So Tired...

Oh dearie me.

I'm at work right now and I simply cannot stress on how much I don't want to be here. And to make matters worse, I have to replace someone again, so two extra days of work (30th & 31st)!

While I know it was a genuine emergency, it doesn't make it any less annoying. Considering how much leave this guys's taken and how he likes to do it at the very last minute. Hence forcing me to make last minute changes, because many times I'm the only person that can replace him.

Still, I've managed to finagle someone to replace me on the 31st afternoon, since I have to be at the beach to prepare for the evening festivities. Which I hope will be fun.

I was about to write "maybe I'll meet someone interesting", but seriously I'm so tired of that, I don't really care right now. I'm tired in general, tired of work, tired of trying to reach out and make new social contacts and most of all tired of 2004. I wish I could be over and done with it. I'm tired and it's making me bitter.

Not that anything's going to be different next year. But please, let me revel in my delusions that it actually might be different.

I had a rather interesting Christmas, where my parents' many friends visiting all day both days. And relatives too, some of whom I haven't seen in many years. And of course, THAT question came up.

And when I said,"No, I'm still single and yes I AM aware of my age thank you very much" the inevitable suggestions that I was being fussy came up too. I didn't try to explain. Been there done that, don't want to be a broken record and repeat the same things over and over.

While I realize that it's just them making small talk and being concerned, I'm just so tired of hearing that. But what can I say ? What can anyone say ?

I peruse my own archives sometimes, and yes there's a lot of these entries lying around. I'm tired of writing about this same thing. But what can I say ? I try to forget it but people keep reminding me.

On a sidenote, the most retarded marriage based comment I've ever heard recently was,"You should get married, have kids and make your parents happy". Ok let's do a survey.

A. How many people do you know have done this ?
B. Can you seriously believe that people marry for this reason?

You know sometimes I wish it were that simple. Go find some accomodating girl, get my parents to talk to her parents, get married, buy a house in the suburbs, breed and live happily ever after.

I wish it were that simple. Actually I could go up to my mom and ask her to find said accomodating girl. And knowing mom, she'd pull it off in about six weeks.

But I don't believe in that. I like relationships to progress naturally. Maybe I'm too naively idealistic like that.

Whatever it is, right now I'm not really doing anything about it. I'm just so tired.

I hope you're not feeling that.