It's a milestone for me, the person who before this had a tendency to want to do something but either don't get started or could never finish. I'm feeling pretty good.
I'm also feeling good right now because:-
- I got paid today. The mullah is in the account and the balance is nice to look at. All my overdue overtime came out one lump sum. Yes, having cash makes me happy.
- All my unfinished projects at work is finally errr....finished. Completed. Done. So no real work tonight. Actually I do have some work but I want to be lazy and goof off. Plus no stress over datelines and such things. I hate datelines and unfinished work. They make me angsty. Did I mention I'm no good under pressure ?
- The Bloggers meet is on Sunday ! I love these meets. It's nice to have something to look forward to. Bloggers are the coolest. Plus they will be women there. Maybe I'll try to chat some of them up...(Just kidding guys...unless you want me to try and chat you up hehe)
- I've just had a good text message chat with someone. It's nice. The damnest thing is that I had given up on this person. Just my luck, when I want to walk away things actually improve. Did I mention I'm better at things when they don't matter much anymore ? Actually in my previous post, I did.
Now, now don't fret. I'm not going off on another angstapalooza about some teenage girl again. Had enough of that. Lets look at things objectively now shall we ?
As a potential romantic relationship, it's over. I know that. I mustn't get excited. There was nothing there in the first place. Like Gin Blossoms say, "You can't miss what you never had".
However, it's not over as a platonic friendship. The other night I went to see her for awhile. Now, it may seem like I'm asking for trouble and more heartache by going to see her after what I said before. But hear me out. I needed to see if I was ok with the whole thing. I wanted to know if I could sit and talk to her without going nuts and turning into goo.
I could. Hanging with her didn't derail me. I didn't feel much pain at all. Why should I ? There was nothing there in the first place.
I could've gone cold turkey and avoided her totally. But I like the bar that she works at and I still want to hang there. It would've looked mighty suspicious if I suddenly stopped showing up. And me & her aren't on bad terms. We didn't fight. She didn't dump me. I pulled the plug myself. We're becoming the friends that I hoped we could become. Even better now without the ulterior motives and excess emotional baggage. I intend to keep this friendship going and let it roll.
Sounds like denial I know. But what else can I say ? I'm truly ok with it. I guess I have learnt not to be such a drama king. Whether this is denial or not only time will tell. I'm sick off analyzing every little thing I do. I should chill out and take some things at face value. A lot less complicated that way.
In hindsight, things DIDN'T end badly even if it didn't turn out the way I hoped. She's not in love with me and that's ok. Instead we are friends and on good terms. That's a good thing.
I feel good about it.
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