The Simple Past

Been listening to the Sarah McLachlan CD all evening. Awesome.

Some great tracks on here, like Fallen & Push & Dirty Little Secret. It's great how she can write music that can evoke such warm feelings. It's great. I want to check out some of her older stuff. If you like this kind of thing, I recommend listening to this older song of hers called Full of Grace. That song rocks.

I'm having a rather good day. My car loan got approved !! I'm so relieved. Went back to the dealership to finish up some more paper work today. I should get it by next week, the week after next at the latest. So yay for me.

I don't really have much to write about this morning. This whole night while at work, I suddenly thought about this Bidayuh girl I used to go out with. Man, that was an exciting relationship.

She was older than me by a year. We met at work. I was out of school and waiting for exam results. I worked at this very well known local sporting goods store. She worked there too.

She was engaged with this guy. There were having problems. We got really close when she started confiding in me. One thing led to another, soon I found myself having an affair with her behind the fiance's back. That was until she worked up the courage to break off the engagement. To be fair, the other guy was an asshole, so he had it coming. Happily, the other guy never found out about me.

We went out a few times, then my college offer letter arrived and I had to leave. It couldn't last, with me away and her back here. About two months later I called her and she told me that she wanted to break up. She asked me to burn all the letters that she wrote me (aww sob sob, so mushy ewwww...). That was the end of that.

I heard later, she got back together with her fiance and got married despite opposition from her family (who apparently liked me a lot more, hehehe). Last I heard, she has 2 kids and was basically alone, since her husband traveled alot. Also, he was womanising and getting drunk alot. And she knows about this too. I haven't heard anything since. And today, after so long, I suddenly thought about her. Weird.

Why was that relationship so significant ? After all, it only lasted a little over 4 months. It's significant because it wasn't complicated, at least for me. It was simple. No mind games or anything like that. It was natural. Nobody pushed. It ran it's course and it just happened. It was great. I got hurt by I don't bear any grudges against her.

Anyways, now I'm thinking what are the chances of that kind of thing happening again. I think nowadays, I'm a bit too defensive. Will I be brave enough to let go and just let it happen ? It'd be nice to meet someone, become close and suddenly it happens. Simple. No agonizing over questions like "is she the one ?", does she like me", are we compatible" etc. No fear of betrayal or wondering wether if this is real or if she just wants to have a fling. Just go with it.

Gee, what am I writing about ? Is there a point I want to make here ? Maybe not.

So gentle viewers, excuse me while I wallow in some more romantic nostalgia and wonder what went wrong.