Tuesday, April 12, 2005


There's a picture that I should be putting here.

Unfortunately, this is one of those days when Photojerk refuses to load. Never mind, it's an old picture anyway.

I haven't taken that many pictures lately. The weather's been less than pristine the last few days. In fact there's a lot of things not very pristine these days.

I had a bit of an emotional relapse last night. I chatted with a friend on YM and sorta broke down in the middle of it. But it was a relief. Writing your woes here is one thing, but talking about things with a live person is another thing. Certain things are good to keep to yourself no ?

I have a feeling that this week is going to be one of those really hard weeks, at work and outside. At work, work is piling up and there's a whole lot of things that will be going on. So I'll probably have a lot of overtime. Which also means exhaustion and less time for myself.

Outside of work, my own feelings are churning right now. Like something isn't quite right. Feeling kinda anxious, I don't even know about what. Part of it is me fighting off my own melancholy streak.

I can be prone to mood swings. I don't like it. It's disturbing.

Even worse, I don't want it to interfere with the way I interact with other people. I don't want to end up saying things that might hurt others or make them go "eh?".

But I try to cheer up. I try by thinking how much worse it used to be when I do get my inevitable streak of moodiness. At least now, I can make a conscious decision about not giving in and taking notice of it, instead of letting it throw me out of sync again.

Certain things just refuse to go away. Certain things can't be changed. Certain parts of yourself you can never make better. I guess it's like being a werewolf, or a vampire. You have to live with your curse.

Short of the stake or the silver bullet, the only thing left to do is to deal.

I'm going to go out today and try to shake the blues off that way.

EDIT: 1.52pm I just finished watching this movie and it is so good. Also, on a personal level, quite profound.

"If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking"

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