Ruins

My week is ruined !!

Okay, not really but ruined in the sense of me not having much time at all to myself and my meet-all-my-friends plan. I've had to go back to the factory and do extra work the last two days. See this is why I don't like to make plans. Bad things happen when I plan. And I have to work till Sunday this week. So no more free time.

I shouldn't really complain about that extra work thing since I do kinda need the extra cash. But complaining about work is such a natural thing to do, isn't it ?

Another side-effect of working too many days of the week is that I don't really time to think about stuff for the blog. I was thinking about adding more links and maybe tinkering with the template code to spice things up a bit. And I was also thinking about converting some non-bloggers.

But alas there is not much time for that, at least not this week.

The only vaguely interesting thing I got up to this week was F*******. Things are ok but the direction this is taking isn't quite the direction that I initialy wanted.

We've gotten quite chummy recently. I was supposed to take her out for lunch but both of us had sudden last minute commitments (I got called back to the factory. Again !!) so had to scratch that one. Anyway, yes we are getting on quite well.

However, I have seen enough recently that tells me that if I were to pursue any kind of relationship other than casual platonic I'm heading for trouble. Let's just say that she's not really ready to be in a serious relationship yet. She told me that too, when we were talking about another guy who was interested in her. She told me that she isn't into playing around with other people's feelings.

It's a good thing she told me that BEFORE I told her about what I was feeling.

I could tell that she doesn't feel the same way about me as I feel about her. So am I no longer interested ? Honestly, I not sure. Well, I still like her a lot and I still think she's cute but the feelings are not quite as intense as before. Which is a good thing.

Which now brings me to another thing that I just thought of. I also, am not ready for a serious relationship. Too many things in my life are still KIV, WIP (Work In Progress) and in the air. There's that new job which I'm waiting on. There's the various financial commitments which I still need to respond to. And there's my own fragmented emotions and the other hangups that prevent me from being stable enough to be in a relationship.

To be in one now is to court trouble. That said, things have a funny way of working sometimes and the Fates may conspire to preempt some of my decisions. So, it's still let's-see-what-happens mode for me.

Now back to F**'s case. All in all, I'm grateful for the fact that we met and that we are friends. She's beginning to trust me more and share some of the more private parts of her life. It's getting easier for us to talk and call each other. It's nice :-). Meeting a new person really does rejuvenate a dull life.

I just hope I can rejuvenate hers too. I'm trying to help her get a new job. She's sick of working in a bar and not being able to go out and relax in the evenings. She also told me she's thinking about going to college sometimes soon. Happily, I can help her with that too.

Am I disappointed that we're not going to be romantically involved ? Hardly.

So, what now ? We're friends and I hope we become closer in time. I'm no longer hoping that she'll fall for me, though if that were to happen I'd be very happy too. But really, what we have now is just nice for me.

I can't really ask for much more.