Friday, May 18, 2007

Replacement Day

I'm at work today. I'm not supposed to be at work but here I am anyway. The guy who was supposed to be here had a case of pink eye.

I'm slightly bored. It was a good day though. Later, I might go out but the parents are using the car. I'm not sure what to do yet.

Anyway, I've made a decision of some sort.

I've decided to stop writing about "newsworthy" stuff. Like current issues. And politics. And stuff like that. This blog is about me mostly and that is what I will be writing about mostly. I may write about "news" stuff, but only how it relates to me and how I feel about it. No more detailed stuff.

I've decided to do this because it's very tiring to write about "news" stuff (and arguing about it afterwards). This blog is a sanctuary and it's not a place I want to have arguments in.

So that's decided already.

On the whole, I'm feeling quite good. The meds are really helping and I'm really feeling a difference. A lot of things have changed. Especially the things I think about and feel.

A lot of the negativity has gone. A lot of the darkness has gone. I think about the past a lot less now. I don't feel as haunted as before. And yet at the same time, I worry that I might turn into one of those annoying embassador from happy town types. That would be very bad.

To be honest, that's not likely to happen. Too much has happened and I'm not going to forget even as I feel better and better as a whole.

I haven't told anyone else yet apart from my immediate boss at the office. He was quite shocked as can be expected but he didn't give me a hard time. He's pretty cool actually.

Certain other things haven't changed.

I remember one time I wrote a post about changing your personality and where to draw the line between fixing your flaws and changing so completely as to have a new "fake" self. I have a better idea of where that line is now.

Me post meds and me pre meds is the same guy, only not depressed. Only a little more positive. That's the ultimate aim anyway.

It's been nearly a month since I started treatment and so far so good.

I hope it stays that way when I get off the meds.

Have a nice weekend.

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