Numb

Once again I'm annoyed.

Blogger is being painfully slow again today. Sometimes, certain pages wouldn't even load. Grrr. Is anyone else having this trouble ?

Finally sent my car for a long overdue tune up today. Finally fixed the mysterious sudden-power-loss-and-engine-shutting-itself-off-while-I'm-driving problem. Apparently there was something short in the distributor cap wiring. I certainly hope that fixed the problem. There's not many things more unsettling than driving an unreliable car at night.

I'm contemplating going out right now. Not sure where yet. Maybe I'll go for one of those random drives. Or maybe go to a (different) bar. Could use a Guinness right now. Some of my other buds are out watching a football game tonight. I'm suddenly regretting now going with them.

I'm bored. And yeah, the euphoria is starting to wear off. It sucks the way euphoria and other good feelings disappear in a flash while misery and depression linger & linger & linger.... Not that I'm depressed. Ok kinda. Just a little.

A coupla posts ago, Kristie asked me if numb was what I really wanted to feel.

Yes it is. At least for a while. I'll get bored of it pretty soon anyways. To quote something from Buffy,"I’m taking a holiday from dealing, happily vacationing in the land of not coping."

I don't want to deal. I want to be numb. I want to take the short way out.

While one should always, always face up to one's problem and deal, there will be times when it just gets too much, you know ?

I don't care if I sound lame. I'm no superhero.

Ok that's enough ranting.

One last thing...

How do I get my participation level on Kazaa up. I'm sharing files but no one's downloading. Is there any other way ?

Currently Listening to : What's Wrong Here ? by Virgil

Addendum :

Connection problem fixed. Caused by spyware. Spyware removed. What a relief....