Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Monthly Nights/The Relationship Conundrum

Two posts in one ! While stocks last.

Just got some work-related news. Once again, I will be working nights only, for this entire month (groan...).

I have to replace my buddy on the opposing shift. He's going off to attend some training outside. At least, I get all that night work allowance. I so need money right now, what with the car buying and all that.

Once again, after living rather comfortably for the last year and a bit, I will be broke regularly again. With the car purchase, I will blow 65% of my wages on fixed cost until December. After that, don't know yet.

At least I bought something useful.

I was just reading the latest entry from tales of ordinary madness. Sarah, you sure do know how to pick a thought provoking topic. Great read.

It made me think. I suppose that's the common denominator for all great writing. It must make you think. Anyways, I thought about my own situation, relationships-wise and whether I (or my parents or my relatives) have any problems with it.

My situation. Thirty (thirty one this year *sob *sob), single, just starting to pick up the pieces of my somewhat wasted life. Works as a tech support guy at an American owned factory which operates 24/7/365. A little low in confidence department, especially when it comes to talking to strange women I don't know.

Luckily, My parents don't pressure me about getting hitched. And my relatives, as nosy as they are, at least know enough to shut up and not ask me stupid questions I can't answer politely (especially about the lack of girlfriend).

I do believe in marriage. But my views have changed a little bit about it. I used to think that if I didn't get married by my supposed sell-by date, then I'm a freak and I belong in the PT Barnum Roadshow (or it's Asian equivalent). Nowadays, I think that if I can't find somebody I actually WANT to stay with, I won't do it.

Too many people around my part of the world marry because it's what is considered 'the thing to do'. You get to a certain age, you marry your current boyfriend/girlfriend. If you don't have any, get your parents/nosy relatives to look for one. You know, it's like the circle of life, you get born, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids and then you die. It's that kind of thing. I think it's dumb.

Nobody needs to marry to complete themselves, no matter what anyone's parents say. Too many risks in rushing into it. No need to get detailly here, it's all self explanatory. We've seen it all before. In fact I think people should wait until they've done everything they want too before settling down. Marry before you're ready ? The most common fall-out would be disgruntlement at being held down by all the responsiblities while your heart wants to do something else.

I do want to marry someday. Marriage can work. I've seen that too. I used to not believe it would happen to a poor sod like me, but who am I to say ? It's in the future, I wouldn't know. So I'm not writing that off, no matter what my current reservations are.

I used to have a long, long list about the so-called The Perfect WomanTM. That list has gotten shorter & shorter over time. My ideal woman now ? Someone who could hang with me for hours and feel totally comfortable. Someone who will tell me what is wrong when I ask her. Someone who is confident with herself, enough to be able to kick my ass if I needed an ass-kicking. And number one of all of this, someone who TRUSTS me and who I can TRUST back.

That's it really. I'm sure she's somewhere out there. Let's see if I find her.

Phew. That's a long post.

*Also, as a bonus, I hope she'll look like Alyson Hannigan :) Heheh

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