It's Official. I Exist.

Holy crap. There are comments on my blog. Real people actually spend their precious time reading my blog !!!

I can’t tell you how happy I am that I got some comments. (Thanks Sarah those comments mean a lot). Heck I’d be happy if people flamed me and called me names, as long as they put it here on my blog for the whole planet to see

It means a lot doesn’t it ? Being noticed. I guess that’s how people are built. Humans are pack animals as the saying goes (I forgot by whom). Without our “pack”, we would slowly wither and die. Life would gradually slip way and lose it’s meaning. Without our families, friends and acquaintances, life would suck worse than it already does.

I’m a loner by nature. I used to spend a lot of time by myself. Back in school, I didn’t have that many friends. At most at any one time, I’d have one, maybe two very close friends. It was hard for me to make friends (still hard actually, but not as bad as before), what with me being introverted and having a rather low-opinion of myself (the result of many hours of brow-beating by the so-called cool kids, among other things). Most kids back then thought I was “weird” and those big-ass glasses my parents kept buying for me did not help one little bit.

So I know more than most, how it was like to be outside looking in. Wishing I was “cooler” or taller or better looking. People can be cruel and it’s most evident when we’re alone. In short, during school and college, life truly sucked. Truly. I felt truly, truly isolated despite my small group of friends.

How do we deal with being alone ? I got no answers. I don’t even remember when it stopped bothering me. Being alone I mean. One day I woke up and just didn’t care anymore (please refer to earlier post, it carries the same “I don’t care theme”). Maybe that’s the key. Maybe we have to fight our pack mentality and teach ourselves to be more self-reliant. Who knows, maybe the key to overcoming emotional hunger is to deny it.

The only thing that I do know is that there are no easy answers. In a perfect world, noone should be by themselves. But since we live here on Earth, we see otherwise cool, interesting people being thrown to the fringes just because of the way they look, or their religion or their skin color or even the idea that they are somehow “weird”.

And what if you are one of them ? What else can you do but spank your inner muppet and move forward.

“The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live” – Buffy Anne Summers “The Gift”

Good night
mac