Grave

When is off day not off day ? When you have to rush back to the office for a meeting at 7.00pm, that's when.
 
I'm still feeling a bit rushed. That meeting threw me out of my rhythm. Still, work is work.
 
Got some bad news. Remember that chopper that disappeared sixteen days ago ? They found it. Less than five clicks from its point of origin. Five bodies, two missing. I don't know what to say, especially to Jemima. So people, hit her blog, show some blogger solidarity and show your concern. I hope that she's not alone right now. She says that her last entry might be...well, her last entry. It's so sad when a blogger quits. I hope she doesn't stop. But whatever her reasons, what can we do but respect her decision should it come to that. It's her blog after all...
 
Death is always a shock.
 
I had a best friend once. We met in kindergarden and were friends throughout school. I knew him for 13 years. Then one day in KL in 1991, I was having breakfast after church when one of my friends came up to me. She said that my friend got into an accident. He didn't survive.
 
Death is always a shock. But sudden death is even worse.
 
I still remember what my reaction was, although I can never ever describe it with words. You had to be there to know. There was I, trying to absorb the fact that my bestest buddy whom I had known for 13 years is no longer here.
 
Me & Leon (who was also very very close to him) so desperately wanted to go back to Kuching. I wanted to go to the funeral. I wanted to be there when they put him in the ground, to send him off like a good friend should. But alas, I couldn't. People tell me that his funeral was well attended. He was a cool guy and had lots of friends. Even his enemies and people who didn't like him turned up and paid their respects. Until this day I refuse to look at the pictures they took of him in the casket. I just want to remember him like the last time I saw him, alive & kicking.
 
There's an epilogue to that story. Of all his many, many friends, only me & Leon still visit him until now. Every anniversary of the day, we go to the cemetery. We'd bring smokes and booze. We'd sit at his grave and talk about the old days and what could've been. We'd tell him what we've been up to. We'd tell him that we wished that he was still around.
 
It's such a shame that such a good person can be forgotten like that. But me & Leon, we don't forget. I guess I don't blame the other guys & girls for not visiting him. I know some of them may find Batu Kitang Anglican Cemetery to be morbidly depressing and sad. Some may it too painful to remember. Some may not go for whatever reason. It doesn't matter. I still remember and I still go.
 
I do ask sometimes. When I die, will my friends come & visit ? Who will remember ? Who will forget ?
 
Does it even matter ?