Random Thoughts

I'm terribly annoyed.

I'm surfing at a cybercafe right now and having absolutely the worst time trying to comment and read other people's blogs. And check mail.

Is it me or does this PC hate me for some reason ? Blogs take FOREVER to load and my mail times out over & over again. Funnily enough, porn sites load in a flash. Or maybe this PC is in it's teen phase of life and likes porn.

I still don't have much to write about. That's the problem when I'm not angsty, upset, depressed, broken hearted or confused. My brain freezes up and I can't write/talk. I should learn to write about happy stuff for a change.

And so I've once again been reduced to writing about unrelated trivial things and random thoughts.

Random thought 1 :
I seem to do things better when I don't care what happens in the end. It's inexplicable, because logic dictates that if one cares about a task then one would be more thorough thus ensuring a good result.

Me ? I do my best work when I just wing it. Whatever it is, whether work or interactions with people or whatever. The only reason that makes any sense is that in my case, if I care too much I get nervous. If I'm nervous I screw up. Now, what I want to figure out is how to be concerned about an outcome and not be nervous.

I'm too complex for my own good. Also, I think too much.

Random Though 2 :
Or rather Random Observation 1. People can't/don't/won't read signs.

This is also inexplicable. How many times have you seen it ? An otherwise sensible, intelligent person would walk up to a door and tug and pull and struggle, all the while failing to notice the 4 by 6 sign that says "Closed".

I saw this happen a lot of times in UNIMAS while we still had our cybercafe up there. One time we were cleaning up the place, we locked the front door and put up our sizable "Closed" sign. We counted 2 dozen people tugging at the door in the next 90 minutes. Some even stood there for minutes, scratching their heads seemingly unable to comprehend that the "Closed" sign may be related to the fact that the door wouldn't open.

Are these people deficient ? If they are then I am too. I too am guilty of trying to push a door open while the sign on the handle says PULL.

It's inexplicable.

Ummmm, ok I only have those two thoughts at the moment.

I'm going to go to the cemetery this evening, This month marks an anniversary of death for someone I knew. Oooh...

Random Thought 3:-

Cemeteries don't freak me out. There's something morbidly fascinating about cemeteries. Especially those ancient ones with graves from the late 19th Century. Like the one near the House of Epiphany behind St. Thomas's Cathedral.

I used to go there a lot while I was still at school, for no other reason other than to read the names & the epitaphs (spelling ?). I find cemeteries to be oddly peaceful. Try it. Go there an hour before sundown.

I wonder if this graveyard fascination's got something to do with me being prone to melancholy.

And thus ends today's oddly refreshing nonsensical babbling