Only in Dreams

I. Want. This.

For those who don't know what that is, that is a replica of the infamous Orb of Thesulah. That's right, the orb used by Willow to ensoul Angel.

It's a good thing I don't have a credit card. I would've ordered one immediately, poverty and impending starvation be damned.

I'm thinking of ways to fill up my new hard disk. It's so empty right now, even with all my old stuff moved over.

I watched Cold Mountain this afternoon. Beautiful movie. Beautiful. Nicole Kidman is great. She's so elegant and I love the way she carries herself. Such poise. I've got nothing bad to say about her. I enjoy watching her and I'm most impressed with her ability to change her accents.

And Renee Zellweger is so cute, as usual.

I like this movie. It's good.

And talking about beauty, last night I had the most beautiful dream. The kind that you don't want to wake up from. No, it wasn't sexual.

I dream. Usually weird, disjointed, non-sensical type of dreams. But last night, I had a dream so vivid, it had surround sound. And smells. And the physical sensation of being there.

I was happy. The kind of happiness that I wish so hard for. I was content and complete. I wasn't alone.

She was there. And for the first time, I saw her face. She spoke and I finally remember her voice. She was accomplished, confident, real. She was beautiful in an ordinary kind of way, just the way I like her to be. And she loved me.

I'm not going to go into details. I might as well write a book if I was going to.

But the dream manifested the state of being that I crave for. Not just the fact the she was there. It was everything else. Even our jobs were fulfilling and meaningful.

But alas, it was just a dream.

Only now, the object of that dream finally has a physical state. If I were to bump into her in real life, I would recognize her immediately. I wonder what would I do ?

Funny thought. My romantic idealist side likes to think the she would recognize me too. Maybe she's been seeing me in her dreams ?

Hah ! But as we know it, life is rarely so kind as to allow something like this to happen.

For now, I carry her image in my head. It makes me feel good. And today, that will be enough.