FM08

Nothing important to say today. Except to say that Football Manager 2008 is coming out later this year!!

WooHoo!!!

That game is going to rule and will cause me to make up all sorts of unreasonable excuses to avoid going out while I play it. Except I won't do that. Much. Must realise that cabin fever is no good for health. Yes yes...

I'm already thinking about what team(s) to manage when I get my hands on the game. I'll probably manage Chelsea at some point. And maybe Real Madrid and call myself Rudi Van Der Merwe who is Real's manager in Goal 2. And of course, I'll start a game with some obscure teeny weeny semi pro team from the English lower leagues as always. Always nice to play the small fish.

I'm also thinking whether I should get the PC one or the PSP one or both. Whatever I get, I expect maximum fun. The new features are fabulous and the screenshots are so drool inducing. Ok, so the interface looks like some kind of office application. But it's FM, so who cares right?

It's football. It's more than life and death...

Oh yes, I also watched Goal 2 last week. Very fun movie. Lots of Becks although he didn't get any lines this time. Steve McManaman did though. I still can't decide whether I liked this one or the first one more. Thomas Gravesen was very funny in the elevator prank scene.

The movie does however have lots of fun football footage and I'll probably be watching it again when I'm bored.

Another movie I watched last week was Pathfinder. I was quite pleasantly surprised at how cool it turned out to be. I was fully expecting a crap B grade hack-n-slash. Instead, I found that I rather liked the story with evil metal sword wielding, chainmail wearing, Icelandic speaking Vikings and the slightly naive Native Americans and the grimy gritty presentation.

Moon Bloodgood was very nice to look at as well as having an awesome name. I like.

Talking about like, how disappointed would you be if you like someone, only to discover later that you don't like her as much as you thought you could?

It's like Chipsmore cookies without the chocolate chips. Kinda nice but not very good. Not the best feeling.

Still, life goes on and I sigh loudly as I let it go on.

Hopefully, the next one will be better.

Have a nice weekend.

A Blogger's Tune

I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say
But when I try to shut my mouth they come out anyway
When I speak my mind, that's when we connect
But that's not politically correct

Our heads are so filled with thought, we can't use our imagination
Like a sky so filled with stars, you can't find a constellation
And everyone's so sensitive to every bad vibration
We're so impressing while we're regressing

There's nothing I believe in more than my own insignificance
So why does everybody think that my words can make a difference
I just don't have time to think up every social consequence
I'll just keep on talking you keep applauding

I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say
But when I try to shut my mouth they come out anyway
If you spoke your mind you might feel more connected
Until you get politically corrected

You lean a little to the left or the right but
You can only see what's on your side.
Look a little like a deer in the headlights
A little blind a little hypnotized.
So you conform with the best of intention
Change comes from inside.
After all that's what this country was founded on
Do nothing different just fall in line.

What happened to make us so afraid
You couldn't make a Mel Brooks movie today
I saw Blazing Saddles yesterday

I don't mean to piss you off with things I might say
But when I try to shut my mouth they come out anyway
When I speak my mind, that's when we connect
But that's not politically correct

- Politically Correct, SR-71, Now You See Inside

And in other news...

A few days ago, the Inland Revenue Dept gave me some money! Yay! It's quite a good amount too. Unfortunately, I've already decided to use it to pay my credit card bills.

I've decided to hold off my PSP purchase until the new slim n lite version comes out. I hope the pricing is ok. If not, I'll see about getting the older version for less. I'll probably buy it in October.

I have to work this weekend and I'm bored and sleepy.

Contrast

That categorisation exercise I mentioned in my last post is proving to be more troublesome than I expected. So many old posts, so difficult to divide. And for some posts, very hard to read now. I'm going to continue with labeling them, but at a much slower pace.

I've had plenty of trouble in my life as evidenced by those entries and by memories of things earlier than my blogging days. I had a random thought about it last night.

As much as I lament my so-called misfortunes in the past, there is actually a silver lining.

I've been going out quite a bit and along the way I've noticed people. I've noticed that a lot of people have a lot of issues and a lot of them don't know how to resolve them. Or express themselves. So many of them act out when they're intoxicated. Which is no good at all really.

I also see many people getting pissed off about trivial matters as if those matters were crises of international proportion. While I do realize that trouble always seems huge, I can't help but think quietly to myself these people haven't seen nothing yet, these people don't have a clue what real trouble is. What real darkness is.

Perhaps it's unfair for me to judge. It probably is. But this entry is about me, not them so...

The thing I noticed is that I could also be like that. I could also panic and hyperventilate and get pissed off about every little thing that I don't like. Except I'm not like that. On the way home last night, I figured maybe I'm not like that because I've seen worse and survived.

I guess the experiences weren't a complete waste of time and things happen for a reason. Maybe because of those things, I can be grateful of the simple things in life that people take for granted.

Perhaps.

Please forgive the rambling. I'm just thinking out loud. I could be wrong, I know.

In other news, a friend of mine posted an entry about how July is proving to be an endless month. I thought about that.

And gosh, she's right.

PSP?

This, my gentle viewers, is an image of the Playstation Portable, also known as the PSP.

For those of us who are not technologically inclined, the PSP is a hand held console.

I have a slight problem here involving the PSP.


See, being an avid PC gamer I've never beeen keen on consoles, never mind a hand held one. So when the PSP appeared 2 years ago, I didn't even notice.

Tonight however, I may be undergoing a slight change of heart.

On Thursday evening, I was out with Rin and we decided to visit Ye Olde Pirate Shoppe to see what kind of cheap software they might have this week. And to look at the PSP. To be fair, the owner of said Pirate Shoppe did try to flog the PSP off to me about 2 months ago but being an avid PC user, I politely declined.

We went to another shop that specialises in consoles and lo, they have the PSP in a multitude of colours like metallic blue, black, gold, white and pink. Rin was quite taken by the pink one as can be expected. I was impressed with it but not impressed enough. I must admit it looks great though.

I was still not impressed enough to consider a purchase. Until a few hours ago.

I was bored and so I decided to read random Wikipedia articles as usual. That was when I decided to read up more about the PSP. Apparently, the thing isn't just a mere Game & Watch clone on steroids.

It is, among other things, a competent music and video player. It supports Memory Stick (obviously). It supports many old PS1 games and many PS2 games have been ported over to the PSP. It has attachments that can be added later. It has native WiFi support and embedded web browser.

All that in a little 6 by 3 inch square thing. A perfect accessory for boring nights and weekends at the office.

If Sony developes a mobile phone plug in for it, I will buy it right now. Really.

It costs RM720/- here in Kuching, which I can actually afford.

To my considerable consternation, I'm discovering that I actually want one!

Oh damn....

Must. Post. More.

I must post more frequently. I also must stop titling posts with Good Week or variations of the same. It's very boring and smacks of laziness on my part.

Tonight I'm at work. Due to the uncertainties about the direction of my employer, a lot of things are left hanging. That means I have very little to do other than play server guard dog, especially at night. This is just the calm before the storm I would say. Very soon I will be submerged by work what with all the impending changes.

This probably means opportunity for some overtime. I could use the money. My more active social life is costing me a little more than what I'm used to. Well what can one say, fun isn't free after all.

I hope when the dust settles I will get more wages. Hopefully.

I found out that Proton has a new Wira/Saga replacement sedan in the works. I'm intrigued. I hope there will be a 1.3 version out in the near future. I might want to try it out. Hopefully the overall build quality and QC will be on par with the Savvy and the Satria Neo. Especially the Neo which is a fine car.

Tonight I'm kind of free so I'm going to look through all my old entries and categorize them. I might also flag some for deletion. I'm still thinking about the wisdom of this. I once said that I would never delete any posted entries, although to date I have actually deleted one. But I do realize some of my older entries are very, very "difficult" to read.

I'm not sure yet. What do I want, time capsule or good impression for readers?

Talking about readers I'm still pleasantly surprised at the number of visits that I get despite there being basically nothing here. Visits and comments are always appreciated as always.

I'm also making some small adjustments to my blog template.

I'll be free on Monday and hopefully I can resist the temptation to go out too much. It's a problem, but the good kind.

Have a good weekend.

Good Week

I have a Facebook account. I'm not sure what to do with it yet. At least my username is now reserved.

I watched Iran vs Malaysia last night. It was hard to watch, I won't lie. At least the local boys did something they didn't really do during the first two games. They threw themselves into tackles, defended well enough and played as if their very lives depended on it. In a way, their very lives did depend on it.

Imagine the uproar had we conceded four or five more goals.... A 2-0 defeat is not a nice thing but it sure beats being thrashed.

I also hear the the Cabinet has agreed to phase out the ancient S-61s that the airforce have been using, after the latest crash. It's about time. I'm personally partial to Russian choppers, tough and robust as they are. Also, cheapish. I'll be watching this development with some interest.

Now on to happier things...

I was at this nice little bar called The Office last night. It was Ladies' Night. It was fun.

I met up with some friends at 10.00pm and from then until around 12.30am, the place was CRAWLING with women! I'd say 80% of the patrons were female. It was incredible. Looked like a pretty safe bar too. No unsavoury characters selling pharmaceuticals in dark corners and no dumb kids looking for fights.

So if you guys are bored on Wednesday night, go to The Office (across the street from Memories) and hang out. Guaranteed good view. To think, I went in the middle of the month. Imagine how the place would be like on payday....

All in all, a good week for me. Now I go and repair a friend's computer.

Ciao.

Coming off The Bench

Guess what?

Today is my birthday. I'm 34.

For a lark, I went through my archives to see what happened during recent times on my birthday. That's one benefit of having a blog folks, your personal time capsule. I don't know how it works for other bloggers, but when I read old entries I also recall the way I was feeling when those entries were written.

So I was reading old entries. It's only been a few years and those entries feel like they were written a lifetime ago. How much has change? A hell of a lot.

It's been a good year so far, so no one is going to hear me complain about how old I am. That's fine. I'm having an interesting time rediscovering things that I enjoy about my life. I've discovered recently that I may not be as dead inside as I thought I was. Or rather, these days I feel like I can take risks and rejection more readily, without worrying about my house of cards collapsing.

I recall one time I said I wasn't thinking about women and relationships because I was worried about rejection and failure and how that would plunge me back into depression. Well, I can safely say that this is not going to happen. I can deal now. No problem.

Yes, treatment is going well. I'm no longer mayor of depressionville. It's official. At least until the medication wears off anyway. I expect my next appointment to be my last or 2nd to last and one week after I get off the meds, I will know. If I don't relapse after one drug free week, then that is the best thing ever that could happen. I keep my fingers tightly crossed.

I feel that seeing a professional about my "problem" is the biggest thing I did this year (maybe even biggest thing EVER) and definitely the most life changing. It's like the world is a different place. Well, kind off. Reality is perception after all.

Anyway, about getting back in the game.

I used to have real trouble with women in the past. Usually having to do with me not having enough confidence. I'm not saying that I've gotten it right, but lately I'm beginning to see that it's actually ok to stand my ground and say no to someone that I was going out with. Contrary to what I was worried about, she actually treats me better. I get more respect. I don't have to worry about being taken for a ride again. It's counter intuitive in a way but it seems to be ok.

I used to be a real doormat when it comes to things like this. But David Deangelo is right on that part. Wusses don't get any respect and it's possible to flirt and go out with women without selling yourself short and losing your dignity. In short, not being a streotypical Nice Guy is actually a good thing.

I understand it better what that means now. Not being a Nice Guy doesn't mean being a asshole and mistreating your companion. It's more to do with having self respect because the Nice Guy is usually quite a wuss. I would know. I was one. David says that a guy who respects himself "looks" better to a woman than a "Nice Guy". I'm beginning to see that myself.

Some of the stuff I get from David Deangelo is gold. No canned routines or pickup lines here. The thing that is most valuable is the psychology of relationship. Some of the stuff is fascinatingly simple. And true, from what I can see.

Yes I'm aware off the controversy surrounding the so-called seduction community. I had my own misgivings myself. But I can't deny that some of the stuff I read is true. Personally, I think a lot of guys can use the information, not to be womanisers or pick up artists but to help them relate to women better and not end up being annoying/creepy/clingy etc. The knowledge is like a weapon or a tool, it can be used for either good or evil.

Social science is very interesting no?

What I'm basically saying is I'm no longer putting relationship on hold. I'm not actively looking for anything serious but at the same time I won't write it off completely. Right now I just want to go out, have fun and take it all in my stride.

Maybe I'll get lucky along the way.

A Good Week So Far

The Bitter Stickgirl's blog is very, very impressive. Brilliantly done. Go and see.

In other news, I was with some friends over at the Watering Hole after work on Monday night and I heard this girl sing. She had the voice of an angel. No, I wasn't drunk.

I also heard songs from UB40's Labour of Love 2 album. Ahh, UB40. A reggae outfit from Birmingham named after a piece of government paperwork.

Anyway, I hadn't heard anything by UB40 in a long, long time. Back in school and in my college years, I had a bunch of UB40 cassettes. My favourite was Labour of Love 2. After that night, I went online to search for UB40 stuff.

I found Labour of Love 2. Together with Labours of Love 1 & 3 in the same download. It's an excellent find. Another nice thing to happen this week.

I also managed to find the SR-71 discography.

So far it's been a really nice week. Eventful and fun, both at work and at play. But money is running kinda low...

Good thing payday is only a week away.

Tee Hee Hee...

This weekend turned out to be a rather good one.

Firstly, my bank calls me up to say that they are upping my credit limit. God knows why, but I suppose that's a good thing.

But really, that's not that big a deal.

Last night, I was supposed to stay home, play Oblivion and sleep early since I'm working this morning. But then, my colleague kept bugging me to go out for drinks for a short while. So I did.

I arrive at the drinky place and order my drink. Just then, colleague calls to say that he couldn't come due to some last minute thing. No problem then. But I've already ordered my drink. So I hang around.

Then, the girl formerly known as Waitress Bar Wench appears with some friends. Yay, drinking buddies! So we drink and chit chat. Incidentally, she doesn't hang out with her old, annoying company anymore. Turns out they had a bad falling out. Which is a good thing. Her new friends are so much less annoying. I went and told her straight in her face about what I thought of her old friends. She nodded.

Also, funny how things look when the eyes are wide open and not clouded by emotional problems... I did like her before. A lot. But last night, I couldn't remember why. She's ok but not as anything more than casual friends. Which is fine for me. No hard feelings.

It was nice. But it's not a huge deal either. I hung out with her the previous night too so it was cool. But not a big deal.

The clock was reading 11.00pm and I was about to leave in 20 minutes.

Just then, this particularly dollsome young woman saunters over to where we were sitting and clinks her glass with mine. So we start talking.

This is kinda strange. I'm sitting there in my ratty unwashed jeans, slippers and round neck t-shirt doing absolutely nothing, with my hands in my pockets and a woman comes up to chat. A really attractive one too. This sort of thing doesn't happen to me much, so this might be a big deal.

But maybe she was just being nice. Or maybe she knows ex-Waittress girl in some way. Even if she didn't say anything to the others.

Not long after that, she asked for my phone number.

She claims her name is S****a. She said she'll call. I don't believe her one bit actually but it was really nice of her to say that. For all we know, she might've been drunk and she'll forget everything in the morning. It was nice gesture though. Count thy blessings I say.

Now this is a big deal.

In my entire life, this is the first time this kind of thing has ever happen. Makes me feel kinda nice. This means that I may not be as wallflowery and unapproachable as I thought. Maybe having long hair helps after all. Who knows?

Hee. Yes I'm very gleeful and despite my relative lack of sleep this morning, I'm in a really good mood. All evenings should be this fun...

That's not all. In our group last night, there was another one. Very nice. Very tall. Very friendly. I might see her again soon too.

And then there was that group of women sitting at the table next to ours. Especially the one in the black dress who kept borrowing my lighter.

I'm not going to be stupid and wonder why this is happening. This is the kind of evening to be enjoyed not to be overanalysed.

Perhaps changing routines was a good thing after all.

So how was your weekend?

I Want!

Bee-Otch!

Now, how do I get this kind of stuff around my part of the world?

The Bee-Yoch-ing Hour!

Yes, I watched the ball-busting, bone-crushing, unrelenting glorious actioner that is Transformers!

The movie started quietly enough. It was quiet. For about 5 minutes. Then the Decepticon Blackout got bored of being a big, fat MH-53 Pave Low chopper and transformed.

The entire population of Star 2 went nuts and my head promptly exploded.

This is the kind of film that rushes up to you, grabs you by the scruff of the neck and drags you through two hours and twenty minutes of furious action and wanton robotic violence. To put it mildly, Transformers rocks. If you watch it in the right spirit of course.

I was very worried about all the stuff that I'd been hearing about this movie. I was worried that all the changes wouldn't work. Things like Bumblebee not being a Beetle and Optimus having a mouth. Stuff that I don't remember from the cartoons and comics and other stuff that the producers had to cut out.

All those doubts quickly evaporated as Blackout and Frenzy do their nasty work in the first 15 minutes of the movie.

The humans weren't bad either. Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox did an excellent job in their respective roles, especially LeBeouf who carried many scenes with his wit and humour. The supporting cast was good enough too.

But let's face it, people came to watch Transformers not to ogle at Megan or laugh at Shia's jokes but to watch Autobots and Decepticons go at each other's throats. And go they did.

Hugo Weaving's Megatron was spot on, menacing and uncompromising. Just as he should always be. I got to say though, for some reason the Decepticon Barricade really caught my attention. Such attitude. To Punish and Enslave indeed.

I have one minor complaint. Not enough Starscream. More Starscream in the sequel please?

How about the Autobots?

I love that scene with Bumblebee's bee shaped Bee-yoch rear view mirror ornament. I want one for myself. It would be so cool.

Optimus was Optimus. What can anyone say about him? With or without a mouth, Optimus is Optimus.

Of the others, I like Ironhide the most. He's as badass as ever, in whatever reincarnation. I have to say that this version of him is the most badass ever, especially in terms of raw firepower.

All in all, as an old G1 fan, I'm very surprised at how much I enjoyed this new Transformers. It was brilliant. It might not have been old skool G1, but all the things that define the Transformers were all there. The spirit of G1 is alive and well!

I'm glad they didn't tone down the violence. That would've turned it into a stupid toy movie, as opposed to an awesome toy movie.

To wrap things up, I say that this movie is the best action flick I've ever watched in a long, long time. Perhaps even for all time. It's so good, I'm going to watch it again this week!

One more thing, if you are going to watch this movie looking for meanings and analogies and flow and symbolism and other arty stuff, take my advice.

Don't watch it.

This is NOT an art film. Transformers is robot action movie about robots kicking each other's ass. Watch it as that and nothing else. If you expect it to be anything else, you will be like those humourless pseudo-film critic morons on IMDB.

In other news, I heard some unsettling news the last few days.

I heard rumours that because of our recent takeover, there are plans to relocate the plant somewhere else. Like China. Or Thailand. Or West Malaysia. As can be expected, a lot of people are worried about this.

From what I've been hearing officially, it's going to be business as usual. The only thing that'll change is the company name.

So many conflicting rumours. I supposed I'm not going to worry about it until I know for sure.

But I guess it's not a bad thing to activate Plan B...