Sunday, March 25, 2007


I'm feeling a little under the weather these last few days.

It's annoying how flu medication can cause forgetfulness. I paid my road tax last week and this morning it suddenly dawned to me that I haven't put up the new road tax disc yet. The old road tax expired yesterday. I hope there are no cops on my way back later.

I could use a professional massage. I'm stiff all over the place. It's very uncomfortable.

Thankfully, today is my last day of work for this week. That means tomorrow I can try to sleep off the rest of my flu. We can't let illness get in the way of days off from work now can we?

It's quite strange how turbulent one can feel despite the fact that literally nothing is going on in one's life. I think it's just a bad habit on my part. I'm probably so used to inner turmoil and being frustrated/heart broken that when I'm not, I secretly yearn for it. Maybe subconsciously I need it like a crutch so that I have some justification for being bitter and cynical. Maybe.

Or maybe it's just the flu talking?

Flu or otherwise, I do have some self destructiveness built into my emotional/psych DNA, that much I'm definitely sure off. It's important for me to note that otherwise I'll forget and gravitate towards said self destruction like I used to when I was younger. Must not forget. I'm not young anymore and I can't afford to spend another decade wallowing in melancholy and self pity without any direction.

I guess it's my cross to carry.

Which reminds me of another fact. There's a lot of pretty screwed up people around. I sometimes wonder if they are aware of it.

Ok then, time for more pills. Hopefully when I get out of bed tomorrow morning, everything will be better and I won't feel so stiff.

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