Just now I bought some movies. Am watching The Last Legion right now. Aishwarya Rai is soo hot she borders upon the fantastically unreal. Those eyes...
Obviously, most men (and women) with eyes will know that. She plays a Byzantine warrior in the movie. She has some awesome fight scenes.
I'm having a quietish week. It's been raining a lot especially during the day. A welcome relief from the heat.
I had an itch this week. An itch for a change in routine. So I went out and changed it without much thought. I remember a time when change brought the worse kinds of anxiety.
Ever since I began treatment I've been feeling bolder and stronger with each passing day. Even at work. I've recently been given a vital task. Normally this kind of thing will fill me with dread and the fear of failure.
But this week, I see an opportunity to shine. I feel comfortable, somehow knowing that the task is right up my alley whatever happens. I know I can deal with it.
I do wonder when I'm alone sometimes, where do I begin and where do the meds end. Is this who I am really am? If so, who was I all those years?
I don't know right now and frankly, I don't care at the moment. All I know is that I feel freer than I've ever felt. In time, the treatment will end and I will be let go, back into the blue.
In that time, I will have my answers.
I pray that the answer will be the one I hope to hear and the person that emerges is really me, free at last from my ghosts.
Have a nice weekend y'all.