Harvest

This post is just so this month's post count will be more than 1.

What can I say, there's nothing going on to report. My computer sort of died, so I had to replace some parts.

Work is just like that. Life in general is just like that. Sort of boring.

What would I blog about if there's no personal matter to discuss? I could talk about current issues again but those things just annoy me. Politics? Same thing.

Anyway, it's Gawai tomorrow. I'm at home and probably will stay home tomorrow too. Not feeling particularly festive to be honest.

Still, the quiet is something to be grateful for. I just wish I could enjoy it a bit more.

It's sort of boring.

Happy Gawai to you all and hopefully your year was alright. It's ok for me so far.

May

It's a Sunday. I'm at work. There's this big event going on here. It's pretty cool actually. Big crowd these last few days.

Anyway, that screencap above is of this really, really cool website. Urban exploration is quite awesome. I was thinking about something. I know of some abandoned structures here in Kuching and how cool would it be to buy out land that has a colonial era structure on it and have that structure refurbished. It'd be awesome and a change from building a house from scratch or buying a prebuilt one.

I'd love to be able to live in a hundred year old house.

I've always been fascinated by old things. History fascinates me. Objects and other things connected to the past fascinate me. It's hard to explain why. Even stranger considering that I was never that good at History when I was studying it in secondary school.

I recently applied for another job. A very high paying one at a local campus of an international university. I don't think I'll get it. No matter, all I want is to go to the interview. I feel that if I got a shot at an interview I have a small chance. The pay is very, very good. I really, really need money this year.

I watched some movies lately. Iron Man 2 was pretty good. But strangely, I enjoyed Kick Ass more.

I upgraded to Windows 7 Pro at home recently just so I could play Just Cause 2. I don't regret it. Just Cause 2 is awesomely fun. The game is so very big. So many places to go and so many things to see. And to blow up.

Even more excellent is Win 7 actually. I should've changed over sooner. It is very good. The thing I appreciate the most is the very much improved memory management. No issue with memory leaks at all. I appreciate the quick boot up and shut down too. It took a while to get used to especially since the XP classic desktop is not available anymore. But once past that, Win 7 is really good.

Not much else is happening. It's May already. Almost half a year gone. I really hope I get that job.

Shorts

I really had no time this month, to say nothing of motivation.

Had a long, long week. There was a major conference at work and I had to work through the weekend. Good thing I'm off work tomorrow. Had some extra leave to clear.

I applied for another job. I sent in my application late last week. Same thing I'm doing but with some extra stuff on top. Much, much more pay. It's a long shot though. The potential employer states that having a degree and/or professional certification is "highly desirable". I have none of these.

Seriously though, I can do this job if I get it. If. No matter though, if I don't get it then I'm not worried.

I stayed at Tune hotel a few weeks back. Just needed to get away from things. Nice, clean hotel. Cheap too. Cheaper still if you book way in advance. I'm going back there should I feel like going away again.

I got a raise today. 5%. Not too bad.

Tomorrow, I need to pay some bills and fix the car.

Hopefully, I'll be motivated to post my next entry quicker than this one.

Happy?

I watched Clash of The Titans last week. It was great! Although I do think they should’ve kept the way the original movie ended with the narration about stars and the constellations etc.

I also watched Blood The Last Vampire. Better than I thought. Koyuki is so nice to look at. Something very elegant about her.

And I watched Zombieland. It was great. One of the best zombie movies I’ve ever watched. I hear they’re making a sequel. I’d watch that for sure.

I just noticed the massive gap between the last post and this one. I feel sort of sorry about that. I wish I have more stories to tell. These days, I’m actually amazed at how prolific I used to be as a blogger.

If I were to write more often, a lot of it would be about games. Not many people want to read about that. I could write about them intellectually, ala Kotaku or those other gaming websites. Unfortunately, I’m not much of a writer especially when I’m not unhappy or wracked with anxiety or other things like that.

Which brings me to something that I thought about last week. I was driving in heavy traffic and was looking around. I suddenly had a question. Of all these people around me, how many of them would be able to say for certain that they are happy?
I do wonder. How many people are happy and how many are miserable? I don’t know about happy but somehow I can imagine quite a number of them are not so happy. Why? Just a hunch I was getting.

Am I happy? I don’t know to be honest. I feel many things. Relief would be one of them. Especially when I remember things that I used to get involved in. I had a less than ideal past.

Boredom would be one of the things I feel too. I am kind of bored. Not very bored. Just sort of. But again when I remember things, I’d take boredom over any number of bad emotions.

I guess I’m just going through the motions at the moment.

Strange thing happiness. So simple an idea, yet it causes so much misery during the pursuit of it. It’s the greatest irony.

So how happy are you then?

Regular Stuff

Between work, hanging out, gaming and Facebook there isn't time to blog much. To think I used to be so wordy. This is one drawback of figuring things out. I could write about what I figure out but I don't want to be preachy.

Things are a lot quieter nowadays. Even in my head.

Anyway, I've been playing Dragon Age: Awakening. It's great. I kinda wish it was longer. Not much to say here. Not much changed except things like new enemies, new companions, new items and of course the new story which was pretty good. In a nutshell, Awakening is simply more Dragon Age. Definitely a good thing.

I'm also playing Dawn of War 2 Chaos Rising. This expansion changed a lot of the game. I played the original campaign after finishing the expansion one and a lot of things change. It really feels different. More enemies attack you in the missions even the ones from the original game. Some maps have respawning enemies until there are so many you fight none stop and it feels like you get overrun. And more wargear. And Chaos Marines are pretty cool. Really looking forward to another expansion.

In other news, I'm thinking about buying a PS3 at the end of the year. Its cost is almost reasonable now. Almost. RM1280 for the 120Gb slim one is still a liiitle too much at the moment. Maybe I should get a used one?

Apart from this game talk, things are just like that. A little blah.

I replaced a tire yesterday. Thank goodness for used tires. If not, I would've had to fork out 180 bucks for a new one.

And talking about money, I'm going to be broke still for awhile longer. I hope things clear up soon enough. Lots of clearing needs to be done.

Black Powder

Ever since Facebook appeared, blogging as a whole as gone down hasn't it? Some ways social networking sites provide that instant gratification that blogging once provided. I definitely feel that way regarding my own blog.

Earlier this month, I had a pretty busy time at work. I'm relieved it's all over. I'm hoping for things to remain slow. For awhile anyway.

Been playing Napoleon Total War. It's great. The Total War series keeps getting better and better as it goes on.

I finally got a new hard drive last week. A 500Gb WD one costing a mere 180 bucks. So I no longer have to worry about space. For awhile It also means our other computer at home has more space too since I moved my 200Gb IDE hard disk there. All my music is in one place again.

There is not much to say at the moment. Things are pretty calm. I suppose life could be better in some areas but overall things are ok.

I'm still thinking about making some changes. One or two weeks will decide that.

Time Pt 2

It's March already. Hmm.

In my last post I put up Pink Floyd lyrics and there's this bit that goes:-

"Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines"

The years do seem to get shorter and shorter don't they. And despite all the talk about playing things safe, there are a few I want to do with the time that I have. But somehow, there are things here that hold me back. Plans come to naught or remain just plans.

It doesn't bother me much though. I don't mind if I don't do anything major again in my life. As long as I can be happy. To be free and happy is everything I want. That is all.

There is one thought that scares me.

When I turned 30 I didn't mind it so much. It didn't seem like a big deal. Then recently I realized that that was 7 years ago. Then it suddenly became a big deal.

Turning 40 scares me. It's frightening because of how unready I am. What has the average 40 year old achieved. And where am I compared to that median.

I look at my parents. My former classmates from school and uni. What have I done with all the time? I supposed I shouldn't feel so bad. It's not as if I didn't try to get ahead. But most things didn't work out. Half a page of scribbled lines.

I suppose I fear because when you are young and make mistakes, there's still time. I feel that if I make a mistake now, there won't be anymore time to try to make up for it.

I have a lot to make up for. A lot of favours to repay and a lot of wrongs to correct. A lot I need to do to become the average that I imagine. I don't even know where to start. What does the future hold in it?

And how much time do I have before it's all gone and the song ends?

Time

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

- Time, Pink Floyd, Dark Side of The Moon

Not Feeling so Good

I’m not feeling so good. Tired. And it’s about to get very, very busy around here. I do in fact want to elaborate on my last post but I’m not really up to it and the moment.

Going out to Bing later. Haven’t gone to Bing in forever.

Chinese New Year break was pretty good. Quiet. Only went to one house. I did have a really good time on the eve of CNY. Went to hang out at a friend’s house to watch fireworks. I was thinking the impromptu fireworks we have in all the towns in Sarawak could be a useful tourist attraction. I think it’d be a good idea to use it that way.

No Valentine’s day blues. Hadn’t had that for a while actually. No desire to whine or ruminate over relationships and women etc. I think I’ve pretty much written down everything I’ve got to say about that. I guess that’s a good thing even though it makes this blog less fun to read. Not that anyone reads it anymore anyway, apart from myself.

I think Twitter and Facebook are more immediate and gratifying as a means of self expression. Hence the reduction in blogging interest.

Felt very lethargic last week and this week too. Tomorrow I’m planning to sleep in.

It’s nearly the end of February and this is only my 2nd post.

There is one other thing I want to write down. About work. I’m feeling kinda angsty again. But no adventure this time. Only security. I get this feeling that this job isn’t secure enough.
Something to think about the next few weeks.

I would feel worse if not for the games on my PC. Had to reinstall Windows recently. The first time I’ve done that to my PC in at least 3 years.

I’ll post again within the next 2 weeks or when something noteworthy happens whichever comes first.

Bits and Pieces

What do Martin Sheen, Michael Dorn, Carrie-Anne Moss, Yvonne Strahovski, Tricia Helfer, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Adam Baldwin and Seth Green have in common? They all do voices for Mass Effect 2!

I've been too busy playing Mass Effect 2. It's brilliant. Every bit as good as its sister Dragon Age. I've just finished the game but I'm starting another one. I also started another Dragon Age file recently too.

Anyway, Mass Effect 2. It's so good it's.... so good. It's an action RPG. And also a sandbox type game. There's a story. A really good story. And many smaller stories on the side. Star charts. Planets to explore. People to chat with. And a final act worthy of any action movie. Or mini series.

If someone mashed together this game and Privateer it would be mind blowingly awesome.

Actually, games like these have grown big enough to warrant its own mini series. One movie won't be enough to include everything in the game, should a movie adaptation be made of course.

And there's the graphics. Beautiful.

Anyway, March will be more fun. There's a Dragon Age expansion to look forward to. An DLCs for Mass Effect. And patch 10.1.3 plus January transfer updates for FM2010. And movies!

Unfotunately, February is a busy month. There's a huge do coming up towards the end of the month and it's going to be quite mad. I just hope nothing bad happens.

So far nothing bad has happened. I do wish it would be more peaceful though. It's not like I'm in trouble or anything. But I got nostalgic recently and I suddenly remembered a time when things felt... different. Warm.

I used to go out with friends and we'd hang out the whole day talking about fanciful stuff like life and jobs and what we wanted to do. We talked about feelings and relationships. And deep meaningful stuff.

That was before real life struck of course. Then I got busy, friends got busy, people grew up and drifted apart. Then there's the depression and the fluoxetine. I still think about that. How differently things would've worked out had I took the pills earlier.

Life is pretty cruel when you think about it. I have more to write. Perhaps later?

The End of Mondays

It's the end of January already.

As usual, there's not much to write about. Things are just as they are. I'm looking forward to February. A short, quick month with public holidays in it. And March will come and new movies are due out then. Like Clash of The Titans.

I'm very excited about that. I watched the original back in the day with the parents if I'm not mistaken. I was 8 years old. I remember the original story and characters very, very clearly. It'll be like a reunion of sorts when that movie comes out on 26 March.

Another reason why this movie was significant is due to the fact that it sparked my interest in Greek mythology. Which led to interest in Roman mythology. Which led to interest to Egyptian mythology. Which led to... Well, the general idea is there.

That is how I ended up being a history and archeology buff that I am today.

I can't help but think that maybe when the new Titans movie comes out in March there will be a kid in the audience who would feel compelled to read by the story.

I certainly hope so.

In other news, I'm learning Linux. Forced to by things happening at work. It's hard. But I'm going to keep at it. It's essentially DOS on steroids after all. I know DOS so I should be able to figure Linux out in time. And who knows, Linux knowledge might lead to other, better... opportunities in the future.

I'm also pleased to note that so far there is no major inconvenience yet to report in 2010. Neither is there any drama. Or disappointment. Here's to hoping February would be the same.

Slowing Down

Well that took a long, long time didn't it.. There is even less time these days to even update my Facebook status nevermind post in blogs.

I had a long, long week last week. There was a big do here over the week and I was on duty. Tiring. But quite satisfactory. On Sunday, I went out to buy some more computer stuff for this friend of mine who is going on a PC upgrading spree. Over the last few months, I helped him change everything from DVD writer to CPU to RAM to motherboard. Even got a pretty good graphics card. We changed everything and yesterday we went out to buy a new hard disk. 500Gbs for RM175. That's ridiculously cheap.

If it weren't for the fact that I need to pay insurance at the end of March I would buy one myself. It's still on though. I really, really need the extra space. After all the bills are paid I'm getting one as soon as I can afford it.

So yeah, now this friend has what amounts to a brand new PC covered by three year warrantee. We are both very pleased. The only things we haven't changed are the monitor and the casing. This "new" PC should last him quite a while. His old PC stayed more or less the same for something like 8 years.

It was fun doing this. I wish I could build more computers more often.

Other than that, things are pretty routine so far. Time has floated by at a good enough rate so this January doesn't actually feel like the dreary month it usually is. It's been raining very heavily a hell of a lot. People have been complaining about it and for good reason I guess. But I actually like the rain apart from the fact that it makes it inconvenient to go out.

There's been a little bit of drama at work but thankfully it doesn't really involve me. Some people live of this office politics stuff. I'm not one of them. As if like isn't already complicated enough like I often say.

Hopefully this week will be less busy and I can slow down a bit.

Cleanse

You know what some people say about how the year end brings nothing new, that the so-called New Year's Day is just an arbitrary placeholder for the end of a calendar. Nothing changes.

I agree with that.

But this time oddly enough, it feels like something HAS changed somewhere.

I've been at work for a week now and life in general is a little different. It's probably just a change in perception. What I don't know is what brought that on. Especially considering how awful last year was. By right I should be traumatized. True to form last year was filled with crap right up till the last day.

But I'm not traumatized. I could say that I'm numbed but I'm sure it's not that. Maybe it's the weather? Or the new music I put in the car? It's hard to describe exactly what I'm feeling. It's something like feeling easier, like a burden has lifted with the coming of a new year. It feels like I could consign all that awfulness to the past where it belongs? I'm not sure I'm saying this right.

Basically, it's almost as if 2009 didn't really happen.

One not so good thing so far is how busy I am this first week of January. Tomorrow I have to come work again. And next week I might have to work until 10.00pm until Saturday.

Good timing though, after fixing my aircond compressor I'm flat broke. At the end of March, it will be road tax paying time...

I've so knackered I haven't even gone out yet this year. Perhaps I'll do that tonight. I have this craving for a Prosperity Burger...

So there it is, the 1st post for a new decade. Here's to a peaceful, safe, drama free 2010 and may the past stay there and not haunt me like it usually does.

Good Riddance Noughties

Well, we are here. Final day of the first decade of the new millenium. I can't wait to see the back of it.

09 has been an awful year.

I had a quiet time over the Christmas holidays. Relative to how the rest of the year went, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm long leave right now. It's quite nice so far, to be away from work.

Talking about that, it's been pretty good at work. Except for one thing. Of course who can be surprised right? This is me after all, when things are going well there has to be ONE thing to spoil it. Otherwise it would be too easy and too easy is not in sync with how life is supposed to be (at least my life anyway).

I won't spell it out here but I'll just say that it's rather difficult to work with certain people who are... well, difficult. It's a good example of how lack of social skills, inability to communicate coherently and lack of common courtesy can make things very... difficult.

Heck, even our boss is having this difficulty.

Anyway, what can I do? Like all the other crap that I've had to deal with, I'll have to suck it up. I do have a feeling though, something's got to give in the end. Let's see how that works out.

Who knows, knowing my luck it will turn out to be MY fault. Yes, I've had a pretty traumatic year as evidenced by my being far more defensive than usual.

I just hope so much that with the new year all that will go away.

And what of the new year? I hope it will be a year where I can settle into boring, safe routine again. None of these super adventurous attempts at "improving" myself and "advancing" my career or any other related matters.

I'll leave that for younger folks to do.

In other words, my resolution for 2010 is to be happy. Not to be rich, not be successful, not to achieve anything major. Just to be happy.

And may the new decade bring that and some peace and tranquility as well.

There it is then. My next post will be in two weeks or something like that. Or whenever I get around to posting.

So, Happy New Year to you too.

Early Christmas Present?

My Geforce 9800 GT graphics card decided to die on me today. This is very, very bad news. It means I need to shop for a new graphics card. A medium/low grade one that will tie me over until I get the warranty claims sorted out.

God knows how long that is going to take what with the holiday season and all that. Or I could just get another highend card, do the warranty claim and flog off either one of the cards when I get the replacement in.

It's a very, very good thing I have some cash left over from last month. I get paid early this month too. Unfortunately, this means I can't buy a hard disk yet.

Incidentally, I have an extra power supply unit lying around. A pretty good one too. I'm going to sell that one off this week if there are any takers.

Apart from this little bit of drama things are rather quiet.

Oh yes, Borderlands is very, very good. Extremely good in fact. So good, I'm very upset at not being able to play it right now due to the dead graphics card. So disappointed.

Hopefully, tomorrow the claims process will go without any trouble. And hopefully, I can find a cheap card as a temporary replacement.

Baldur's Gate 3?

Dragon Age: Origins. For mature audiences only. Notice the number 18.

I wanted to write about how brilliant Dragon Age is and all that but alas... my modem at home has died. Looks like I'm be buying another router this evening.

Anyway, Dragon Age is the reason why I have failed to update these two weeks.

I didn't really care about it at first but there were bold claims attached to the game. Like "the spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate." And one review said it was "the RPG of the decade."

It made me roll my eyes. Lots of RPG games have come out since Baldur's Gate in 1998 and none of them can even come close to the Baldur's Gate in terms of the epicness of it's backstory and the lore.

Well, I've been playing it for more than a week and yes, it's close to the Baldur's Gate series. Heck, it might even be slightly better in fact. It feels like it. And it plays kind of like it.

Unfortunately, the other thing it inherited from the Baldur's Gate series is the occasionally excessive load times.

Nevertheless, Dragon Age is brilliant and a must try for RPG fans. You won't regret it.

A word of caution though. The game is rated M and some of the things you encounter in the story can be rather... disturbing. But that's why Dragon is Awesome, among other things.

I'd write more but I'm at work and getting quite busy...

Hopefully, I can find a cheap wireless router later today.

Overdue Update

I was at E-Mart just now and the foodcourt was playing this movie. It was freaking awesome. Brilliant.

How long has it been since my last update? I have no idea myself. I just logged in here without checking my last entry. It's been more than a week for sure.

So what's been going on?

Nothing. Work. Play. Hang out. Contemplate buying things from the PC fair but decided not to. Except for an 8gb flash drive. I needed one of those.

Life is like that. Just that. And I'm grateful for the boring routine. At least it's safe. No one gets hurt.

I was thinking about writing about how time flies and how it's the end of the year again. But I'm not going to do that in depth. Time does fly. And yet, December last year felt like a whole lifetime ago. How things change so fast. And yet, it doesn't feel like it's so much different. Perhaps I'm feeling jaded again?

I expect next year to fly by even faster. I also expect next year to be far less traumatic and far more boring. But by writing that down, I've just ensured that something weird will happen didn't I? Fate is a fickle beast. I know that much.

So tomorrow I don't have to work in the morning. I got called in this morning but due to some things absolutely nothing happened. Oh well...

At least I enjoyed the PC fair.

Here's hoping my next update won't take so long to post.

Another Late Update

2012. Lots of smoke. Lots of fire. Not so much bang.

I watched this on Saturday night. It was... ok. There's not need to discuss the plot, story, whatever. It's a typical Roland Emmerich movie. Unfortunately, it didn't have the humor of Independence Day. And it has even more unnecessary family drama fluff than The Day After Tomorrow.

I'm not sure what exactly is missing but the other two movies I mentioned were easier to watch somehow.

Or maybe it's just me. I actually know what Earth crustal displacement and polar shift are. I have books on the subject. That's a problem sometimes when you watch a movie about something you know. Something comes up on screen and you can't help but think,"Wait... That would never happen."

Oh well. Anyway, 2012 is a harmless, fluff movie with some decent special effects.

In other news, this week is rather quiet here. Work is quieter than last week. Last week was mad. Two big events and I got so tired I had to take leave on Friday. Thankfully, there is nothing huge happening this week.

No thanks to last week's event fueled madness, I had no free time and I didn't go out much at all. Thankfully, I had a certain sports management sim to keep me busy...

Don't worry, I won't be writing about FM2010 today. Except maybe to say that it's officially event more addictive than FM2007.

So there we are. Things aren't brilliant at the moment but things are definitely not so bad. Especially considering what was going to happen to me this time last year.

No Time Right Now

Like I was saying last post, I am busy this week. Very busy.

First, there's work. A lot of things are happening this week and I'm working through the weekend. At least the overtime is good so it's ok.

Then there is FM2010! Oh yes. How brilliant is that piece of gaming software. I've been playing it like hell and it's all I expected it to be.

It's a difficult game though. But it's so very addictive.

So far I'm discovering the joys of international management with Ivory Coast. It's great. In the same game I also manage AS Roma. Did well enough last season and finished 4th. Not so good this season. All because of a falling out with a player. Morale went down and 4 straight league losses later (including 1-3 to Livorno. Livorno!! At Home!!), the offending player got sent off on loan some where and everything was fine again in the dressing room. Unbeaten in 5 Serie A so far and slowing getting up the table. But,..

..we're still in 12th place, the boss isn't happy and my job status with Roma is "very insecure". A first FM2010 firing on the cards?

I really should start an FM blog shouldn't I...

November

I'm about to get very, very busy next week. Some big things are going on next month. Things are picking up at work.

On top of the extra activity there are some other things that got sorted out this week which will make everyone feel better.

No much on the personal front though. Still playing the FM2010 demo. Still breathlessly waiting for it to come out this weekend.

It's nice to have such simple needs. I remember it used to be so much more complicated with all kinds of drama going on.

Of course, the other big thing that happened was September 16th being declared a public holiday from next year. About time, I'm happy about that. I got myself in the paper too with some comments.

It's quiet. But it's pretty ok so far. So I don't have much to complain about, unfortunately. And I don't have many meaningful things to write about either.

The muse is very quiet these days...