Sunday, February 12, 2006

No More Mr. Nice Guy?

No more. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

It's always quite unnerving to read something, a book or a newspaper article or something on the net, and see yourself in it.

I've always known that there's something not quite right about myself, especially when relating to women. There was I kind of knew what it was, but I could never articulate it.

I knew something wasn't really right and I know many people who are my friends and people who leave comments everytime I write about this here know this too. But somehow, no one really knows how to describe it.

I was blind surfing yesterday, when I came upon this article about the so-called Nice Guy Syndrome. I laughed and wondered, wow, they have a name for it now. But the more I read, the less funny it became. Incidentally, the article has a link to which was recommended to me by a friend. I haven't checked it out yet, but now I think I might.

Anyway, I digress.

So, I went around some more, looked up Wikipedia and found more links. Links like this one. Kind of harsh, but a really good article nonetheless. I also checked out all the other links.

I personally know a few more guys other than myself who could use this all information. Anyway...

Ahh Mr. Nice Guy. He's very confused. He's kind, reliable, safe and dependable. And yet, he can't find a mate. Women keep telling him that these are the things that they want in a man, but it doesn't look like it's enough.

The problem is, Mr. Nice Guy is also.....well, insipid and to be honest, not very attractive to women. And he doesn't know that. Is it any surprise that he's always single?

I knew there was something wrong with me when it comes to women. I knew I was doing something wrong, something that chases women away, something that lands me in the the so-called Friend Zone.

As can be expected, I didn't know what was wrong.

You see, Mr Nice Guy is also clueless and places priorities in the wrong areas. He tries to sell himself but he's selling the wrong things. Things that he thinks women would like, but in reality these things aren't enough.

As can be seen from all my related blog posts and conversations with people, I'm clueless as well. I keep asking why, don't I?

Yes, a woman wants a nice guy who's good to her and is kind and dependable and all that. But none of these things are attractive enough, not by themselves.

Mr Nice Guy needs to be more that just be "nice".

I think I have a clearer idea now. I think I need to rethink everything again. At least now, I have more insight and more importantly, a potential solution to a deep seated flaw.

Being "nice" is not enough.

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