Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Normal Again

I'm not supposed to write today. I should be too exhausted to think of anything, since I've just had  a long and hectic three days at work and have just got out of a meeting that lasted two hours. But somehow, I feel compelled to come here and post. I'm quite severely stressed, enough in fact to contemplate going to Kilkenny to grab a pint of draught. Alone. Thank goodness for blogs. God only knows where I would go to spill.
 
Now, have you ever had days when varied thoughts swim in your head like carp in a pond ? But like carp in said pond everytime you stick your hand in the water to grab one, you get nothing in your hand. Thoughts are there but I can't grab a hold off anything, like elusive carp. I sounding pretty nutty here aren't I ?I'm having one of those days (nights actually) right now. So I'm not going to think and just tap away at this cheap ass generic OEM PS/2 keyboard here in this cybercafe (which incidentally doesn't even serve coffee, which would be good right about now).
 
What is a "normal person" to you ? When I say "normal person" or "normal people" what do you see in your head ? How is it even possible to label someone "normal" considering the fact that people are supposedly unique ? Is "normal" in this case an absolute value or a range of values, in which if a person falls within parameters then they are considered "normal" ?
 
During the bloggers meet I mentioned that I had a theory that bloggers are not "normal". Now, if that were true does it mean that a "normal" person doesn't blog ? And if that were true, then I contradict myself when I say that the beauty of reading blogs is to delve into a "normal" person's life.
 
We do contradict ourselves a lot. We say things we don't mean. We give compliments that aren't sincere. We extol truth and honesty, yet lie to protect someone's ego.
 
I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a "normal" person, at least not in the conventional sense. Maybe what I meant by that are people who instead of being valiant and living their true lives and exploring their capabilities, instead life the lives that are expected of them. The kind of life expected by their parents, their society, their religion, their social norms. Some people have no choice but to go along. Some people don't know any better. Some people do wonder what lies on the road less traveled, but have no courage to "stray".
 
Am I a normal person ? I can say with some conviction, No, I Am Not. In the very least, I don't think my life is that of the typical Malaysian/Sarawakian/Iban person. It's certainly not the life my mom wanted me to have. And certainly not the life that many colleagues and friends live. My life is more interesting than many peoples' but not quite as interesting as some others'. Since that makes my life in the middle of the spectrum, does that in fact make me "normal" ?
 
Okay I'm going round in circles here and I'm dizzy. And if you are dizzy, I'm really sorry. My bad. Really.
 
And I'm not even drunk. Can you imagine what I would write if I was ?

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