Ladders

I'm going to stay away from the Internet for a few days. Okay, maybe ONE day, if I could last that long.

To be honest, I'm feeling a little burnt out. There's not a lot that's happening nowadays. Not so much to write about.

I went to see Florence last night. A few drinks after a hard day is quite the relief, let me say that. It was great.

And today I was supposed to go out but I ended up at home nursing a hangover. I keep forgetting the fact that I SHOULD NOT drink too much beer. I always get the most severe hangovers from beer. Better stick to good ole vodka. Vodka based drinks are always the most fun. And painless.

I saw this girl last night and I was consume with this an almost irresistable urge to go talk to her. I say almost because I took too long to think of what to say and when I did, along comes this huge Scandinavian guy and he sits between us and starts talking to her.

There goes another potentially interesting evening and along with that, there goes another potentially interesting blog entry. What was good about last night's incident was the fact that for once I was not consumed my the usual dread and not concerned about whether she was going to like me or not. I just wanted to talk, that was it.

So unfortunate for me, it took SO long to think of something to say that wasn't a cheesy pick up line. I should remember the fact that "Hi how are you ?" is perfectly acceptable for most people (hopefully).

I nearly forgot. I'm supposed to be taking a break from all this date-like social activities as a part of my angst reduction programme. Sure I could pretend like it wasn't but it was. Secretly, whenever I meet a girl I've never met before there's always that "Is she dateable ?" question.

I believe in some circles there is a concept called the Ladder Theory at work here. I've read about it in so many blogs and other places and yet somehow I can't think of where to find the links right now.

For those who don't know what The Ladder Theory is, it basically describes how when a woman meets a man she will classify him immediately into one of two "ladders", the Friends ladder and the potential-boyfriend Ladder. For a man, all women are potential girl friends.

According to the theory, the two female ladders are mutually exclusive. The chances of a man crossing over from the friends ladder to the potential ladder is very slim.

I'm not entirely sure about how true this is. Sounds like an oversimplification to me. I'm quite sure there are always exceptions to rules like these.

As a mental exercise, I have thought about it. In my case, it's true that I do look at a new female acquaintance as a potential date first, a potential friend second. So maybe, half of that theory is true. I can't vouch for the girls unfortunately. Not being a girl makes it hard for me to speculate.

The idea that the two sexes view relationships differently is intriguing though. I'm sure that it is true, I'm just not sure how different exactly. I do think that it is true when it says that men view relationships from a more physical view than a woman. Having said that, I do not agree that men cannot appreciate the more emotional aspects of a relationship. Therefore, the idea that men are only after one thing is invalidated.

Sure, guys like sex. But that's not the only thing guys want from their girlfriends/wives. And women enjoy sex too. It would be grossly unfair to them it they didn't.

Relationships are difficult aren't they ? And it seems to me that the older you get the harder it is to get into one. And the more you know, the harder it is to be open to it. I think that's ironic. Knowing more and having more experience should make things easier. Apparently not when your emotions are involved.

Maybe people are like forts and castles. The older ones have more and better defenses and are trickier to breach.

Or maybe, it's just me.

Update : I found this and this ! Brilliant !!

Currently Listening to Ocean Avenue Yellowcard Ocean Avenue