Time

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

- Time, Pink Floyd, Dark Side of The Moon

Not Feeling so Good

I’m not feeling so good. Tired. And it’s about to get very, very busy around here. I do in fact want to elaborate on my last post but I’m not really up to it and the moment.

Going out to Bing later. Haven’t gone to Bing in forever.

Chinese New Year break was pretty good. Quiet. Only went to one house. I did have a really good time on the eve of CNY. Went to hang out at a friend’s house to watch fireworks. I was thinking the impromptu fireworks we have in all the towns in Sarawak could be a useful tourist attraction. I think it’d be a good idea to use it that way.

No Valentine’s day blues. Hadn’t had that for a while actually. No desire to whine or ruminate over relationships and women etc. I think I’ve pretty much written down everything I’ve got to say about that. I guess that’s a good thing even though it makes this blog less fun to read. Not that anyone reads it anymore anyway, apart from myself.

I think Twitter and Facebook are more immediate and gratifying as a means of self expression. Hence the reduction in blogging interest.

Felt very lethargic last week and this week too. Tomorrow I’m planning to sleep in.

It’s nearly the end of February and this is only my 2nd post.

There is one other thing I want to write down. About work. I’m feeling kinda angsty again. But no adventure this time. Only security. I get this feeling that this job isn’t secure enough.
Something to think about the next few weeks.

I would feel worse if not for the games on my PC. Had to reinstall Windows recently. The first time I’ve done that to my PC in at least 3 years.

I’ll post again within the next 2 weeks or when something noteworthy happens whichever comes first.

Bits and Pieces

What do Martin Sheen, Michael Dorn, Carrie-Anne Moss, Yvonne Strahovski, Tricia Helfer, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Adam Baldwin and Seth Green have in common? They all do voices for Mass Effect 2!

I've been too busy playing Mass Effect 2. It's brilliant. Every bit as good as its sister Dragon Age. I've just finished the game but I'm starting another one. I also started another Dragon Age file recently too.

Anyway, Mass Effect 2. It's so good it's.... so good. It's an action RPG. And also a sandbox type game. There's a story. A really good story. And many smaller stories on the side. Star charts. Planets to explore. People to chat with. And a final act worthy of any action movie. Or mini series.

If someone mashed together this game and Privateer it would be mind blowingly awesome.

Actually, games like these have grown big enough to warrant its own mini series. One movie won't be enough to include everything in the game, should a movie adaptation be made of course.

And there's the graphics. Beautiful.

Anyway, March will be more fun. There's a Dragon Age expansion to look forward to. An DLCs for Mass Effect. And patch 10.1.3 plus January transfer updates for FM2010. And movies!

Unfotunately, February is a busy month. There's a huge do coming up towards the end of the month and it's going to be quite mad. I just hope nothing bad happens.

So far nothing bad has happened. I do wish it would be more peaceful though. It's not like I'm in trouble or anything. But I got nostalgic recently and I suddenly remembered a time when things felt... different. Warm.

I used to go out with friends and we'd hang out the whole day talking about fanciful stuff like life and jobs and what we wanted to do. We talked about feelings and relationships. And deep meaningful stuff.

That was before real life struck of course. Then I got busy, friends got busy, people grew up and drifted apart. Then there's the depression and the fluoxetine. I still think about that. How differently things would've worked out had I took the pills earlier.

Life is pretty cruel when you think about it. I have more to write. Perhaps later?

The End of Mondays

It's the end of January already.

As usual, there's not much to write about. Things are just as they are. I'm looking forward to February. A short, quick month with public holidays in it. And March will come and new movies are due out then. Like Clash of The Titans.

I'm very excited about that. I watched the original back in the day with the parents if I'm not mistaken. I was 8 years old. I remember the original story and characters very, very clearly. It'll be like a reunion of sorts when that movie comes out on 26 March.

Another reason why this movie was significant is due to the fact that it sparked my interest in Greek mythology. Which led to interest in Roman mythology. Which led to interest to Egyptian mythology. Which led to... Well, the general idea is there.

That is how I ended up being a history and archeology buff that I am today.

I can't help but think that maybe when the new Titans movie comes out in March there will be a kid in the audience who would feel compelled to read by the story.

I certainly hope so.

In other news, I'm learning Linux. Forced to by things happening at work. It's hard. But I'm going to keep at it. It's essentially DOS on steroids after all. I know DOS so I should be able to figure Linux out in time. And who knows, Linux knowledge might lead to other, better... opportunities in the future.

I'm also pleased to note that so far there is no major inconvenience yet to report in 2010. Neither is there any drama. Or disappointment. Here's to hoping February would be the same.

Slowing Down

Well that took a long, long time didn't it.. There is even less time these days to even update my Facebook status nevermind post in blogs.

I had a long, long week last week. There was a big do here over the week and I was on duty. Tiring. But quite satisfactory. On Sunday, I went out to buy some more computer stuff for this friend of mine who is going on a PC upgrading spree. Over the last few months, I helped him change everything from DVD writer to CPU to RAM to motherboard. Even got a pretty good graphics card. We changed everything and yesterday we went out to buy a new hard disk. 500Gbs for RM175. That's ridiculously cheap.

If it weren't for the fact that I need to pay insurance at the end of March I would buy one myself. It's still on though. I really, really need the extra space. After all the bills are paid I'm getting one as soon as I can afford it.

So yeah, now this friend has what amounts to a brand new PC covered by three year warrantee. We are both very pleased. The only things we haven't changed are the monitor and the casing. This "new" PC should last him quite a while. His old PC stayed more or less the same for something like 8 years.

It was fun doing this. I wish I could build more computers more often.

Other than that, things are pretty routine so far. Time has floated by at a good enough rate so this January doesn't actually feel like the dreary month it usually is. It's been raining very heavily a hell of a lot. People have been complaining about it and for good reason I guess. But I actually like the rain apart from the fact that it makes it inconvenient to go out.

There's been a little bit of drama at work but thankfully it doesn't really involve me. Some people live of this office politics stuff. I'm not one of them. As if like isn't already complicated enough like I often say.

Hopefully this week will be less busy and I can slow down a bit.

Cleanse

You know what some people say about how the year end brings nothing new, that the so-called New Year's Day is just an arbitrary placeholder for the end of a calendar. Nothing changes.

I agree with that.

But this time oddly enough, it feels like something HAS changed somewhere.

I've been at work for a week now and life in general is a little different. It's probably just a change in perception. What I don't know is what brought that on. Especially considering how awful last year was. By right I should be traumatized. True to form last year was filled with crap right up till the last day.

But I'm not traumatized. I could say that I'm numbed but I'm sure it's not that. Maybe it's the weather? Or the new music I put in the car? It's hard to describe exactly what I'm feeling. It's something like feeling easier, like a burden has lifted with the coming of a new year. It feels like I could consign all that awfulness to the past where it belongs? I'm not sure I'm saying this right.

Basically, it's almost as if 2009 didn't really happen.

One not so good thing so far is how busy I am this first week of January. Tomorrow I have to come work again. And next week I might have to work until 10.00pm until Saturday.

Good timing though, after fixing my aircond compressor I'm flat broke. At the end of March, it will be road tax paying time...

I've so knackered I haven't even gone out yet this year. Perhaps I'll do that tonight. I have this craving for a Prosperity Burger...

So there it is, the 1st post for a new decade. Here's to a peaceful, safe, drama free 2010 and may the past stay there and not haunt me like it usually does.

Good Riddance Noughties

Well, we are here. Final day of the first decade of the new millenium. I can't wait to see the back of it.

09 has been an awful year.

I had a quiet time over the Christmas holidays. Relative to how the rest of the year went, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm long leave right now. It's quite nice so far, to be away from work.

Talking about that, it's been pretty good at work. Except for one thing. Of course who can be surprised right? This is me after all, when things are going well there has to be ONE thing to spoil it. Otherwise it would be too easy and too easy is not in sync with how life is supposed to be (at least my life anyway).

I won't spell it out here but I'll just say that it's rather difficult to work with certain people who are... well, difficult. It's a good example of how lack of social skills, inability to communicate coherently and lack of common courtesy can make things very... difficult.

Heck, even our boss is having this difficulty.

Anyway, what can I do? Like all the other crap that I've had to deal with, I'll have to suck it up. I do have a feeling though, something's got to give in the end. Let's see how that works out.

Who knows, knowing my luck it will turn out to be MY fault. Yes, I've had a pretty traumatic year as evidenced by my being far more defensive than usual.

I just hope so much that with the new year all that will go away.

And what of the new year? I hope it will be a year where I can settle into boring, safe routine again. None of these super adventurous attempts at "improving" myself and "advancing" my career or any other related matters.

I'll leave that for younger folks to do.

In other words, my resolution for 2010 is to be happy. Not to be rich, not be successful, not to achieve anything major. Just to be happy.

And may the new decade bring that and some peace and tranquility as well.

There it is then. My next post will be in two weeks or something like that. Or whenever I get around to posting.

So, Happy New Year to you too.

Early Christmas Present?

My Geforce 9800 GT graphics card decided to die on me today. This is very, very bad news. It means I need to shop for a new graphics card. A medium/low grade one that will tie me over until I get the warranty claims sorted out.

God knows how long that is going to take what with the holiday season and all that. Or I could just get another highend card, do the warranty claim and flog off either one of the cards when I get the replacement in.

It's a very, very good thing I have some cash left over from last month. I get paid early this month too. Unfortunately, this means I can't buy a hard disk yet.

Incidentally, I have an extra power supply unit lying around. A pretty good one too. I'm going to sell that one off this week if there are any takers.

Apart from this little bit of drama things are rather quiet.

Oh yes, Borderlands is very, very good. Extremely good in fact. So good, I'm very upset at not being able to play it right now due to the dead graphics card. So disappointed.

Hopefully, tomorrow the claims process will go without any trouble. And hopefully, I can find a cheap card as a temporary replacement.

Baldur's Gate 3?

Dragon Age: Origins. For mature audiences only. Notice the number 18.

I wanted to write about how brilliant Dragon Age is and all that but alas... my modem at home has died. Looks like I'm be buying another router this evening.

Anyway, Dragon Age is the reason why I have failed to update these two weeks.

I didn't really care about it at first but there were bold claims attached to the game. Like "the spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate." And one review said it was "the RPG of the decade."

It made me roll my eyes. Lots of RPG games have come out since Baldur's Gate in 1998 and none of them can even come close to the Baldur's Gate in terms of the epicness of it's backstory and the lore.

Well, I've been playing it for more than a week and yes, it's close to the Baldur's Gate series. Heck, it might even be slightly better in fact. It feels like it. And it plays kind of like it.

Unfortunately, the other thing it inherited from the Baldur's Gate series is the occasionally excessive load times.

Nevertheless, Dragon Age is brilliant and a must try for RPG fans. You won't regret it.

A word of caution though. The game is rated M and some of the things you encounter in the story can be rather... disturbing. But that's why Dragon is Awesome, among other things.

I'd write more but I'm at work and getting quite busy...

Hopefully, I can find a cheap wireless router later today.

Overdue Update

I was at E-Mart just now and the foodcourt was playing this movie. It was freaking awesome. Brilliant.

How long has it been since my last update? I have no idea myself. I just logged in here without checking my last entry. It's been more than a week for sure.

So what's been going on?

Nothing. Work. Play. Hang out. Contemplate buying things from the PC fair but decided not to. Except for an 8gb flash drive. I needed one of those.

Life is like that. Just that. And I'm grateful for the boring routine. At least it's safe. No one gets hurt.

I was thinking about writing about how time flies and how it's the end of the year again. But I'm not going to do that in depth. Time does fly. And yet, December last year felt like a whole lifetime ago. How things change so fast. And yet, it doesn't feel like it's so much different. Perhaps I'm feeling jaded again?

I expect next year to fly by even faster. I also expect next year to be far less traumatic and far more boring. But by writing that down, I've just ensured that something weird will happen didn't I? Fate is a fickle beast. I know that much.

So tomorrow I don't have to work in the morning. I got called in this morning but due to some things absolutely nothing happened. Oh well...

At least I enjoyed the PC fair.

Here's hoping my next update won't take so long to post.

Another Late Update

2012. Lots of smoke. Lots of fire. Not so much bang.

I watched this on Saturday night. It was... ok. There's not need to discuss the plot, story, whatever. It's a typical Roland Emmerich movie. Unfortunately, it didn't have the humor of Independence Day. And it has even more unnecessary family drama fluff than The Day After Tomorrow.

I'm not sure what exactly is missing but the other two movies I mentioned were easier to watch somehow.

Or maybe it's just me. I actually know what Earth crustal displacement and polar shift are. I have books on the subject. That's a problem sometimes when you watch a movie about something you know. Something comes up on screen and you can't help but think,"Wait... That would never happen."

Oh well. Anyway, 2012 is a harmless, fluff movie with some decent special effects.

In other news, this week is rather quiet here. Work is quieter than last week. Last week was mad. Two big events and I got so tired I had to take leave on Friday. Thankfully, there is nothing huge happening this week.

No thanks to last week's event fueled madness, I had no free time and I didn't go out much at all. Thankfully, I had a certain sports management sim to keep me busy...

Don't worry, I won't be writing about FM2010 today. Except maybe to say that it's officially event more addictive than FM2007.

So there we are. Things aren't brilliant at the moment but things are definitely not so bad. Especially considering what was going to happen to me this time last year.

No Time Right Now

Like I was saying last post, I am busy this week. Very busy.

First, there's work. A lot of things are happening this week and I'm working through the weekend. At least the overtime is good so it's ok.

Then there is FM2010! Oh yes. How brilliant is that piece of gaming software. I've been playing it like hell and it's all I expected it to be.

It's a difficult game though. But it's so very addictive.

So far I'm discovering the joys of international management with Ivory Coast. It's great. In the same game I also manage AS Roma. Did well enough last season and finished 4th. Not so good this season. All because of a falling out with a player. Morale went down and 4 straight league losses later (including 1-3 to Livorno. Livorno!! At Home!!), the offending player got sent off on loan some where and everything was fine again in the dressing room. Unbeaten in 5 Serie A so far and slowing getting up the table. But,..

..we're still in 12th place, the boss isn't happy and my job status with Roma is "very insecure". A first FM2010 firing on the cards?

I really should start an FM blog shouldn't I...

November

I'm about to get very, very busy next week. Some big things are going on next month. Things are picking up at work.

On top of the extra activity there are some other things that got sorted out this week which will make everyone feel better.

No much on the personal front though. Still playing the FM2010 demo. Still breathlessly waiting for it to come out this weekend.

It's nice to have such simple needs. I remember it used to be so much more complicated with all kinds of drama going on.

Of course, the other big thing that happened was September 16th being declared a public holiday from next year. About time, I'm happy about that. I got myself in the paper too with some comments.

It's quiet. But it's pretty ok so far. So I don't have much to complain about, unfortunately. And I don't have many meaningful things to write about either.

The muse is very quiet these days...

The Beautiful Game

....is...BEAUTIFUL!

Attention! This post is about a game. If you would like to skip all my ranting and frothing in the mouth you may scroll down to the last paragraph and read the summary. Thank you.

I downloaded the demo for this last week and I've been playing it to death, trying to find out whether anything isn't working properly. My conclusion is FM2010 is so fantastically awesome it's beyond belief.

If you are a football fan I URGE you to try this game out. You WILL love it!

As good as FM2009 was, it had some problems that turned off a lot of people. For me personally, these would include the broken Italian Serie A transfers and Italian lower league problems. The game's tactical side didn't really work as well as I wanted it to either. It was tricky and a lot of people who used to play FM casually stopped playing it. Which is sad.

Other things that bothered me a lot is how many clubs in the game world don't retain their players. As a result as time when on, the AI squads would get smaller and smaller especially in the lower leagues. Another thing I hated was some leagues were just... broken. Especially the financial part of it. I like to try and play in different parts of the world and I couldn't get in to it due to some of these leagues not set up properly.

As one can imagine these problems caused a storm on the SIGames forums and apparently, the game devs took notice and made improvements. And improve they did!

I want to note down and write EVERYTHING that I loved about the demo but that would make this post huge! So I'm just going to write the more important ones.

Where do I start? Tactics would be a good place. Last time, when I wanted to change something I go into the tactics section and move many, many sliders that control things like width, tempo, defensive line etc. This goes for player instructions too like tackling and closing down and creative freedom and runs etc etc.

Those sliders are gone in FM2010. Instead, there are drop down menus with general instructions and strategies all written in plain English. So, if I want my team to play a high line and close down our opponents more.. I just tell them that. No more fiddling with damn sliders. Same goes for player instructions. If I want let's say, Leo Messi to run at defenders more or sit back and be a play maker or be a deep striker I just tell him that via a pull down menu. No need to set sliders anymore!

And these instructions WORK! I SEE them being executed in the new, improved match engine. Words fail to describe how much I love this new tactical interface! With this, I done things like change formation during a match, change player roles and duties from attacking to supporting to defending, subbed in extra strikers/defenders/midfielders etc. You know... like an actual football match in real life.

I never bothered before because previously it would take too much work to do it.

Now it's easy! It feels like... coaching a football team instead of playing a computer game! I could go on and on and on but the new tactics part of the game is a giant leap forward, nuff said.

A new FM player will be able to get in to the game immediately and start coaching his team instead of learning what all the fricking sliders do.

The 3D match engine is improved as well. It looks better and smoother now, the AI plays better football and looks even more real.

They fixed Italian Serie A! Woot!! And lower league teams aggressively recruit players! The finances of small teams are now logically set up!

The backroom staff talk to you now! They make suggestions on everything! Tactics, player interactions, the team's strengths and weaknesses. Your physio reports back regularly about injuries! Your scouts proactively make suggestions on players to look for!

Non useless backroom staff! I love it!

Media has improved too. So has hundreds of other small, small things. Like the customizable tool bar on top of the page! And the speed of the game has improved yet again. I've managed to play 25 matches in one go in a little more than half a day on Saturday. That's...... FASTER than FM2009!

The next feature I'm itching to try out is the editor which will come out together with the game. You now can create and edit your own league and cup competitions. This will include activating leagues and cups that are already in the game database but are not officially licensed.

Many people have already stated that they want to do things like activate and manage in leagues like England lower leagues, Italy Serie D, USL (US leagues) etc. I also might try activating leagues in Africa (Egypt!) and the middle east (UAE, Saudi Arabia). And sooner or later someone will create a database for J-League! I know they will.

So yeah, I'm really looking forward to this. I went and checked for all the things that used to bother me in FM2009 and all those things are gone. I'm going to get all my friends to play this especially those who got turned off by FM2009.

To summaries, FM2010 is a giant improvement and will be the best Football Manager game EVER. Strong points are the new, very user friendly tactical interface, the improved match engine and 3D, improved processing speeds, improved staff interaction, improved media, improved AI squad management, improved transfers and improved finances. The game editor will be awesome and I can't wait to try it out!

I hope these improvements will make long term career games viable again!

So if you like football, play FM2010.

Edit: Oooh, I forgot! New tactical element. Touchline instructions! Now instead off shouting at your monitor you can shout orders to your players! I love it!

Demo!

I'm downloading the FM2010 demo this very minute. I'm excited.

There isn't much else to talk about at the moment, unfortunately. Life is as it is. One minor thing though. At work, I have my own cube now unlike before where I had to share my space with 4 other people. Perhaps I should think about a little decoration to make it look a bit more lively?

Something to think about this week.

Things that Didn't Happen

...like my blog post yesterday. I forgot. And some crazed people from a neighbouring country were supposed to invade today weren't they? I was looking at the sky expecting some spear armed paratroopers to descend and they would somehow win, forcing us to go underground and form a partisan unit ala Red Dawn.

I'm so sad to note that some blogs I follow have disappeared suddenly. It's too bad. Now I have to find more to replace them. This is hard since I don't really follow the so-called blogging scene these days.

The weather has been quite nice these days. I got me thinking, since when did people equate rain with nice weather? And who else thinks this way?

I have a sudden craving for Japanese food.

I also have cravings for new games. Unfortunately, most of the ones I want aren't coming out anytime soon. At least FM2010 is out the end of this month. That should be a blast. I've been following it's progress on the MirrorFootball FM blog and I'm liking what I see.

Things are pretty good so far in everyday life. I'm pleased, more or less. Things are rapidly accelerating at work and in the coming weeks I'm going to be quite busy.

I just hope this lack of drama will last at least until the end of this year. So, does anyone have any good blogs to recommend?

By the way, a little bit of advise here. To prevent your blogs, mail and other cyber real estate from being hacked and hijacked, a strong password is a great start. 12345 isn't a strong password. Neither is "password". And same goes for your name, phone number etc.

A strong password looks something like Pa5sW0Rd!!. The longer the better. The more funny characters the better. Even spaces will work. That way, at least it'll be more resistant to brute force attacks.

So ends this week's public service announcement.

Ahh

I'm tired.

We've been having fire training at work over the last few days and it was very tiring. But it was fun.

Fun.

That would be a good word to use this week. I've been having it a lot.

I wanted to post about Need for Speed Shift actually. But I'm so tired, I'm going to put it off until some other time. For the moment, let's just say that it's bloody brilliant and I can't stop playing it.

The in car view is back and it's beautiful. Not only that, other graphics related things as well. At max detail it's mind blowing. Even the plastic and leather parts of the interior look real. Very real.

The game has 50+ cars and each one's interior is properly modeled. It even has working gauges.

Talking about fun, last night I went to visit Aida. She's fun. So much fun in fact, I'm surprised I don't hang out with her more often.

I should do something about that...

Let's hope the fun will continue this week.

Move Along

Once upon a time, I mentioned that this place was a refuge from the world and life and the trouble they bring. This was a place for me to rant and rave and complain and dump all the toxic things that were going on in my life.

Notice the past tense.

I guess one reason why I don’t post much anymore is I haven’t really needed to. I haven’t really needed to run or hide from anything for awhile now.

Not that the troubles are gone of course. They are there. It's just that they don't seem so... troubling anymore.

That’s one of those things about growing older. Gradually things that used to matter a lot, didn’t matter that much anymore. Gradually, letting go of things got easier. Gracefully surrender the things of youth. I understand what that means now.

Or perhaps I’m just being cynical again? I’d like to think that I’ve become more realistic. Or something. Or perhaps I've become a broken record. I know I've written about something like this before.

No, I’m not closing this blog down although the thought did cross my mine. How could I after all these years and all the good that it’s done for me.

After all, I still need a place to squee over some new game or write about the trivial things that I do. It's already like that actually. For awhile now too. And who knows, I might still need to vent once in a while.

So there it is, this week’s post. I really should try to post more than once a week.

Hope your week will be good too.

46

As usual around this time of year, I post something to commemorate what should be our actual national day. Sure, sure, The Powers That Be has given it the name Malaysia Day and insist that our country is 52 years old. Which is kind of odd when you think that if you hop into a time machine and went back to 1962 and asked people about Malaysia, nobody would know what you are banging on about.

Just like many people don't know what the hell is the big deal with 16th of September.

Of course, there are people who try to explain the rationale behind the date and age discrepancy. Whatever it is, all the different explanations sound the same. They sound like lame excuses.

Anyway, whatever. Official or not, the important this is that WE remember. It's not like anyone wants to take the very big trouble of changing things like these anyway.

And we can be grateful because despite all the issues and problems we still have at least we don't have to deal with the kind of bigoted, racist and political bullshit that's happening the other side of the country. I'll always remember that.

So happy anniversary Sarawak, and may we maintain our way of life and all those things that make Sarawak and Sarawakians special.

Finally, a note on the song above. That's the old state anthem. The new one is this one. I like the old one better.

Oops

I would've posted yesterday but I got caught up playing Hawx. It's not bad. At least I got something to use my joystick with.

Had good trip over the weekend. Went out to Kpg Semukoi with some friends to attend a funeral. It's about an hour past Serian. Long drives can be fun sometimes. We might be doing something like that this weekend too.

We're attending some training at work. Very, very interesting.

I would write more but people are starting to come in to the office already. It's been a pretty good week so far.