Being Human

With my relationship related angst brought under control, I don't have much to write about.

Other than said relationship related angst.

I guess I'm back to my cynical, jaded old self. No wait scratch that. I'm not really the same as before July.

I made a few discoveries about me that are quite positive.

I thought I'd be too jaded to try and get in a relationship. Guess not. I took a risk and I'm glad I did, even if the outsome wasn't positive.

I thought I'd be too "wise" to react to emotional upheaval. Guess not. I fell for it and fell like a sack of potatoes.

It's good to know that I'm still human after all. I supposed being irrational and dumb is all part of that. Think about it. I could have my wish and be totally in control of myself and my situation all the time, but how dull would that be ? Everything would be so predictable.

As much as I say I don't like surprises, I do want to be surprised. I guess being indecisive is part of being human too.

You get to a certain age and you think you know everything. But I get to my age now and I know that's not true. I'm probably going to find out more stuff about myself and people in general that I don't know now. Even if I think I know.

And about relationships in general ? I'm not going to get all dramatic and declare in front of everyone that I'm taking a break again. I did this once in 2000 and as it turned out that was the one and only New Year's Resolution that I saw through completely.

Instead I'm going to get all dramatic and declare in front of everyone that I'm NOT taking a break. Pain and disappointment is part of anyone's experience when interacting with other people. I don't need to guess this one. Bring on the pain I say.

Whatever, I'm not going to run away from a potential relationship just because it's a potential disappointment.

I just hope I don't forget to get a grip and not mess myself too much in the process.

Hmm this post is not making much sense at all isn't it ?

Or perhaps that's the whole point.

Whatever.