Tuesday, May 16, 2006


A friend of mine runs a sort of internet zine. In this month's installment was that ever elusive question:-

"How do you define yourself?"

That is a damn good question.

I've been asked that before. And now, like before, my answer is still the same.

I don't know.

Actually with me, the difficulty with a question is the difficulty of knowing what exactly does definition mean. I've thought about this a lot. It boggles the mind. It might help if I read someone else's answer first.

I can't really decide how exactly do I define me. Is it the things I do? What I belief in? The things I say? The way I relate to other people?

Out of curiosity, I Googled it. Apparently, there's no single way of dealing with this. There's a thousand different ways to answer this question.

I also wonder if the questions "How do I define myself?" and "What defines me?" carry the same meaning. Do they? I feel that before any sort of definition takes place, the How must be decided before the What.

This is quite a challenging bunch of questions isn't it? Or maybe it's just me....

Anybody who's reading this, feel free to answer. How do you define yourself?

Moving on now.

Last post, I said that it was going to be a long week. Mercifully enough, it hasn't turned out that way. I'm not feeling too exhausted. Must be the sun. I still have 2 more days to go. It doesn't sound too bad, at least not right now.

Also last post, I mentioned (again) my inability to do well in a club or party situation. Yeah, without someone else helping to break ice, I tend to get all wallflowery.

It hit me suddenly.

All the while whenever I write about my thoughts concerning matters like this, I always write about the stuff that I CAN'T do. I write about weaknesses, flaws, mistakes etc.

I never write anything about the things that I CAN do. I never really write about any strengths and good points. I may not have been very good at building relationships etc, but surely there are things that I am capable of doing right. Right? Maybe part of the equation is to work on strenghts instead of dwelling on weaknesses.

Perhaps I'm afraid that I might delude myself if I do think about my plus points. Perhaps it's too much like bragging? I don't like to brag, really. Maybe that's why I never dwell on the good and the right things that I may capable of doing in a relationship.

If true, then I've uncovered another mistake I have been making. That is, I always look at the half empty without looking at the other not-empty half of the cup. I don't think that's the best way to look at problems.

Maybe next post I will try that. So that makes two things to write about next time.

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