Monday, June 06, 2005

Back 2 Life

I need a new chair.

I saw a nice one that won't bust a hole in my wallet on Saturday at Courts. It's incredibly difficult to find a nice, comfy chair that isn't expensive. It's also quite amazing how so few places actually sell loose chairs i.e ones that are not part of a set.

Or maybe I'm not looking hard enough, or in the right places.

I want one of those swivelly office-type chairs that I can lean back on, preferebly with arm rests. The one I have now is actually a dining chair, wooden and straight-backed.

Not the most comfortable thing to sit on for a marathon computer game session.

I think I'll get one next week. Probably.

Today is Monday, which means I go back to work this evening. I will go with some reluctance. I had a nice, long spell away from work.

I simply have to try and go for a week long holiday. Soon maybe.

The crappy thing about having a nice holiday is that it has to end. And I always have this paranoia that in order to keep the balance, something horrible will happen the week after. For once, I'd like to have fun and not worry about negative karmic repurcussions.

So today, I will resume the mundane stuff that most of life is made of (unfortunately).

I went to visit some friends on Friday night. I'm suddenly thinking how appropriate it would be to have a Star Wars convention in Kota Padawan (literally, Padawan City or Padawan Fortress). We talked about it and by the end of the conversation, no one could speak due to too much laughing. Especially that part when one of my friends said he's going to go home to Padawan and ask his granddad about his lightsabre and where did he put it.

It sounds a lot funnier in real life.

My friend's kampung is Kampung Padawan. For those who don't know, Kampung (or Kota) Padawan is a mostly Bidayuh village not far from the city.

Oh yes, I should mention the jokes about Jedis being trained at SMK Padawan (village secondary school). Yeah, we had a roaring good time.

Life isn't too bad right now. The first half of the year's been relatively good to me. I really, really hope the second half will be as good.

Actually, I want more. I want fate to give me a break.

I want this next six months to be in my favour. I hope I will get some money (at least I got a raise, so that's a plus). I want one of my crazy projects to take off. I want to be in situations where I'm the one who comes out on top, simply by just showing up and standing around with my hands in my pockets.

I want to be the one who gets lucky, as opposed to some other person who shows up and stands around with his hands in his pocket. I want someone else to feel frustration and ask why, instead of me. I want to win for a change.

I want to meet someone and get involved in a relationship that actually works. I want to be able to do that without walking on eggshells and constantly worry that something I do or say or don't do or don't say will screw the whole thing up.

Selfish? Yes. But why should I feel bad about it. I want good fortune. What's so bad about that?

But this being my life, nothing is that simple and nothing I want ever comes without cost or without fine printed clauses.

I wish it wasn't like that.

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