Dark Secret

Update on last post.

I'm exhausted. From work and from the emotional roller coaster I've been riding lately.

On one hand, I am elated. I've not had my interest peaked by someone for the longest, longest time. And here I was thinking God had answered my dejected prayers and turned my heart to stone.

But on the other hand, I've pissed off because of the melancholy I'm feeling, also caused by said person. I'm anxious. Worried that this, like so many of my other woman oriented misadventures will end up to be yet another personal disaster.

Once bitten, twice shy people say. Certainly, now I'm taking precautions and acting deliberately, unlike many times previously where I would act like a dork & follow her around making puppy dog eyes, annoying the crap out of the object of my affection at the time. Relationships and romance are emotional by nature, but emotions untempered by thought are the perfect ingredients for failure. Ironic that, to succeed at an emotional game, you have to think (at least this is from my experience).

Purists may argue that my cautiousness takes the spontaneity out of dating. But I'm not taking any more chances that way. I've had my still-beating heart ripped out of my chest often enough, thank you very much. Bitter, bitter lessons from the past have taught me some.

Just now I blew half the credits of my cell phone, talking to friends about her (Echo from the last post, still can't use her real name yet). I had a nagging feeling that there's something about this girl that I should now. I was right.

She has a dark secret (no she isn't The Slayer, although if she was it would make so much hotter than she already is, if that is even possible..). And since it's a secret, I will not be able to divulge it out of respect for her and to conceal her identity. Trust me when I say the secret is big. And dark. And makes her even more fascinating (no she's not a lesbian nor is she bisexual you pervert.! Though if she wer...never mind).

Let's just say that the poor woman made mistakes in the past.

I thought about this and yes, she is worth the time I want to spend hanging with her. I can tolerate her secret. Perhaps I can be her confidante, someone she can trust ?

The verdict I got from my 'informants' ? Approach with caution. Due to her circumstances, she may be ultra-defensive on some matters. She won't suffer prying eyes lightly, that's a definite. From this bit of info, I have a base strategy (I hope it's a sound one).

It won't be easy. Basically, I need to get her to open up. I need her to talk to me about her and what she is like. Talk about her past. I'm not sure how to time this yet. Can't do it too early. Or too late. If I can gain her trust, I can gain other things. (like affection ?).

I've also decided to just be friends with her for now, no more no less. If anything else happens, I'll just have to let it happen by itself.

I cross my fingers...and hope I don't scare her off.