Screwdriver

Had an interesting night last night. There's this girl I know. Not actually a friend, more of an acquiantance. I think I've only hung out with her once.

Last night, I got invited to a gathering at her house along with some of my other buds and some of hers. This was rather strange (but in a good way). For one thing, she was asking us to bring booze (we did). Now as far as I know, this girl doesn't drink.

So what makes a non-drinking girl suddenly hanker for a shot of Jim Beam you wonder ? Why she got dumped of course. Or rather, she caught her boyfriend red-handed with some chick. In his bed room. Also, she doesn't think too highly of Filipino girls presently.

So we had our Jim Beam and our Absolut Screwdriver (vodka & orange juice...yum yum). And all the while, she was telling us how she hates guys bla bla bla i.e typical break up talk. And who could blame her.

What's the point here ? The point is no matter how good a relationship is going, there's really no way of knowing is there ? These two have been going out for six years and everything's gone now. So is it worth it ? I guess it depends on how invested you want to be in a relationship. Is the relationship worth the risk of getting hurt over ?

This is one of those reasons why I'm not really into the whole dating scene. There are other factors of course, like my gutlessness and lack of social finesse, but that's besides the point. The main thing is the fear. Coming of too many dumpings and screwed up "relationships" doesn't actually do wonders for one's confidence.

Well meaning people tell me,"Dude, you gotta have confidence.". So now here's the question. If I've never really had a 'successful' relationship, what do I have I be confident about ? My self ? Okay maybe but again I have to there is a thing called delusion that I have to consider. Am I being a wuss ? Maybe, but before anyone gets judgemental be me for a while and then say something about it. It hurts being rejected okay. A lot. Some people actually kill themselves over it (fools..).

Now I'm not sure why I'm ranting about me, since I'm supposed to talk about that friend of mine. Poor girl, she had some high expectations. The only thing I could tell her in my drunken state last night is that she doesn't need this guy. In fact she doesn't need to be involved with anyone. At least not right now. The problem is that sometimes we convince ourself that we need to be with someone else to be complete. That's a big fat lie, perpetrated by tradition & pop culture and reinforced by our social norms. Think about it, how many people do you know stick to bad relationship just so they could say they have a girlfriend/boyfriend ?

So am I against it ? Falling in love and all that. Not at all but it's not the end of the world if you're not involved. That's all.

Gee I hope there's a point there somewhere.

And having a half bottle of vodka all to myself is a good thing (especially if there's orange juice).

Here endeth the rant.