Once again I post in response to comments. This is because:-
- Halocan is being annoyingly unreliable today thus preventing me from commenting on there and...
- ... I think the point I want to make today would make a good post.
But before the actual post itself, some non-related preamble.
I had an excellent time last night. I went to hang out with a bunch of old friends. Really old ones, some of whom I have known since school days. Reunions can be fun. We drank extemely cheap liquor that tasted slightly worse than lighter fluid (just like the old days guys !!) and talked about things like individual experiences of getting high on illegal chemical substances. Ahh yes, the good old days. It's good to reminisce. When I think about it the fact that we're still alive today is mind boggling, considering the stuff that we used to do.
Remember my friends who got themselves into that high speed crash a few posts ago ? Well, one of them is still in the hospital and the other is back home already. And he brought the wreck back with him. They're going to rebuild the car !! So, if anyone can get me a used Toyota Trueno chassis drop me a line. This time I'm going to insist they install five point harnesses in that thing. And cross-drilled brake rotors. And wear helmets. I could be conscientious and advise them against it. But I know they won't listen. Anyway, I trust them. They know the risks and they know what they're doing (I hope).
I was reading the comments just now and was going to reply to them when Haloscan's servers decided to go down. Anyway, there's two comments in particular that drew my attention.
I have a rule when it comes to relationships. I have followed that rule dilligently. Until very recently. That rule is very simple.
No kids.When I say kid, I mean teenagers and girls in their early twenties. Why is that ? Because kids aren't stable enough, in many ways.
I know some may beg to differ and say that age is just a number. And as usual with blanket statements, this is probably not entirely true. But by and large from my own observations and experience, a 17 year boy/girl has no business whatsoever of being in "serious" relationship.
Due to the age and the many changes that he/she's going through, her feelings can change overnight. He/She's at that stage where she plays all those stereotypical games people play in relationships. And likely he/she doesn't have a clue what commitment, fairness and compromises are. Don't believe ? Think I'm biased ? Think I'm being unfair ?
Try it yourself. Go and get a teenage girlfriend/boyfriend. I hope you like pain and confusion cos that's what you'll get more than half the time.
I should've remembered this when I first started chatting up Flo.
Why did I break that rule ? Well, my friends know that I have this policy against dating girls who are either still in secondary school or early college. My friends well meaning as they are, told me,"Mac, age is just a number. Women tend to mature earlier."
Oh yeah. Name me one teenage girl you would trust with all your heart, with all your hope and all your dreams of future bliss. More often that not, it's those damn hormones talking, as I have found out.
Anyway, I decided this time around to give in to my feelings and give it a shot. All I got was a reminder that instead of age being a number, it's a whole lot more than that too. I'm not saying that a relationship with youth can't work. If both boy & girl are young, they actually have a decent chance of being happy. If a boy is 21 & a girl is 19, they'd be at the same stage in life. They'd want the same things and have the same hopes and fears. I have friends who married young and stayed happy even now after 10 years. Good for them.
The thing that's less likely to work if one is a lot older than the other. Lots of things can be said here. Do the math. But I think the sticky point here for me is stability. Older tends to mean more experience and more give and take. Logic says someone closer to your age might understand you more. The term "generation gap" comes to mind.
Am I being fussy ? An age bigot ? A snob ? Yes you could say that. But don't I have a right to be ? Can't I want what is best for myself and not get a girlfriend because "it's not nice to be alone" ? And frankly I'm sick of being accused of being "fussy".
How about those women who said no to me, are they not being "fussy" too ? Do you mean to say it's OK for other people to be fussy and not me ? Why ? Would you go out with any random stranger just so you could prove you're not "fussy" ?
Suffice to say after this latest episode, this is the last time I'll have any intentions of getting involved with a kid. I may end up eating my words one day but as of today that's where I stand. Like Kristie says, I need a woman not a girl. If you are a 19 year old and offended by this, blame her. :-D (Just kidding..)
I'm not blaming my friends or anybody for what I went through. Maybe the younger woman thing worked for them. People may have their opinions and shared them with me, but it was my decision. I'm responsible for that.
And to my well meaning friends...
...age ? Not just a number.
Here endeth the rant.
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