is that the cabins, tree houses and other facilities are built apart from each other. So unlike Damai Lagoon or Holiday Inn Damai Beach, there were no annoying sugared up hyperactive kids and their annoying anal retentive parents who complain about other guests and the "noise" they make.

A tip, do not bring young children to Permai, the place is kinda dangerous for kids. Rocks, big trees, roots, water. They could break something if they fall or they could get seriously lost in the jungle.

Everything was so quiet and we felt like we were there all alone. Sure there were other guests, but everyone was just chilling out.

I think the next time we go there, we'll just go there specifically to hang out, no need for any other reason.

And I also need to stop referring to Permai as a "beach resort". It ain't. It's a jungle retreat, which I'm actually beginning to like more than the beach.

I had a good time. And tomorrow, I rejoin the rat race.

But I will return soon, that I can promise.

Not Saying Much

I had an awful, awful night at work.

I was pottering around in the office when out of nowhere I was assaulted by the most painful stomach cramping I've ever experienced in my entire life. I feel a little better this morning, but that was very, very unpleasant.

I think I should watch what I eat for awhile.

I bought Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 7 last week and I must say, season 7 is the most boring one of the lot. A lot of the humour is gone and everyone's too powerful and businesslike. Nothing like the heady days of Seasons 2 and 3. I guess they stopped doing the show at the right time, before Buffy jumped the shark. That would be the worse thing that could happen to my Buffy.

I'm going out later to buy Season 6. Then my collection will be complete.

I miss those days when I would wait for new episodes to come out of the Buffyverse. It's great when there's something to look forward to like that.

Actually there are things to look forward to. Movies are coming out. Like King Kong. I think I'll enjoy that one. Jack Black's in it. And Peter Jackson's directing. And Gollum!

Hopefully this week will be good. I'm on a very long 5 day weekend.

Not a very long post today. Not much to say, really. But that's a good thing, I think.

Nothing Happening Here

I'm finding it quite difficult to write these days. It's not because there's nothing to write about. There are always things to write about. I don't know, I'm feeling very unmotivated somehow.

Am I all blogged out, like they say? Might be. I was thinking about that on the way to work just now, and I thought maybe everything that I wanted to say has been said. Maybe.

Or maybe I'm just being lazy again.

But I'm not going to let lack of initiative stop me from writing.

I was playing Grand Theft Auto just now and I suddenly had an idea. Despite having a camera, I've been too tied up with other things to take photos. I don't take nearly enough.

Well, if I can't take enough photos in real life, I was thinking maybe I should take photos in GTA to make up the numbers.

You see, CJ, the lead character in GTA has many items at his disposal. You know the usual street thug stuff. Knives, guns and the like.

He also has a camera.

And so there I was in the morning, running around Los Santos with a camera taking random pictures, much the same way I do in real life. I took a nice photo of a Fire Dept helicopter (a very nice Blackhawk copy that I've not seen before) at the airport. Also, I have good pics from the top of Mount Chilliad. I'll post that later.

So, I'm thinking if I can't post pictures taken in and around Kuching, I'll post pictures taken in San Andreas. I know this sounds terribly geeky. But it'll be interesting and it'll allowed non-gamer types to see what a breathtaking job the game makers have done.

In other news, there's not much to say.

Everything's quiet around here. I'm not in any kind of turmoil. I was thinking about doing a "this is boring" post, but then I decided not to complain for a change.

Although not as good as being blissfully happy, peace and quiet is still better than being sad and depressed.

I guess I'm a little better at dealing with things than I was before. Very recently, a very young friend of mine got engaged. For once, I did not react badly.

Sure, I felt kinda bummed. I still feel like I'm being left out. Sure, at the time it felt like I was a loser who can't get chicks.

But I didn't dwell on it, at least I tried not to. That made a lot of difference. Instead of moping and wondering why I can't do the same things my other friends can, I just tried to stop thinking about it.

I really don't have a good reason to feel bad about this anymore. It's not like I'm looking for a partner anymore anyway.

Oh yes, I suddenly feel compelled to say that even though some people think that I'm seeing someone, I'm not. Still single here.

There's nothing happening, not with her and not with anyone. Not now and not anytime soon.

The Weekend

We watched War of The Worlds last night. It was very good. I enjoyed. Surprisingly enough, I could hear people in the back saying the movie sucked.

Well, what can you say?

Suddenly now I have the urge the look for the original movie. Been a long time since I saw it. I didn't realize how old that movie was until just now.

I think someone should remake Clash of The Titans. With today's technology, it would be great.

The next movie I'm looking forward to is another remake; The Amityville Horror. It looks quite promising. Ryan Reynolds is in it. I like him.

In other news, I bought an optical mouse! For only RM18 (USD4 something). Very very cheap! Unfortunately, I couldn't find the soundcard I was looking for. I could find SB Audigy2, which cost too much.

I will look for it next week.

And talking about next week, something went wrong with our Holliday Inn booking for next weekend. The dates were right, but the Holliday Inn was wrong. Since Damai is booked solid, we're looking for alternatives, one of which is where we would book ONE suite with three rooms instead of three separate rooms. Works just as well, but let's hope we can get a room.

If we don't, looks like we'll just have to miss Rainforest World Music Festival again. Damn.

I had a fine weekend. For me personally, it was nice. For others, not so much. But I'm just chilling and it's fine.

My birthday is this month. Damn.

Also, must remember to update mp3 collection. Lots of new stuff.

Drift!!

I'm tired.

It's been a long, long couple of weeks. Fortunately, we managed to squeeze one month's work into two weeks, so I can take it easier for awhile.

Went and saw Initial D just now. I'm telling you, as far as racing movies are concerned, this one leaves the rest far behind. It was excellent. The Fast and The Furious? Hah! Inferior.

No, it didn't have much of a story. It's anime, only life action, so the storyline is your typical anime story. Which is just fine in my books. I haven't really watched the anime version so I don't know how close this one is to the original.

I must say that in order to really enjoy this movie, one must have at least a passing interest in cars, racing and drifting. Those drift shots were awesome. You just have to see for yourself.

I think I enjoyed this movie most of all because all the cars in the movie can be found cruising the streets right here in Kuching. Toyota Levin/Sprinter Trueno (my neighbour has the exact same model, AE86), Nissan Skyline R-33, Mazda RX-7, Mitsubishi Lancer EVO IV, all familiar cars. And none of the cars were too blinged out either. It made the movie feel really authentic. I've seen many of these cars race right here in my own back yard. But drag racing, instead of drifting. I'm not sure whether Kuching has a drift scene yet.

I can imagine how much reconditioned Truenos will be worth now. I just read that Toyota is actually considering reviving their Trueno/Levin line due to healthy sales of used Truenos in Hong Kong and Japan. All because of a movie/manga/anime series.

The one thing I didn't like about the movie was the half baked romance between the lead, Takumi and Natsuki. That did very little to advance the story. It was actually quite annoying because I felt like it got in the way of more drifting action.

I think I'll load up Need for Speed Underground 2 again and pick up the Toyota Corolla GT-S, which is what it's called in the US.

All in all, I loved Initial D. I wonder what Fast and Furious III would be like. Yes, the movie wasn't even released yet and someone in Hollywood was already planning a rip off. Set in Japan, drift scene, Initial D fans will find the setting familiar.

In other news, I've been rivetted to my monitor at the office by the awesome Crime Library. Note in particular the impressive serial killers section.

I guarantee a fascinating read.

Now, I must go dig my Need For Speed Underground CD and practise drifting. This weekend, I might go and catch War of The Worlds. Should be a good movie, Tom Cruise notwithstanding.

The Things I Did Today

Some of the blogs I like to read contain mostly details about what the writer did on a particular day. I like it. There's a lot of negativity and gravity on the Net, so it's good to read something nonsensical and light. It's a balancing thing.

It might seem like such a mundane thing, writing about what happened today when nothing really important happened. It isn't, not when written with flair and skill. There are some really good writers out there. If you're writing about what the cat did today or what some guy said in the office and make it sound interesting, you must be good.

This is one thing that I'm not so good at. I can rant and whine and complain until the cows come home, but I can't really write your "typical" journal entry with any kind of flair yet. This is why writing is an art, I guess. Some people do it naturally, others have to practise and some others can't do it at all.

It would be quite nice to be artistically eloquent on paper (online?).

So, what I must learn is how to write descriptively, without the need for a heavy subject matter. Just everyday stuff. I think the ability to describe is the key. Maybe if I can get the hang of that, I can write things like stories? Maybe even lyrics. Who knows?

I think the fact that I don't really read fiction might have something to do with that. I've read thousands of books so far but less than a dozen are fictional, I dare say. I read history, technical stuff, general interest books on militaria, and science, things like that. I don't really read novels, poetry and stories.

Maybe that's why.

And while we're talking about art, I think I know what to buy during the next PC fair. I need a soundcard that can change the pitch/key of songs, like a Soundblaster Live!. I was playing around with the guitar this morning, and while I was trying to write down the chords of some songs, I find that a lot of them are downtuned one or two steps.

I supposed I could detune my guitar but that's so troublesome. It's easier if I can uptune the song to match my guitar. And I can't be arsed to manually transpose everything. It's such a pity that my old SB Live died on me last year.

Nevertheless, it's good to have a good guitar again. This morning I was trying out some of the stuff from the Punk Goes Acoustic album. Mostly do-able, but need to transpose. Almost all the bands were using either drop-D or Eb tuning. So inconvenient to change the keys everytime I want to play it using standard tuning.

I tried to play songs like Open Hand's Time To Talk, Yellowcard's Firewater (difficult, fast chord changes), Sugarcult's Memory (very easy), Finch's Letters To You (slow acoustic jam as opposed to the fast electric version) and Cute Without The E (Cut from The Team), which is so very nice. And a few others.

Pop fans would probably not know any of these songs. Oh, and before anyone criticizes my choice of practise material, I'm sorry but pop/emo punk is fun at least to me. I know it's whiny and pathetic sounding but I like it and can relate to a lot of it.

Now, why do I always get defensive when I admit to liking the music that I like? That's a good question. I admit, sometimes I feel self conscious because of it. Why? I don't know.

Anyway, I'm quite busy today so I must go now.

Current Music - Playing Favorites, The Starting Line, Punk Goes Acoustic

Guitars and What Not to Tell a Blogger

I finally got my guitar back! It's as good as new and sounds fantastic with new strings and frets. Actually, it's not my guitar. It's my brothers, but since he didn't really take care of it and since I paid a fortune for repairs and cleaning, I'm claiming it. I think that's fair don't you?



As pricey Lee's Music Centre is, their workmanship cannot be denied. They cleaned it and polished it up so well, the guitar looks and feels brand new! I wish I had taken a "before" picture of the guitar so we can see how dirty and dusty it originally was. Poor guitar, stuck in a store like that all by itself.

Not anymore. Plus, now that I got a decent instrument again I expect to play a little more now. I'm thinking about sending the other guitar out for maintenance. The neck needs a bit of adjustment because right now, the action (the distance between the strings and the fingerboard) is a little high. I can do it myself, but I lost the allen key that came with the guitar and I can't get a replacement key because I don't remember what size it was.

I suddenly thought about the general welfare of musical instruments.

I bet in many homes across the country, there are high quality musical instruments being neglected by their owners who are either too busy to play them or too ignorant of their true value. Makes me sad. I bet some of these are classic antiques worth thousands!

Such a shame. I suggest that people who have neglected instruments sell them. Maybe someone else will take care of it more. That is, if they're not attached to them. It's very, very natural and easy to get attached to a musical instrument. Notice how so many people name their guitars and refer to them as "she"?

There was a time when MTV Asia held a contest as a promo for the movie School of Rock,which I thought was a great movie by the way. The prize? A Gibson SG electric signed by Jack Black (!). In my entire life, that was the first time I submitted an entry for a competition organized by MTV.

I didn't win.

From time to time, I wonder where that guitar is right now. Is it being used as it should, in jam sessions and shows somewhere in South East Asia? Is it being kept as a souvenir (which is fine, as long as its cleaned and kept in working order)? Or was it won by a non-musician who has no flair or interest for music and is now rotting in a closet somewhere in suburbia? I hope not.

That's a damn fine guitar. I hope whoever owns it now will look after it.

And while I'm on about music, I really should play more. A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with some friends when we had an impromptu jam sessions. I was rusty as hell and couldn't really keep up. It's embarassing and sad.

In other news, I hear the PPS Bash was a great success. Accounts of it can be read here and here, complete with many pictures.

And in yet more news, remember that post where I wondered how long would it be before the moral guardian wannabes start mouthing off? Well,..

..ta-da!

I have said before that blogging is a free for all with no rules, but there is one line that should never be crossed.

No one has any right to tell a blogger what to write or how to write.

That would just kill of the very spirit of blogging. What is blogging if not freedom of expression? Especially for us Malaysians, where freedom isn't as free.

Disagree and express your disagreement with anything you see in a blog, but never ask a blogger to retract or rewrite a post. Never dictate the writing style of a blog. That's just not on.

I understand that some people, especially parents, may be concerned that blogs may not be suitable for the younger crowd. Fine, that is acceptable. However, it is not acceptable to urge a blogger to be "responsible" and to be "decent". Do not ask bloggers to think of kids and other people who may be offended or "influenced".

That's not our job. There are far worse things on the Internet than blogs. Trust me on that.

As far as I'm concerned, the responsiblity to prevent kids from accessing unsuitable things on the internet falls on their parents and guardians. They should regulate what their kids see, not people who blog. Do you see porn sites close down because their webmasters are worried that kids might reach them? No. Why not?

Because it's not up to them to prevent kids from accessing their material, that's why.

I hope the whole thing doesn't blow out of proportion and reach the government. The last thing we need now is blogging control. If that happens, I would not know what to do then.

Unfortunately, knowing how some people are in this country and the way the government works, I wouldn't be surprised if it does eventually happen.

Diss

I'm so bloody knackered now it's unbelievable. The last two days at work, also unbelievable. Twelve hours of it a day, non-stop.

I so wish I had the energy to go out...

And yesterday, I went to read some blogs and I had this nice blog post all planned out, something about the fallout of the two news articles about Malaysian bloggers. And the Sarong Party Girl hype.

I had a long post planned out too. But as luck would have it, work got in the way. As an indication of just HOW much work we're talking about, we actually had to call for extra help from a vendor on top of the guy on duty AND two other guys on overtime, including myself.

Since I'm tired I'm going to make this short(ish).

Before I go on, yes I am aware that people are allowed an opinion on everything. I am also aware that it's perfectly acceptable to react to an opinion. I find it less acceptable for people to dish it out and act all shocked when people react to the dishing out. What can one expect when one disses someone else?

So, for all those people who want to diss, if you can't stand the return fire, don't start a firefight. Even if it is online.

I could probably use this advice meself.

Diss me directly or indirectly, I diss you back. Can't deal wit dat ? Then shut the hell up, biatch!

Anyways, I read with some disgust how some people once again, dismiss blogging as a "fad" if it's not something about news and current events and politics. So what's that mean ? That in order to be "relevant", a blogger isn't allowed to post shit about their life or their cars or chicks or whatever else they want to say?

I bet these people don't have blogs themselves. Do the math. Would you trust a person who doesn't play or watch football to make the rules? So what gives these guys the right to dictate the ways and means of blogging?

Ok ok granted people can diss bloggers as a frivolous bunch with too much time on their hands. It's an opinion, that's fine. The insulting pseudo intellectual remarks? Not fine? Not all bloggers are attention whoring teenagers, okay.

Whose to say what matters and what doesn't? Do all people prioritise the same thing? What are we? Sheep? It's my time and since this blog is about me then it's important to me. And so what if it ain't "relevant".

Why does every damn thing we do need to be "relevant" anyway?

I'm not blogging to start a revolution. I blog just for fun and to bitch about things. Like these dumbasses for instance.

You know? They're right. Riding the Mellow and probably 95% of the blogs I read aren't relevant. These blogs don't bring world peace or create awareness of some critical current issue (however sometimes we do weigh in with our USD0.02) or to fight for some cause.

So what if bloggers don't make the world a better place. We don't have to, it's not our job to do any of that.

Looking for "relevance"? Then what the hell are these people doing poking their noses at blogs like mine and those blogs mentioned in the paper the other day?

Wrong place buddy. Looking for shit? Go to a toilet and leave the rest of us on our front porches.

PS. Just in case there's any misunderstanding, I'm NOT dissing the more serious blogs. They're doing a good thing and are good to read. More power to them.

I'm just saying that it's a little to much to expect every blog out there to be like Screenshots, that's all.

Blogging in the News and Some Other Internet Stuff

I've just received some groan-worthy news. Because of some really big thing that's going to happen at work, I'll be extremely busy. I'll have to work one or two extra days a week, starting this week.

For the next one and a half months....

Dammit. The extra money had better be worth it. Depending on how pissed off I am at the end of that period, I'm going to buy something unnecessarily expensive for myself.

However busy I become, at least my boss was kind enough to let me go to RWMF in July. At least I don't have to make any changes to those plans.

And speaking of Rainforest, I might actually just hang at the hotel instead of watching any of the events. I'm actually more interested to people-watch on the day. We'll see what happens.

I'm going to put up a few links before I forget.

First of all, Malaysian bloggers made the news yesterday. Positive news too. This is probably going to sound cynical, but now I'm going to see how long it takes before some moral guardian wannabe starts talking about how blogging is "bad" because no one has any real control over it.

I wish I was kidding, but everyone knows this country is rife with assholes like that. Anyone taking any bets before they start making noises ?

Negativity and cynicism aside, I'm quite please with the local blogging community. It's lively and can be quite influential at times. It's a whole lot better than some other forms of online community that much I can say.

When it comes to blogging, I'm sure a lot of us have read or heard some misgivings from some quarters about things like style or content or the reasons behind blogging or even the perceived behavior of the average Malaysian blogger as opposed to a foreign one. As much as this form of elitism and prejudice irks me, everyone is entitled to a say. Even the trolls.

So what do I say about blogging ? Blog away, for whatever reason. Blog to provide an alternative source of news. Or to talk about life. Or cars. Or sports. Or nothing at all even. Blog just for the hell of it. Or to look for new friends. Maybe find some old ones.

There are no set rules for blogging. The Internet is the new Wild West. You make your own rules.

So go ahead and start a blog, if you haven't already. Don't knock it until you try it. And don't feed the trolls.

In other news, Marina Mahathir came up with another gem of a column. Check it out. When it comes to interracial relations, I guess we, the general public, need to be reminded that our society isn't like what some of our beloved out-of-touch political figures would want us to believe.

It's a good thing to remember.

Finally, last week I found two very good articles about the SUV culture. Good reads, here and here. Now before anything else, I would like to say that I am not biased against people owning SUVs. It's just a vehicle after all. But I do have some problems with SUV drivers who don't give a shit about the rest of the people around them, just because they're bigger and higher.

Drive around town and you'll see what I mean. They are a lot of people who can't drive out there, and some of the worse (try to) drive SUVs. Watch yourself and be careful now.

Somehow, I'm quite certain I'm not the only one who notices bad behaviour among SUV drivers.

Right, it's lunch now. Gotta go. It's going to be a long day today.

*Today was such a busy day, this post took five hours to write.

PS : Reminder, I need to update my blog roll.

Eye of The Beholder

"I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.
I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense..
Let me in, let me in to the club, cause I wanna belong,
And I need to get strong, and if memory serves,
I'm addicted to words and faces."

- LGFUAD, Motion City Soundtrack

There be times that I hear or read things that I find disturbing or offensive, especially when those things are related to me in some way.

But here I have a choice. I could respond and retaliate. Or I could just let it slide. I'm going to let it slide. I'm going to ignore that part of my psyche that screams,"Silence is an admission of guilt !!!" I don't need to deal with things like this. There will be none of that school yard you-hit-me-first-now-I-hit-you stuff going on here.

I guess I'm going to have to live with the fact that not everyone I meet is going to like me.

I mean, as a rule people are allowed to pick and choose who they associate with and are, as a rule, allowed to reject unsuitable "candidates", yeah ? And when people reject, for whatever reason, what can you say about that eh ? It's disappointing, but still an undeniable right.

No one is good enough for everyone. That's a fact. Unpleasant. But fact.

That's a funny part about being human. I can pick at, pass judgment and say no thanks to people whom I don't want to hang with. And I think it's fair. I feel it's my right. No offence.

And yet, when I find that people do the same to me, I feel slighted and offended. Yeah, I know. That's a double standard. My double standard. My fault.

Perhaps it's the need for validation from other people that causes that. That's something I need to deal with, however difficult it is to be completely self sufficient. It takes a great deal of conviction and confidence to be that way. It takes a lot to be ok in the face of rejection and criticism.

I guess I never really came to terms with the idea that I, by simply being myself, can rub others the wrong way. I never really accepted the fact that I can be less than what other people want or look for. It hurts the pride to be considered lacking and to know that to some, I'm not worth it.

To some people, I'm all kinds of bad. I may be too boorish or too opinionated or too lacking in tact and finesse. Maybe I'm too simple or too complicated. Perhaps I'm not artful and articulate enough for some people. And for others, maybe I'm not manly or hard enough. And to yet more people, maybe I'm simply too plain without any obvious charm.

To some people, maybe I'm alright. To others, I may not be so good. Or perhaps I'm just nondescript and ordinary for them.

I am a composite of many things, including flaws and shortcomings and more. I can't expect everyone to tolerate those, can I ?

It depends on how or what another person sees, their perception. Good ? Bad ? I cannot control what another person will notice when they see me.

Obviously, I haven't figured how much of myself do I need to change before I can be accused of selling out. Such a fine line isn't it ? What do you do, be true and stick to yourself or give face and try to change.

I'd like to be number one in everyone's book. That's just not possible. As long as people remain different from each other, that's not going to happen. No one can be everyone's friend. There will always be others who don't like what you think, what you do, what you say, what you feel and what you are, for whatever the reasons.

And so, rather than whining about how unfair and unpleasant it is, instead of lashing out and coming out with allegations of mistreatment, I'm going to try and accept it like it is instead. Not everyone is going to think I'm an ok person. That's a fact. No need to think of the whys and the how comes.

It's life and it's people. And that's just the way it is.

Awesome !

My connection is on the fritz again. I'm unable to certain websites and I can't post pictures. Last night I couldn't get online at all. Which is a shame because I wanted to put up a really cool Batman Begins poster.

We watched Batman Begins on Thursday. The verdict ? Absofragginglutely AWESOME ! Michael Keaton ? He ain't the real McCoy, Christian Bale is.

This version of Batman is so far superior to its predecessor, words fail me at the moment. I make a poor film reviewer.

I just knew that a darker, angrier Batman would work better than the Michael Keaton version, not that I didn't like that one. But I always felt that Bruce Wayne/Batman had a certain amount of anger motivating him. We get to see that here.

I like how plausible everything is in this movie. The way Bruce Wayne learnt his skills, how the gadgets work, why did he choose the bat as his totem creature, where did he get his armour and why super villains exist, all dealt with very, very convincingly. Christian Bale did a great job, but my favourite character is probably Michael Caine's Alfred.

He was magnificent. Which is more than I can say for some people. Like Katie Holmes. Her Rachel Dawes character was poorly used, almost the token female. They could've fleshed her out a bit more.

I was very impressed with the rest of the cast too, even the support cast. Look at it, Morgan Freeman, Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Ken Watanabe and Gary Oldman, who looked so vastly different from how he usually looks, I didn't know who he was. Anyway, that's what I call a powerhouse cast.

My only complaint has something to do with the fight choreography. Most, if not all of it was shot a little too close in. It would've been nice to see a wide shot of an alley with Batman fighting off three bandits at once.

I really, really want a sequel. I'm sure there will be.

A lot of movies to watch this next month or so. I'm very much looking forward to it. Next on the to-watch list are:-

• War of the Worlds
  
• Initial D
• Fantastic Four
• Unleashed

I'm sure I'm missed something. I'm also sure I'm going to enjoy them all.

In other news, this evil piece of entertainment software is threatening to engulf my life.

There are good games and there are awesome games. Grand Theft Auto : San Andreas absolutely rocks. This iteration of the game is SO huge, it will literally take months for me to complete.

Therefore, it's quite possible I won't be going out too much. And I might blog a little bit less.


In more news, Rin passed me some CDs with a lot of hard to find stuff like Letters to Cleo, Punk Goes Pop, Punk Goes 80s and a lot of other stuff. And Viggo Mortensen (?)

Am taking time off GTA and sorting through them now.

Same Person, Different People

I was on Torrentspy just now and what did I notice ? A torrent file for the Grand Theft Auto San Andreas PC version DVD. Is it really out for PC already ? How come I didn't know about this ?

Looks like it's time for another trip to the favourite computer games shop on Thursday. That means I'll be somewhere near Kuching Plaza around afternoon.

For those of us gaming fans who haven't played any GTA games before, why haven't you ? Are you nuts ?

Heh, just kidding. GTA is extremely violent and extremely politically incorrect. It's not for everyone. But seriously, there are good games and there are awesome games. Try anything in the GTA line up. Guaranteed fun.

What's not to love about a game that allows you to beat people up, steal cars, run over pedestrians and other things that could get you arrested in real life ? Yes, escapism is nice like that. With GTA, nice upstanding citizens like myself can indulge in our gangsta fantasies and not care.

Having said that, this new GTA is apparently going to be a lot harder than the previous one, since I read somewhere that they boosted the cops this time around. Should be interesting.

I'll find out when/if I buy the game.

I was supposed to write about something else entirely this morning.

I've got Yahoo Messenger and other chat software on my PC. I used to be quite excited about that, but I don't use them much anymore.

I've discovered that I've lost the ability to chat online.

I sound completely different from myself in real life. It's hard for me to decide what to say/type, especially when I'm trying to chat with someone I know. I get this strange case of acute writer's block. I become extremely boring. I have no idea why.

In real life, I'm much chattier than that, and hopefully much less boring. I've speculated and thought about why I'm so different on and offline, but I still don't know why.

And what of this blog ? I'm not sure. Do I sound like this in real life too ? Since it doesn't involve direct, real time interaction with other people, it's a lot less apparent to me. So once again, I can't say whether I sound like my blog in real life.

It's quite likely that I'm at least three different people, with at least two online personas and one offline one. Or maybe, three different sides of the same thing. So which one is the purest one ? Who is the real me ? Which one wears the most masks ?

I should go and ask and expert about this. Anyone know a good sociologist ? Or is that even the right person to ask ?

How true are we to ourselves when online anonymity is taken into account ? Or are we more true because of that anonymity ?

What do you think ?

Simplify

*Cracks knuckles*

Today is going to be quite a hectic day. Some people are on leave. So I cross my fingers and hope nothing major happens that require these people.

Apart from that, I'm going to take it easy today. Just routine stuff, nothing too experimental. The same goes for everything else.

I'm thinking about simplifying my life in general. I do notice that I tend to overthink nearly everything. It's quite exhausting.

So I'm going to take things at face value a lot more now. After all, not everything has hidden meaning and not everyone has an ulterior motive behind every question and every request. The whens, the whys and the wheretofores don't matter all the time. Funny how paranoia makes you think that way. I don't do any of that, and yet somehow I always suspect that everyone else is.

Victim mentality again, probably.

So, I'm going to pay less attention to the perceived threats in life and deal with actual things for a change. Also, leave the future in the future, the past in the past and now in the now. Whatever that means.

At least that's plan anyway. Am I going to do it or is all this just rhetoric ? Don't know yet. Whatever happens, I hope to be a little happier at the end of the day.

In other news, I'm feeling dry blogwise. I actually thought about taking time off from posting. But I'm not gonna set any limits. There is no way I can stay away from blogging without feeling anxiety. It's like cigarrettes, only it doesn't kill you.

Anyway, the real reason why I feel dry is that the introspection has dried up. Closure and acceptance does that. The price for that is a boring blog, I guess. Riding The Mellow will no longer be powered by angst. It's time to find a new power source.

Therefore, I might talk about games, movies and miscellaneous other things a lot more now. Maybe I'll write about other people. Or something else that's not directly related to me. I don't know yet.

Ok then, I must go back to work now. Have a nice day.

Letting Go

Since my last post, I got really busy and couldn't post anything. I was supposed to do some kind of introspective thing, but I can't really remember what it was supposed to be about.

I think it was something to do with letting go and growing up. Something like that. Don't you just hate it when you think of something quite profound to say and yet when you sit in front of the computer, the words won't come out ?

Sheesh.

Anyway, letting go and such.

Sometimes, when I get bored, I go read old blog entries and old comments, as a regular blogger often does I bet.

I should really stop regretting things that happened in the past and just get on with the rest of life. I should just accept that the so-called normal life that I want has eluded me. Time and age has made sure of that.

I should stop feeling like a disgruntled 20 year old trapped in an older person's body. I think I've gotten so used to being down in the emotional dumps, it feels strange to be out of it.

This letting go business is quite hard to do, apparently. It's not the first time I thought of such things. And yet, I fall back into familiar territory and start feeling bad about myself again. It's almost comforting when that happens. Hard habit to break, it is.

This is what victim mentality is, isn't it ? Am I using my so-called misfortune as an excuse not to try and move on ? Might be.

Pride can be very troublesome. It prevents me from making do. It makes me ask why I don't have what other people have. Stuff. Satisfaction. Relationship. Any number of other things. Yeah, I'm guilty of being overly proud sometimes. I feel like I deserve all the things that I want, and stamp my feet when I can't get them. I feel like the world owes me.

Whether or not the world actually owes me, that's not really the point is it ? I should realize by now that most of the things that happen to people happen to them whether or not they "deserve" it.

I thought about all that while I was playing my computer games and felt quite at ease. Things happen. Or sometimes, didn't happen when I wanted them to. Sometimes I was the one who messed things up. I made mistakes. I regret. I wish I could go and change and fix things more to my liking.

But no amount of wishing will change those things. I'll have to live with them.

Of course, what-if scenarios are quite fun to discuss, so I won't shy away from that. But perhaps now I can ask what-if and not feel guilty ?

And of course, sometimes I will put up one of those "oh woe is me" posts. I'd be very naive if I thought that things will change from now on. It's healthy to rant once in a while.

One last thing, just as a reminder. I should stop wanting things that are obviously bad for me. I should be brave enough to walk away from such things, no matter how enticing, regardless of the paranoia that I could be throwing something away. Certain things aren't worth the pain they can bring. The juice may be good, but sometimes is not worth the squeeze.

I am not a victim. I am not desperate.

Here endeth today's rather ambiguous post.

Current Music - Swing Life Away (Acoustic) - Rise Against, Punk Goes Acoustic

Some Game Stuff

There should be a picture here. I'll post one when I get home.

What a pleasant day. I'm at work and am about to go off soon, after only six hours on the clock. Six short hours. Six short OVERTIME hours I might add.

I did something for Wikipedia last night. I corrected, rearranged and cleaned up an entry about the Sichuan Invasion. It's not complete though, some of the original entry was incomprehensible gibberish. I'm also not entirely sure of it's historical accuracy.

The original entry was in pretty bad shape. It seemed like the original contributor took the info from a non-English source, put it through Babelfish and posted the results.

Posting on Wikipedia will have to wait while I try to master its formating style. I did start my P-47 Thunderbolt research though, I hope I can finish that someday. Imagine that, an entry in an encyclopedia written by me.

And now for some gaming news, so for those who aren't interested, you people can skip the next paragraph or so.

I downloaded and installed a very, very well done mod for Call of Duty : United Offensive. What it does is that it replaces all the ingame weapon sounds, made some corrections to the names of items, made all the weapons more realistically deadly and other minor cosmetic changes here and there. The new sounds are superb. I suspect that some of the sounds were taken off Saving Private Ryan. That's just fine by me.

Long rifles (bolt action and semi auto) now kill with one shot in head or torso or cause a lot of damage if other areas of a body are hit. Sub-machine guns can kill with short burts, two to three hits. Light and heavy machine guns are so deadly now, they post a real tactical problem as opposed to just being mildly annoying, pre-mod. This time around, the MG-42 canvas ripping sound makes me flinch. As in real life. That thing tears people apart in milliseconds now.

Grenades are properly done now too. The German stick grenade does half the damage as the Allied pineapples. The mod also removes the crosshairs. I found this to be a lot of fun. Now I need to use iron sights a lot more and hip shooting is only practical at short range.

I appreciate historical accuracy in my shooting games. Adds to the atmosphere.

And finally, a little bit of introspection.

I'll do this later when I'm at home.

Let's Wiki !

"Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way"

- How to be Dead, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

Guess what my current favourite song is ?

Oh man, that song is absolutely brilliant. Snow Patrol rocks ! I love their lyrics.

Aside from that, there is a new hobby I'm contemplating.

At work, I've been spending a lot of time perusing through entries at Wikipedia. A free encyclopedia, what a brilliant idea !

I've been reading articles on things relating to World War 2, history, battle details, machinery, units involved, etc. I found quite a few entries that are either non-existent or incomplete.

I have many, many books on World War 2. Included in some of those books are details about these very same incomplete entries.

I'm thinking about contributing. Yes ! Then I can pretend to be all scholarly and borrow my dad's reading glasses.

I also have other references at home that I could use to flesh out other stuff on Wiki. Like details of the legendary P-47 Thunderbolt. And German U-Boat classes. And many others.

Encyclopedias are fun. I grew up reading one. I learn how humans reproduce through it. Talk about getting to the source.

I notice that a lot of people don't really read anymore. Such a shame. Books are cool.

Anyway, about Wiki. I wonder how comprehensive are the entries about Malaysia. I'm going to check now.

Oh yes, before I forget, I must mention that Wiki is open source and anyone can edit and add entries. ANYONE !

I'm going to reread their posting and editing policies and get started as soon as I get that sorted out.

Later then.

Current Music - Grazed Knees, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

Some Pictures

Finally I'm able to put up some pictures.



I like this one. I have many pictures of the sky, taken at different times of the day. And talking about the sky...



...here's what it looks like from the jungle floor.



Some rocks at the waterfall. This picture was actually quite blur, but fortunately it looks alright when I reduced the size.

All this pictures were taken around the Singai area not far from a friend's house.

In other news, there's not much to tell. Except maybe.... nah, that is for another time when I feel like talking about it.

Later.

A Post About Work

Isn't it brilliant? I finish sorting through the new pictures I took last week. I resize them. I'm about to post them and what happens?

Photojerk is inaccessible. Looks like those pics will have to wait until next time. Maybe in the morning or something.

I'm actually thinking about buying a new camera. The one I have is fine, but I want one with faster autofocus and more settings. Maybe one with a manual mode, so I can play with shutter speeds and exposure and things like that.

So many things to buy. So little money. Lets see, right now I want:-

- New wheels for the car.
- Subwoofer/amp.
- New frets for the guitar. And new strings.
- New soundcard for the PC.
- New chair.

All that, plus the necessary expenses like gas, food, drink, DSL etc, means more money needed. I think I'll buy the chair and fix the guitar first. Do the cheap stuff first.

Today, I find myself feeling extremely jaded with my work. It is very possibly an artificial feeling, induced by fatigue, boredom or hormonal imbalance again.

But still, I'm feeling kind of jaded with my job. It feels extremely boring tonight.

I'll try to think positive, up thoughts and remind myself how hard it is to get a job around here these days. I'm going to think about how much I get paid, which is a decent enough amount.

Working in a large private company can feel terribly inpersonal sometimes, where it's more about the bottom line then it is about people. I'm just one guy among hundreds/thousands, working to make a few select individuals get even richer than they already are. Not that there's anything wrong with that. At least the environment is nice and political bullshit is at a minimum. At least I got that to be happy about.

I don't intend to stick around forever though. I'd like to eventually do something that makes an immediate difference in people's lives. Damn if I know what I really want to do. I want to do things on my own instead of working for someone else. Maybe one day?

Maybe I'm missing the contact that I used to have with customers when I worked my previous job? Maybe I want to do something that allows me to meet and talk to people.

Or maybe, I'm just thinking like this because I'm bored and it'll all go away later or in the morning.

The important thing about working is, I guess, the realization that what I do is necessary for me to be able to live properly. Sometimes it's necessary to do things that I don't like or don't feel like doing. My job's not the most noble thing but at least it pays the bills and allows me to have some fun.

Other than this rather bored feeling, everything is fine. The hours tick by and this will improve, probably.

Tonight is also one of those times when I feel like writing a long, long post, except that I'm not sure what I want to write about.

I'll try to remember to post those pictures in the morning.

Current Music - Playing Favorites (Acoustic) - The Starting Line, Punk Goes Acoustic

Some Stuff in the Papers

I shall now post some random stuff to occupy my time here at the office.

Firstly, another excellent, as well as timely column by Marina Mahathir, one of my favourite columnists. I admire her a lot, for being fearless in expressing opinions contrary to the country's political norms and for her work to create HIV/AIDS awareness.

She rocks. She had a book out a few years ago, a collection of some of her Musings articles, published in The Star. Great read.

I hope she'll come out with Volume 2 soon.

Here's another fascinating story about hangmen in Malaysia.

Personally, I'm for the use of the death penalty. Some crimes are just too heinous for the guilty party to be left alive. For example, rape/murder. In my mind, it's quite simple. You rape. Your victim dies. You die. Especially if they're kids. Or maybe for that instance, a firing squad would be more appropritate.

And talking about crime, there's this story about a kid who got beaten up in school and who is now partially paralysed.

As a former victim, I feel very, very strongly about bullying in school. I'm not the right person to ask what to do about bullies. It's a hard topic to think about rationally. It fills me with quite a bit of anger and not a little hate.

I remember them, their faces, their names, the things they did. Most of them now are at the lower end of society, eking out a living. No, I don't feel sorry for them. They nearly destroyed me and any self worth that I had as a child and I still can't get over some of the damage. They deserve every ounce of pain and hardship they get now.

They had it coming.

As for the kids who beat up Afiq, suspend them, try them as juveniles and if found guilty, send them away to Henry Gurney. Or jail, since they're 17 right now. Let's see how "strong" and "macho" these bastards are. Or a salt mine somewhere.

If it were up to me, I'd sit them in the middle of the school football field, make them kneel, shoot them in the gut with a small calibre pistol and leave them to bleed to death.

I guess it's good that it's not up to me.

If it is true that the school's principal and teachers tried to cover this up, sack them.

Enough of this. I can feel myself getting pissed off.

In other news, broadband is going to be cheaper and more efficient, so says the Energy, Water and Communications Ministry. I'm not going to hold my breath. It's the government talking here. They talk a lot, but do a lot less.

However, it's great that they're going to open things up a bit and break Telekom's monopoly. Should be good for consumers, like me.

I hope it happens when they say it will. But I'm not holding my breath.

And finally, Superkumquat tagged me with a meme about DVDs. The problem is, I haven't finished doing my DVD inventory yet.

I'll do the meme as soon as I can. That should make a good post.

Back 2 Life

I need a new chair.

I saw a nice one that won't bust a hole in my wallet on Saturday at Courts. It's incredibly difficult to find a nice, comfy chair that isn't expensive. It's also quite amazing how so few places actually sell loose chairs i.e ones that are not part of a set.

Or maybe I'm not looking hard enough, or in the right places.

I want one of those swivelly office-type chairs that I can lean back on, preferebly with arm rests. The one I have now is actually a dining chair, wooden and straight-backed.

Not the most comfortable thing to sit on for a marathon computer game session.

I think I'll get one next week. Probably.

Today is Monday, which means I go back to work this evening. I will go with some reluctance. I had a nice, long spell away from work.

I simply have to try and go for a week long holiday. Soon maybe.

The crappy thing about having a nice holiday is that it has to end. And I always have this paranoia that in order to keep the balance, something horrible will happen the week after. For once, I'd like to have fun and not worry about negative karmic repurcussions.

So today, I will resume the mundane stuff that most of life is made of (unfortunately).

I went to visit some friends on Friday night. I'm suddenly thinking how appropriate it would be to have a Star Wars convention in Kota Padawan (literally, Padawan City or Padawan Fortress). We talked about it and by the end of the conversation, no one could speak due to too much laughing. Especially that part when one of my friends said he's going to go home to Padawan and ask his granddad about his lightsabre and where did he put it.

It sounds a lot funnier in real life.

My friend's kampung is Kampung Padawan. For those who don't know, Kampung (or Kota) Padawan is a mostly Bidayuh village not far from the city.

Oh yes, I should mention the jokes about Jedis being trained at SMK Padawan (village secondary school). Yeah, we had a roaring good time.

Life isn't too bad right now. The first half of the year's been relatively good to me. I really, really hope the second half will be as good.

Actually, I want more. I want fate to give me a break.

I want this next six months to be in my favour. I hope I will get some money (at least I got a raise, so that's a plus). I want one of my crazy projects to take off. I want to be in situations where I'm the one who comes out on top, simply by just showing up and standing around with my hands in my pockets.

I want to be the one who gets lucky, as opposed to some other person who shows up and stands around with his hands in his pocket. I want someone else to feel frustration and ask why, instead of me. I want to win for a change.

I want to meet someone and get involved in a relationship that actually works. I want to be able to do that without walking on eggshells and constantly worry that something I do or say or don't do or don't say will screw the whole thing up.

Selfish? Yes. But why should I feel bad about it. I want good fortune. What's so bad about that?

But this being my life, nothing is that simple and nothing I want ever comes without cost or without fine printed clauses.

I wish it wasn't like that.

Gawai Aftermath

Is it me, or does Streamyx seem sluggish today.

I'm feeling extremely dry right now. I got quite smashed last night. Therefore, my Gawai is complete. As an indigenous person, not getting drunk during the harvest festival is like not celebrating it. Must get stoned.

And I did.

Anyway, I think up to this point this afternoon, I think I've drunk 3 litres of water. Which helps.

Lester just called. I'm supposed to go visit him later.

Where were we last night ? Oh yes, drink. At Leon's place. As usual with any festive occasion at Leon's, drinks were served.

Beer, Night Train, beer, baccardi and two different kinds of tequila. It was awesome.

All our friends were there. Jerome, Rin, Will, my brother, Syuk, Raven and Trimas. I think I got everyone there.

We used to do this a lot. Gather somewhere, pop open a few bottles, get drunk and tell stories and ribald jokes.Nowadays, everyone's kind of busy so we don't do it so much.

By the end of the evening, some of us had to leave early while some of us passed out on the pavement and some of us threw up. Ahh, good times.

I took many pictures. Leon went one extra and took a video of some of us cackling madly. It was very funny.

I might post one or two.

We also went to Kampung Singai to visit Will at his parents' kampung (village) house. Another Gawai feature, a trip to the rural parts of the state. It wasn't very far, maybe 35 minutes of leisurely driving. My brother for some odd reason managed to fail to notice the two red cars we parked by the road side and overshoot to some other place far, far away. He made it in the end but that was still quite weird. How do you not notice two red cars parked by the road ?

Later, Will took us to a waterfall nearby. That was cool. The water was great. Too bad we were dressed wrong. Next time we go here, I'm bringing shorts.

The place is quite out of the way and not too many people go there. And for good reason. The trail up to the waterfall was quite tricky. Definitely not safe for the less gainly amongst us.

I took many pictures. Will put them up once I sort through them.

Gawai 2005 has been a good one, with many friends to hang out with and more (hazy) memories to savour. I'm going out again to visit some more friends.

Happy Gawai everyone and may the next year's harvest be as bountiful, whatever it may be.

Once You Start Down the Dark Path...

An internet quiz, taken of My Two Bits.


Green is your Lightsaber's color.

Green is the color of nature. It symbolizes growth,
harmony, and freshness. Green has strong
emotional correspondence with safety. Green is
also commonly associated with wealth and
happiness, so someone with a green lightsaber
like yourself is a fortunate soul.

What Colored Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fortunate soul ? I somehow find that funny. And not in a humourous way. Fortunate ? Funny how I don't feel like that on some days.

There are times in life when it's hard to feel blessed and grateful. It takes a big person to see light in dark times. I guess I'm not as big as I thought. That's a disappointment.

Remember when we were children and so full of idealism ? We thought we were The Good Guys, holding the fort against the so-called Bad Guys. We wanted to be heroes, steadfast and true.

We grow up and along the way we find that many truths are actually half-truths or worse, pure lies. The good guys don't always win. Hard work guarantees nothing. Being a good person doesn't exempt you from hurt and betrayal, it in fact make it easier for people to use and discard you. Things don't work put the way your parents and your elders tell you.

We become jaded and cynical. Some of us give in to sorrow, hate, anger and pain. Slowly, the dark side beckons.

It's deceptively easy to fall. And worse, when it happens you don't realize it before it's too late.

I think about it sometimes. Where do I stand ? Am I still Good ? Or have I succumbed and given up ?

I like to think that I'm a good person. Am I still ?

There are days when I think that I am not as good as I think I am, that contrary to what I imagine, I'm not The Good Guy. I might just be a bit player or worse. I find that very disturbing.

Life is hard and really effective at squeezing the good out of people isn't it ?

In other news, I've been entertaining myself by reading episode summaries of The Twilight Zone.

I've seen many horror movies and things like that, but some Twilight Zone episodes make my blood run cold. A writing tour de force, no doubt.

I'll write more about the Twilight Zone and other horror/thriller anthologies when I wake tomorrow (hopefully).