Friday, July 15, 2005

Anniversary Thoughts

Yesterday was my birthday. I am 32.

Earlier this year I had expected to have a hell lot of things to write about on my birthday. I had expected to have a hell of a lot of things to rant about, my life et al.

Apparently not.

I haven't been posting as much as I used to lately. I'm not in any kind of discomfort, that's one reason. Tis true that pain helps create, that much I can say.

I'm in a strange place. Definitely, I've gotten too used to being unhappy about things, to the point that I'm not really sure what to do when I'm not unhappy.

Why was it so bad before? Where did all that angst go? To think, nothing's really changed, except maybe how I see things and how I feel about them. I guess that's enough. Maybe it's enough to change how you see and not necessary to change the world just to make things a little better for yourself? Looks like it so far.

So what's the what for the rest of the year, until I'm 33? Who knows? And it doesn't bother me at all, finally. There really is nothing that I should worry about. I need to get used to that.

I had a good year. And this blog, so influential in almost everything I do. I met a lot of good people through it. It helped solve a lot of internal problems. It helped me see things, see myself and my surroundings in a different way. I think if I didn't blog, I would still be sad. I'm certain that would be the case.

I look forward to what's to come, big or small. The future doesn't scare me as it used to. It could bring wholesale changes or no changes at all. Either way, it's fine by me.

I think this is what it means to cross the line.

To all my friends who came for dinner last night, thank you so much. I had a great time.

Current Music - Wow, Snow Patrol, Final Straw

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