Money Stuff

This morning, I have this strange unsettled feeling in my stomach. I don't like it. It could be an adverse reaction to work. Happily, I only have to endure three days of it. And my boss is on leave until next Monday. How I envy him.....

I'm still tired from the long week last week. I need a break. Unfortunately no chance of that happening anytime soon. Too much work to do. I might actually have to scrap my plans for Sunday since there is a possibility I might get a call back. Plus someone is asking for a replacement next week. I don't know whether I want to do it or not. Probably not. I need my chill out quality time.

I'm tired. I'm kinda stressed out. Come March, I'm going to take a longish break, hopefully.

Look at that, I'm talking about March already. How time flies faster and faster, faster even than last year. And last year was faster than the year before that. The older I get the faster time flies. What's up with that ? What changes the perception of time ? It's not like I've had any big change of pace over the last few years, so it can't be that.

Sometimes, I get the feeling like I'm running out of time to do all the stuff that I want to do. That's probably not true. It's just perception.

This is not a complaint. I'm just wondering.

In other happenings, there is hope that the last months of this year will see a HUGE change in my routine. Excuse me while I take a flight of fancy.

Imagine a career shift so massive that it will take away one of life's big concerns i.e money. How freeing would it be ? If it does happen, I will be taking a LOOONG sabbatical. Maybe two months. I like that thought. I I could go travelling solo. I've never done that before, ever.

One of my ambitions is to run my own business concern. The end of this year I could be doing exactly that. I'm kinda excited. I'm fully ready to accept the fact that it might not work out (again) but I'm still excited.

But does the removal of money concerns a gateway to a freer life ? By itself, no. Money can't buy freedom, at least not in this sense. But it can help if I live right. It really helps being a low-cost, simple guy.

My cousin and I were talking about it. He asked me,"How much would our lives change if it did work out ?" We thought and discussed long into the night. The verdict ? Probably not much will change. We'll still keep the same friends, hang out at the same places, read the same books, play the same games. We'll travel a bit more and further away and I'll drive a slightly flashier car but essentially we'll be the same guys.

I'm not much for materialism. I'm not really interested in the acquisition of status symbols and other outward signs of poshness. I'm much too rebellious for that kind of life, I hope. The real comfort of having more financial clout is the security that it can bring, not the money itself. It's not about being rich, it's about being safe.

It wasn't always like that.

When I was younger and just out of college, I too wanted all the trappings of success. I too wanted the flash cars, the jewels, the seaside bungalow and the acknowledgement of being successful. We labored long and hard. But in the end, we got nowhere. I left and settled into a new job.

And here I am.

It's a good thing that this could happen now rather than before, when I was much younger and therefore less sure of myself. "Success" can ruin a person. I'm sure we've seen it happen.

So now, I keep my fingers crossed, my head down and my wits about me. Hopefully, this time it will happen instead of just petering out. Hopefully.