Saturday, July 23, 2005

I Don't Know What To Call This Post

I'm having some trouble writing. I think this is what people call writer's block. It's a bitch. I've written some drafts but I'm having trouble being focussed and lucid. Everything I write just seems to ramble all over the place.

Because of that, I should stay away from current issues right now. I could misquote someone and that's bad you know.

So instead I will write about what I've been doing as opposed to what I've been thinking, which isn't much at all. I haven't been introspective in a while.

I'm quite pleased to find a rare album on one of the torrent sites I frequent. I found Warrant's 1990 album Cherry Pie! Most people nowadays probably don't know who the hell Warrant are. They're glam rock so I'm not so surprised. I'm not really a big fan, but that album has songs that mean a lot to me. So I'm pleased.

Also quite pleasing was something I did on Thursday night. I went to hang with some friends at their house and ended up jamming the whole night. Right now, the fingers on my left hand are killing me. I'm haven't played guitar that long for a long, long time.

As usual with our impromptu acoustic jams, a lot of the songs come from school days. Stuff like Bon Jovi and a whole lot of other rock bands from that time. Lots of mid nineties music too, like Gin Blossoms. And of course, some old school Malay rock ballads. They don't write stuff like that anymore.

I would like to do this a lot more often, if I can. Music is such a relief.

Another interesting thing happened that night. I received SMSes from someone whom I used to fancy quite a bit last year. Apparently she's bored and unemployed and wants to hang out.

I've decided not to. I didn't tell her that though. It would be awkward and quite possibly end up dredging up painful memories. I guess it's my turn to do something other women have done with me. I'm going to play the drifting away game. I feel bad about it, really. In the past, I used to believe that I was "better" than that and above rejecting others. I guess I'm not that high up.

Idealism is so annoying in it's naivete isn't it?

But let's face it, we're just too different to ever be anything more than acquaintances. I don't want to disappoint myself and at the same time I don't want to disappoint others. I got quite distressed the last time I was with her but that wasn't her fault. I'm not taking revenge or anything like that.

Last night for the first time in a while I actually wondered about getting into a relationship again. I thought about it and put a quick stop to the thoughts. I still think I'm in no shape to attempt such a potentially damaging thing. It's not I need it that badly anyway.

But I still have hopes that it might happen in the distant future, maybe. A solid relationship is nice I hear. I wouldn't know, I've never been in one.

Anyway, that is on the back burner for now. I still have other things to do.

And now, please excuse me while I download Cherry Pie.

Current Music - Ender will Save Us All - Dashboard Confessional , The Swiss Army Romance

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