Power & Control & Trading Off

Power, Control. It's a trade off.

Yesterday's quote was about magic. Too much power and too little control, it'll consume the caster. Too little power and too much control, magic won't work. So just how much in the middle can you be ?

I remembered that quote and thought about what I'm going through. Everything not just relationships or jobs or any other thing. Everything's about trading off between power (or intensity or effort or whatever else that is appropriate) and control. Isn't it ?

I didn't want to write about me & F** today actually. I bet there's people out there reading this and rolling their eyeballs heavenwards and groaning. Well, roll and groan away then. Nobody's stopping you.

I hung out with Leon yesterday and he gave me some clear, practical advice. About ground rules and conduct when meeting new people. About what to talk about and gettng her to talk back. About not being too intense and about being in control of your self (see ? Power. Control. Tradeoff) Most importantly to me, he told me,"Never compare her with any of your previous failures. She's a totally different person. Don't sell yourself short." Well he didn't said that exactly but words to that effect.

I can't bloody help it. My previous failure rate is 100%, even with assistance. How can I not help but be extremely anxious ? How can I not help but over-analyse ? If you were me, how can you be non-chalant about something that you've never ever managed to do well before ? I know I shouldn't but I can't bloody help it.

Is there ANY way to get over this ? Anyone ? Please ?

Anyway, I came away from last night's session feeling a lot less nervous and little more confident. The good thing about Leon's advice is the advice is tailored for me. As in, he didn't tell me to to things that I'm not capable off ("Don't try to dazzle her."). He made some suggestions that made sense. Whatever the outcome, I just have to show her and hope she'll like what she sees. No one can do more than that.

Okay this post doesn't sound like it's about power & control. But it is.

What I got from Leon last night was basically, slow down a bit but keep at it. Not too intense, or she'll freak. Not too slow or else she'll never know that I'm interested in her.

See ? Power. Control. It's a trade off.