Doodle Doodle Doo

Oooops.

I made a mistake. Apparently THIS is my hundred & fiftieth post, not the one yesterday. Doh !

I don't have a topic. I just want to doodle. Again. This blog could be turning into a virtual doodle pad.

A lot can happen in nine months. A lot can change. But I didn't need to write that down. Everyone with brains and a device to keep time knows that.

But that's just it isn't it. I know that and here I am sifting through nine months worth of posts and being surprised by all of it.

I remember complaining (hah ! That activity seems to be synonymous with my name) that my life was dull and nothing ever happens. I looked through all these posts and no, my life over the last nine months has been rather eventful.

Okay granted my life isn't as 'exciting' as that of say, an actor or a Navy pilot on a carrier or other apparently exciting occupation you could think of. And from some angles, my life hasn't been all that exciting. I haven't traveled the world. I didn't write literature or music. I didn't make millions of dollars.

Personally though, I think this year is vintage when it comes to changes and experience. Because of this blog those things are enshrined here. Lessons and other things not to be forgotten any time soon. And always available for future reference.

This year I took risks. With my feelings, something that I've guarded fiercely over the last few years. I got bloodied emotionally, but I took risks and that is one thing I don't do very often. In doing that, I got to know myself a little more. Helps with the clarity when thinking. I'm glad I did it. It's about time.

Also helps with the practising of skills I don't normally use, especially the social ones. Some parts are still rusty but I think I'm getting the hang of it.

I'm trying to deal with some emotions left over from what's been happening recently. They are largely under control but sometimes, the urges and the feelings come back with a vengeance. Like tonight. Or this morning rather.

I try not to entertain them. I try to think and rationalize. Most of the time it works. Sometimes not very well, but most of the time I deal.

I guess you can see the purpose of this post is to help me deal. Bear with me reader. This state of mind isn't permanent. I hope.

It's tough trying to be an adult about something as juvenile as emotion.